Thursday, December 24, 2015

Hope and Fear

During Sunday's worship service we were asked to think about how Mary felt when she was carrying Jesus. Was she afraid? Scripture tells us she was filled with joy. Luke 46-55, otherwise known as the Magnificat or Mary's Song:

46 And Mary said:
“My soul glorifies the Lord
47     and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful
    of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49     for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
    holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
    from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
    he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
    but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
    but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
    remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
    just as he promised our ancestors.”

Pastor Matt asked us to think about what fills us with both hope and fear. For me that is change. For the past couple of years I have felt there is about to be a big change in my life, but I don't know what that change is. I am filled with hope that it will be a good change, but also filled with fear because change is hard.

In 2016 I anticipate Ashley will change schools -- really a no brainer since she is graduating from a K-8 school and will go to a high school. Which high school? Who will her new friends be? What new activities will enter our lives? How will she grow?

In 2016 Don would love a new job. Comcast has not been as fulfilling as he thought it would be when he started as a consultant nearly seven years ago.

But those are changes for those I love, and not a change for me. What is my big change? In 2015 I traveled without my family to a foreign country (Cuba). I'd love to do more traveling in 2016. We've talked about moving closer to Ashley's high school, but we still need to figure out what that is. I have wanted to start a memoir business, but get hung up on the logistics of starting a small business.

As Ashley grows and needs me less (yet on some days needs me more), I am hopeful for a change that will help me grow, yet also filled with fear. Pray for me to accept the changes God wants me to make to help shine his light in the world.

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