FU Cancer

This is about as close to swearing as I get both on my blog and in real life, but F U CANCER! Though I have found my language becoming a bit salty after I come home from Australia where swearing is more common.

This weekend cancer (leukemia, again) took the life of a 59-year old curmudgeon Don and I used to work with. 

Steve's posts about his treatments made my skin crawl. I couldn't believe they would put someone through all of that -- bring them to the brink of death with the plan to bring them back to life. His post a week earlier said he was feeling better thanks to the immunotherapy treatments he had been receiving to strengthen him before starting the next round of chemo. He was excited because his New Jersey family would be visiting him in Michigan for a big family party to celebrate the Fourth of July.

The irony is the family will likely be gathering to celebrate, but will celebrate him instead of the nation. Or maybe they will do both.

Steve meshed his IT skills with his passion for theater as he cobbled a career that took him from New York to Alabama to Michigan. We last saw him fourteen years ago (thank you, blog!) in Michigan when we left Ashley at a friend's house and went out to dinner with him. Prior to that it was at our 1993 wedding, and his second wedding in December, 2000.

Since then our relationship has been small messages. Though he grew up in North Jersey a town away from me, he once shared his family said "Have a Wawa" to say have a good day. Upon hearing that, I think of him as I pass Wawas, which are a lot more common in Central Jersey than where we were raised. I sent him Wawa pictures, and he would reply.

Through FB I learned my new cousin (long story) went to high school with Steve and kept in touch. We both mourn his quick wit and cynical look on life. The tributes pouring in on Facebook show the community of friends he made in Michigan. That warms my heart.

F U Cancer! Stop stealing my friends. I especially detest leukemia.

Oh, Canada ... a kilting we will go

Six years ago, in August 2019, we participated in our third kilt race, our first international one, when we crossed the border into Ontario, Canada. Though I was exhausted from just having returned from four weeks on a dig in Israel, the trip was wonderful. We fell in love with Perth, Ontario, and were disappointed to learn that was the tenth and final year the organizers were planning to hold the run.

We all know what happened in 2020. Even if they had planned on holding a kilt run, it would not have happened. I have a memory that someone tried to revive it in 2021, but even if they had held it, the Canadian border was still sealed tight. A google search shows they held a virtual version in 2020 and 2021, but we did not participate in it.

I will write about the actual race in another post. 

When we learned the race was back on for 2025 we blocked the date off on our calendar. I noticed we already had plans: the wedding of a friend's daughter. As the friend told me about the engagement within days of it happening, I thought we would be invited, so I held off on signing up for the race. After we didn't get receive their usual Christmas card, and texts were taking longer to receive replies (and never initiated), we booked the trip. Since the invitation never came, nor were requested wedding pictures sent after the event, I have to accept the friendship is either on hold until the world calms down, or it is over. My door is open.

The trip expanded.

The forecast called for hot weather and thunderstorms each day. The heat was there, but thankfully most of the storms happened while we were sleeping or driving. I feared the smell of 1500 wet kilts if it happened during the race.

On Friday we drove to Smiths Falls, ON, a town I found even sweeter than Perth. Before arriving we had our NEXUS interviews. We must have passed them since the cards arrived in the mail on Saturday. This means we move to the short line when entering and leaving Canada.

Saturday was the race. We started the morning touring the Carnegie built library in Smiths Falls and the rest of the day in Perth.

Sunday we drove an hour into Ottawa for a three-hour walking tour by Toonie Tours, a virtual tour of their Parliament, and a tour of their temporary Senate building. I drew the line at also touring the House of Commons.

Monday was supposed to be the hottest day of the trip. We drove an hour and a half back over the border to Boldt Castle. We highly recommend that!

Tuesday was a planned no-plans day to do whatever we felt we missed out on. I thought we would return to Ottawa, but one hot day in the city was enough for us. Instead we lingered around Smiths Falls and Perth before heading to Merrickville for ice cream at Stella Luna. Merrickville looks like a charming town, but that was when the storms finally caught up to us. We drove to IKEA outside Ottawa to walk around inside.

We drove home on Wednesday. At the border, the confused border control agent was surprised we were in his lane since clearly we had NEXUS. Clear to him and his computer system, not so clear to us. 

My notes from the trip are a jumble. On the first day I simply floated in the feeling of a weight being lifted from my shoulders. We walked a lot, soaking up the charming Smiths Falls, and I did not take out my notebook to write my thoughs on the day. Two days later when I did, the 48-hours (or so) are a stream of consciousness in no particular order.

Easy Steps to Learn more about US Politics

I spoke with a friend today whom I have not seen in a long time. The conversation started innocently enough with updates on kids and spouses before shifting into politics. I'm of the mind that everything these days is related to politics and that every possible topic is divisive. I jokingly told her about a picture someone took of me that makes it look as if I am happily hula hooping when in reality I am laughing because I was struggling to keep it up. 

I was bringing it up as an example of how you can't believe everything you read on the internet, especially on social media.

Somehow this shifted to her seeing my post about attending a No Kings protest with my mom. She said she is just not political. It is not her thing. This didn't really shock me, but what did was her saying until she saw my post about attending one the next day she hadn't even heard about the planned protests (not that she would have attended anyway). Here is someone with over a thousand FB friends (50 of whom we have in common) and she didn't even know the rallies were taking place. Thankfully 13.14 million of others did know, and did show up, but I find it hard to believe there are those who didn't even know it was happening.

I left her with a couple of soft sources to learn more about what is happening in this country. It is impossible to keep on top of all of it. The chaos coming out of Washington is designed to overwhelm us until we all put our heads in the sand and hope for the best. Sadly, this friend is already there along with many of those in her circle. She figures she'll wait it out for four years and see what happens with the next President.

She prides herself on not losing friends over politics.

I listed things that are friend deal breakers for me. No yelling at me about my views is at the top. I'm against keeping a braindead woman alive just so she can deliver her baby. I'm pro-LGBTQ+ rights, including marriage. I want to fight for my values before they are overturned.

In case you are also afraid to hurt people's feelings by being political, here are the softball places you can go to learn more. No one needs to know you are becoming educated: 

I recommend Heather Cox Richardson, both her twice weekly political roundups on Facebook or YouTube, and her daily Letters to the American People where she puts today's news into the greater American history without swearing or becoming agitated. 

There is also the WTFJHT email newsletter that comes out four times a week (less if there are holidays). Matt puts the news of the day into a giant sentence, and breaks the parts down into talking points. As with HCR, his site has links to the articles supporting what he is saying.

For levity I follow Thoughts from Aisle 4 (both on FB and Substack). Marlene started out as a Jewish mom blogger who has become a political humorist.

If you are looking for an easy way to get politically active, download the 5 Calls app which spells out what the leaders are debating and voting on, provides a script, and link to make calling super easy.

Taking a stand on Social Media makes a difference, too, though that might make some enemies. Decide which side of history you want to be on in the end. Personally I want to fight while I still can, before the changes have taken place and it becomes that much harder to change.

I can't promise doing any of these will help, but doing nothing definitely won't help change the course of history.

Lawrenceville's First Pride Fest

Yesterday Janie and some others organized our town's first ever PrideFEST. The event started with a 5k "walk, run, or roll" race on one end of the Lawrence Shopping Center, and culminated in bands and tents with local organizations in the parking lot on the other end of the strip mall.

The organizers poured their hearts into the event, unfortunately despite the forecast calling for overcast skies, it poured. It rained during the set up time, and again after we left. After getting soaked the day before at the Pennington No Kings Protest, I was grateful to not get rained on.

Despite lots of publicity, the race was sparsely attended. I suspect the rain kept some people away. As far as races go, it was a very low tech, low stress, event. In the the lot where the former Huffman-Koos furniture store stood, we gathered in a giant circle and were led in stretches prior to the race. Then we lined up and the runners sent off at 8:25 am -- five minutes before the announced start time. Two giant "roosters" tried to join us in the run, but decided to stay back and became the official medal hand outers at the finish line. The walkers started a few minutes later.

The thirty or so runners ran single file on an uneven sidewalk for the first tenth of a mile while we waited for the policeman to stop traffic so we could cross Texas Avenue and run up and down Allen Lane.

The organizers kindly had two water stations (one used twice), and cute rainbow heart signs indicating how far we were on the course. The course measured about 2.8 miles (instead of 3.1), but as there were no bib numbers, and certainly no timing chips, it truly does not matter.

I ran my usual 3 minutes run: 1 minute walk pace, but at the halfway point stopped that and powerwalked to the end with Don. The time was too slow to admit to even to the few people who will see this.

I was following a mom with a couple of children until she spotted her family, took pictures of them, and decided "this is a nice turn around point." The next closest person looked very far away. I chatted with a 79-year old man dressed in grey who was out for his regular run. He lives just off the course and had no idea we were running that day. I guess word didn't get out as well as I thought it did. I saw posters throughout town and on Facebook.

We were surprised with medals at the finish line. The t-shirt does strategically does not have a date on it -- by ordering in bulk with money they collected this year, they can use the extras in future years. When we do the race next year, we'll wear the shirt this year as most participants did this year. I passed though fearing bad race mojo if I did. Guess it worked since I found 11 cents on the course.

We saw Angela setting up her hula hoops next to the stage where School of Rock was trying to set up for their set. The rain delayed them. Safety first, as always.

No Kings Day -- June 14, 2025

Upon hearing about the "No Kings" protests taking part around the country (around the world) on June 14, my mom told me she wanted me to take her to one to celebrate her birthday. There were several to choose from: Trenton across from the State House, Lambertville, Pennington by the Pennington Market, Princeton's Monument Park, or even farther afield in Asbury Park or Philadelphia. 

As this was mom's first protest, and violence has been rising since T illegally called in the National Guard to Los Angeles and the peaceful demonstrations started to turn violent. Dad was worried about mom's safety, and I was worried if she had a bad experience she wouldn't want to return. 

Not my picture

We brought dad's walker in case she got tired, but with the rain decided to keep it in the car. The event was scheduled from noon-1:30 pm along the sidewalk in front of the Pennington Market parking lot. What was not in the schedule was the massive downpour. Best estimates are one thousand people turned out to stand on the side walk and wave signs to the passing cars. No speakers were scheduled. No chants organized. Only a long line of people waving to passing cars.

Mom and I decided to walk the line and count the number of protesters. An astonishing challenging task even with people standing in a straight line that stretched south beyond the designated parking lot to the next property, and around the corner on the northern edge of the line. We each counted over 500 to the halfway point. 

I bumped into Heidi, who organized the first protest I attended in 2017, and Maggie, a friend from Lawrenceville who was attending with her daughter-in-law. I learned later through Facebook that other friends were in attendance. People tended to look alike when hiding under an umbrella and rain coat. I was surprised to bump into two friends.

Seen in line were parents taking their babies and toddlers to their first protest. People older than my mom standing aside people closer to my age. A gentleman in Revolutionary War attire and a woman dressed as a Handmaid extra from the famous miniseries. Most protesters are white. They came from towns surrounding Pennington (pop. 2,4000), as far as Jackson, NJ (about 50 minutes away) according to the MercerMe reporter.

The rain kept many signs at home, or in cars. Speaking of cars, the vast majority of those passing us (including semi trucks) beeped in support. I only saw two give us "the Jersey wave." It was the support of the truck drivers, a group I picture to be made up of mostly MAGA T supporters that pleasantly surprised me the most. Some passengers recorded us. Others showed us their signs from the warmth of their cars.
 

Earlier that day a protest took place in nearby Lambertville, NJ. They, also, had 1,000 protesters. Unlike Pennington, they coordinated displaying pieces of paper that on one side formed a giant "No Kings" sign, and on the other an enormous American Flag. They then had a drone fly overhead to better appreciate the joint effort. Their creativity made the 50501 newsletter that was sent out the next day.

Local press covered the event in Pennington.

Here is my panoramic picture taken as we left around the one hour mark with squishy shoes, mom's wet cell phone, and soaking wet jeans. Next time I protest in the rain I am wearing Wellingtons. 

After drying off, I headed into Princeton's Monument Park. Not ready to stand outside in the damp air (fortunately the rain had stopped), I went late. I thought I would be able to park on Library Place, but a quick glance down the street showed cars parked head to toe along both sides of the street. I ducked onto Lilac, only to see someone snag the last spot. A homeowner carrying a No Kings sign waved me into her spacious driveway. I graciously accepted.

Monument Park was PACKED! They had speakers lined up, including US Congresswoman Bonnie Watson Coleman, who in the end could not attend. A small portion of the group stayed closer to the street, waving their signs. With the rain on hold, people were more comfortable sharing their creative signs. One of the speakers said he estimates between three and five thousand people were in the park. 

As with the Pennington protest, there
were a few drivers flashing their middle fingers, but my negative takeaway from the event was the small subgroup of people with FREE PALESTINE banners and loud chants. Everyone is entitled to their own protests, but on this day on this spot was about current American politics.  Let the Free Palestine protesters organize their own event instead of coopting this one. 

As for the police, I heard one in Pennington tell us to get off the slippery grassy hill and stand on the sidewalk for our safety and witnessed another in Princeton stop traffic so pedestrians could safely cross the street. In other words, no signs of police brutality.

In the moment I did not bump into anyone I know. As with the Pennington event, I later learned I knew people there (no surprise there). The protest seemed to be breaking up early since some of the speakers were unable to attend. I returned to my car to free up the parking space for the homeowner and prepared myself for a large traffic jam. It wasn't that bad.

Reports are coming in that up to 13.14 million people protested in the United States. That is about the 3.5% historically it has taken to force changes within the government. Not factoring in that number are the people (like me) who attended more than one event that day. There were over 2,600 protests in the United States from enormous ones in Philadelphia and New York City, to smaller ones in traditionally Republican-held Southern towns. 

On a day that started with the news that two Minnesota lawmakers and their spouses were shot inside their homes by a man pretending to be a police officer, the day ended with peaceful gatherings.

Posters from Princeton, some covered in plastic for protection from droplets coming down from trees:

Not my picture, taken off FaceBook.
If I find the original source, will share here.

BAPS Revisted

Time really flies. Seven years ago Debbi and her mom, Pat, told me about the Hindu mandir located in Robbinsville, NJ. Called BAPS Shri Swaminarayan Akshardham, construction began in 2017 and was completed an astonishingly eight years later in 2023. When I visited the place was impressive. At the time they were saying it would be a few years, but in the end they planned a complex with a reflection pond and education buildings. I couldn't picture it. Then the pandemic hit and I thought for certain the plans would come to a halt, but in a later visit with my mom, I saw people (workers? volunteers?) repairing and building marble while wearing masks.

Today it is the largest Hindu mandir in the Western hemisphere, and the second largest in the world.

The building I saw in 2018

Back in 2018, the temple was covered by a pink warehouse-like wall. That space
is now the welcome center. A completely new temple has since been built.

It would be best to go on one of their free guided tours. I saw a group walking through the roped off areas to take shortcuts to see the highlights, and a woman explaining what they were looking at. Instead I followed the roped path, pausing to read the brief descriptions, and looked around the gleaming white marble sculptures. My goal was to see the place and take pictures of the grounds.

On the way out, I read over 12,500 volunteers worked to create this masterpiece. Four volunteers (all Americans) were highlighted as "typical" volunteers. I don't know if it is similar to the Ba'hai who are encouraged to take a pilgrimage to Haifa or Acre in Israel and do service, or if there is another means of recruiting volunteers. Perhaps if I return for a tour I will learn more about the people involved.

Leading up to the temple is a stepwell containing sanctified water from 300
sources, including 108 holy rivers in India (and good old Jersey rain) with a 49-foot statue of Nilkanth Vardi, the teenage form of Swaminarayan in front of it and the temple visible behind it. We were allowed to take pictures outside and many people were posing in front of her. I recognize the various yoga poses and imagine people posing in front of the statues in similar poses. 

There are plaques describing the seven year pilgrimage 11-year-old Swaminarayan took.

The original mandir (built between 2011-2014) is still on the property. There is also a welcome center with introduction movies, and lanterns evoking feelings of Diwali, and a research center. After leaving the temple there is a gift shop, restaurant, and a tiny food store. These I remembered from before.

If I didn't have photo proof of having been there before and written word in this blog, I would not have believed it. The place looks completely different. I found the archways leading to the temple mesmerizing. As I was thinking of taking a picture of them, I noticed a man at the far end standing in the dead center. As I neared him and saw his cameras, I realized we both had the same idea and laughed. He recommended visiting Princeton University to take pictures in their arches. Yup, a great place to take pictures.

Inside is overwhelming. On the surface it appears to be thousands of statues all carved in white marble. There are four large domes -- each over 55 feet tall and held up by pillars with four levels of statues. Each statue tells a story. One dome has zodiac symbols in a circle. Another has a lotus flower. There are carved peacocks, elephants, and people. 

There are thirteen sections dedicated to Hindu deities, including Bhagwam Swaminaryan's six successors, ending with 92-year old Mahant Swami Maharaj.

Things to know before your visit, free reservations are required for weekends and on their holidays. They can be made on their website. Reservations are not needed on weekdays. The mandir is open from 9 am - 7:30 pm every day except Tuesday. Based on how pristine everything is, I wonder if Tuesday is when they bring out the scaffolding to dust it all.

There is a dress code similar to what is required at other highly religious sites (including churches and mosques): no shoulders or knees allowed to be visible. Sarongs will be provided if you are dressed inappropriately.

The names are overwhelming to this Westerner. I try. Any mistakes are my own.

Some random pictures:

Another set of arches

Construction progress

A parting shot