Things that Unite Us

I feel like we are living in very divisive times. Times where no matter what I say, someone disagrees with me. I mean ADAMENTLY disagrees with me. The divisions make it hard to have a conversation with a new person. 

Here is my list of topics we can all agree on:

1) Dolly Parton was inspirational

2) Eclipses are cool

3) Betty White was sweet

4) We need to cocoon elderly icons, such as Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke so they can live longer

I'm not sure where to go with this list. We need to learn to listen to each other and have real conversations without screaming. 

It is hard.

While at a protest I spoke with a woman who shared a recent experience she had while traveling. She and her husband were overseas. They met another American couple about their age (I'm guessing in their 70s). The other couple was from Texas and the opposite of them politically. They had a debate. The other couple was willing to listen to views that were completely at odds with theirs. In the end, the Texas couple paid for the New Jersey couple's meal as they left. The staff commented they had never seen a dialogue like that and were in awe. I'm in awe each side could calmly share their views with the other. 

No matter where you stand on issues, I hope you can agree the nation is a mess. We need to come together to rebuild. It won't be quick, and it certainly won't be easy, but we owe it to ourselves to try.

Please list more uniting thoughts in the comments -- things we can all agree on.

Another Funeral

Why do funerals begin with the letters F-U-N? They are not fun. Yes, it is nice to see people we have not seen in years. Though seeing them is a reminder we need to get together under happier situations more often.

Frank brought us together. 

The priest reminded us a person dies twice. The first is when they leave their physical body. The second is the last time someone says their name.

Frank

Carina Hope

Peter

Xavier

Charlie

Children of friends who died much sooner than they should have. They leave behind giant holes.

The priest added we will all be changed by Frank's death. Maybe we'll take life a little slower. Maybe we'll push someone to vote (Frank was a Poli Sci student at our alma mater who wanted to become Chief of Staff). I know I've reminded people stressing about a typo or something trivial to put it in perspective. I try to say it gently. I'm sure one day I'll snap.

After the service a bunch of us gathered at a restaurant. I was at a table with Kappas Dave, Pete, Marc, and Steve, plus spouses Don, Tammy, and Michelle. Since graduating from college in 1992, I only remember seeing Dave and Pete each once, and I have never seen Steve and Tammy. I do keep in touch with Marc and Michelle. 

The people still married to their college sweethearts brought them to the funeral. The others didn't. I would have enjoyed meeting them.

Five founders, including me, Steve, Marc, Chris Smith, and Pete. Some Alphas, Betas, Gammas, Deltas, and Espilons. The largest gathering of Kappas (probably) ever. I was struck by how much we still looked like we did in 1992. I was also struck by how we fell into easy conversations. 

Politics were left off the table. I didn't want to know.

No old fights were brought up.

We learned about the time Steve was held up at gunpoint. He shared his story in such a practiced voice I suspect he has shared it over the years. Down to the teenage thieves stealing the beer along with his wallet and wedding ring. A call to the police quickly brought the SWAT team who was in training a couple of miles away. They caught the kids. Steve got everything back, except for two beers that broke during the chase.

Dave shared a little about his grandchildren. Sheesh! Grandchildren? 

Pete's daughter is at the college Ashley attended. She mentioned Ashley's name and it was recognized by an upper classman. It is sweet they remembered the college Ashley attended.

Marc and Michelle I keep in touch with more often, but they still shared some top secret news.

Many congratulations over Ashley and Anna's news.

It was nice to see everyone. It was an awful reason to gather.

Frank's parents, Darrel and Karin, lost their only child. They are at different stages of grief. I pray they don't lose each other, too. 

Wednesday night when we came home from North Jersey I had more thoughts. These are the ones that stayed with me.

Hug your children tighter. Take time to listen to them and be with them, especially when life feels too busy.