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Saturday, September 12, 2020

Six Months into the Pandemic

 For me the pandemic began six months ago on March 11, 2020. That was the day it was obvious we were going to have to postpone our gala and hunker down for a little while. I had no idea "a little while" would be six months and still no end in sight.

So much has changed. It is hard to remember life before the pandemic.

In no particular order the following aspects of life have not returned to the point where we can fully participate:

* Theater

Some theater groups are starting to explore doing outdoor performances. Indoor theaters are still closed in this area. Broadway is hoping to reopen in January 2021, but even that feels optimistic.

* Sports

Some Major League sports are having games in empty stadiums. We went to see "Toy Story" at Trenton Thunder's stadium. They could only sell tickets to 500 people. At $5 a ticket that doesn't pay to keep the lights turned on.

* Dining out

New Jersey was the last state to allow indoor dining, and that was at 25%. When we went to pick up take out from Tiger Noodles we saw one couple dining -- outside, no one was inside. I hope restaurants can survive.

* School

K-12 schools "reopened" this week. Lawrence Township Public Schools are 100% virtual. The Bridge Academy is about 90% in-person, but respectful of those who want to stay home and learn virtually. Saint Ann's is doing a hybrid model similar to Bridge. At the college level Muhlenberg has freshmen on campus, but many of their classes are online. 

* Hanging out with friends

Do you wear a mask or not wear a mask? Wearing a mask adds a barrier to holding a conversation, but not wearing one means you might end up with a deadly disease that you can pass along to others. We ate dinner with a friend yesterday -- he sat 12 feet away from us and we spent the meal shouting to each other. 

* Traveling

A quick google search shows our passport allows us to travel to 39 countries. Last year we could travel to 116 without a visa. Once you arrive in a country, you are still expected to quarantine for 14 days. We can't even travel to Canada.

* Church

We will continue to meet virtually. Some churches are meeting in person. Some are doing so outside -- but despite a glorious spring and summer, not many places took advantage of outdoor worship. Those meeting inside are limiting the number of people who can gather. WiNK will meet in person next weekend, but then move to the virtual world again. I'm not interested. I'm already worshiping globally online. I don't want to do the same with the church down the street from me.


My birthday was last week. Someone described it as my "Corona Birthday." May we each only have one -- even those with mid-March birthdays. At this point I don't see life returning to any semblance of the past until at least March. They hope is we have a vaccine by early 2021, but then the vaccine still needs to be accepted and distributed -- no easy task in the age of "fake news" and distrust of our leaders.

I'm still disappointed we did not get to celebrate Ashley's senior year, and will never be able to celebrate it. Does she care? I don't know. She won't tell me.

As of Thursday, there are no active cases of Coronavirus at Muhlenberg College. That is only because they run the school with a tight fist. No gatherings allowed. Only one person from your floor is allowed in your dorm room at a time. Most activities are virtual. The trade off to no cases is limited fun.

Does this bother Ashley? I don't know. She won't tell me.

I know she is making some friends because she tells me some names. I don't know anything about them, nor am I likely to learn about them. Is Greg a boyfriend or simply a boy who is a friend?

A friend from high school posted: What is our end game? That is the magic question. It can't be zero cases nationally because Polio still had 95 cases last year. It can't be a vaccine because too many people are stating they will not take a vaccine (including people who normally take vaccines). 

Was the goal to crush the entertainment, religious, restaurants, and sporting industries while making it nearly impossible to teach, because that seems to be what has happened.

I don't know how we will come out of this.

Monday, September 7, 2020

We Turned into THOSE Parents

Without trying to, we became THOSE parents, the kind that buys a non-family-friendly car the moment the child leaves for college. 

It actually started a year earlier when I bought a 2-door baby blue convertible tentatively named Veronica for my 50th birthday.

This was followed by Don purchasing a royal blue 2008 Honda Element last week. Though technically a 5-door car, the Element only has two doors that can be opened with handles leading to a passenger seat. To be fair, it does have a lot of storage space, making it the perfect car for moving someone in and out of college repeatedly.

The Element (tentatively called Ellie) came after Ruby the Honda CRV died as we pulled in front of our house after dropping Ashley off at college.

It took visiting Ashley at school for me to appreciate how there is no way we would have bought this car if we were still trying to get three of us places. It was annoying enough having to juggle to open the back door for the three four hours we were together. Laughably annoying. Perhaps that did not help the already tense visit.

Ellie was found on CarGurus.com. Unfortunately she was located in Virginia -- a state on New Jersey's travel ban list by about 10 miles. After trying to have them deliver the car for a fee) we realized it would be easier to drive to Sterling, Virginia to pick it up ourselves. So we drove 3.5 hours each way to pick up a car, only to then have to drive it 3.5 hours home. The entire transaction was conducted outside while wearing masks.

Don loves the new car. It can fit his bike inside without having to take off the front tire. It should also fit the tandem bike inside, though for that we will have to take off the front tire. It has lots of space, enough to fit an entire dorm room.

Sounds like we have empty-nester mentality.

I want a Birthday Do-Over

I was excited to be spending the day before my birthday with our daughter. I bundled the items she left behind when we hurriedly packed to send her off to college. Hurriedly because though we have known for years she was planning to go to college, with COVID, we didn't know if she was actually going to be in a dorm. It has been a roller coaster.

I asked if she preferred to go Saturday or Sunday. Sunday was Club Fair (done virtually) so we went with Saturday. I offered to let her bring a friend (she declined saying she wanted us to herself). 

I don't know what went wrong. Don and I took separate cars so we could leave one on campus (she was happy about that). We brought his new to him car so she could see it (she was less happy about that). 

Conversation was stilted. She insisted on wearing her mask the entire time because we haven't been together in two weeks (yes, she is right, but I still wanted to see her entire face). She yelled at us for being on campus (how were were supposed to get several piles of items to her? She never once offered to meet us a couple of blocks away and haul the stuff herself. Nor did she say "I don't really need sweatshirts," or the other items she requested.)

Questions were met with one word answers. I tried to think of creating open-ended questions, but I've never had to do that with her before.


We went for a walk in the rose garden near her school. We took her grocery shopping (though now that she has a car on campus, it was an unnecessary errand). We took her out to a nice dinner (she kept the mask on to sip her water, but did take it off to eat). 

She had plans with friends at 8. By 7 we dropped her off at her dorm (at least we didn't make her walk home from the restaurant). We plan to see her again in a couple of weeks when her laptop FINALLY arrives, but might just drop it off and enjoy dinner without her.


When Don and I were driving home I complained that didn't go well. I wanted a do-over. I didn't have a plan for a do-over, just that I was feeling disappointed. In the morning we talked through ideas and settled on going into NYC. The weather was perfect, but we didn't have any idea of what to do -- which is often a recipe for disaster.

We drove into NYC (not ready for mass transit, plus street parking is free on Sundays). We headed to the High Line, only to discover you can only enter between noon and 8 with a free timed ticket. It was 11:15 and all the timed tickets were claimed for the day.

Now what?

We headed to Greenwich Village -- a place we have never walked around. Our trips to NYC usually include seeing a Broadway show, or at least walking around Central Park. Mind you, we parked at Broadway and 40th, so we did a lot of walking.

I wanted a nice lunch for my birthday. Instead I had an amazing lunch at Pastis in the Meat Packing District. I was attracted to Pastis over the other restaurants because their huge outdoor dining area was packed. I ha no idea what type of food they served. I knew it would be expensive (it is NYC). Looking at the menu I was in love -- Pastis is a French restaurant. I immediately drooled over the quiche. I encouraged Don to have the Croque Monsieur (grilled ham and cheese) both were served with a small salad (and not pomme frites). We dined outside (as is the only way to dine in NYC these days). Joseph, our masked waiter, made it easy to forget we were living in a pandemic. He was charming and never rushed us. The food was heavenly. It was the lightest, fluffiest quiche I have ever eaten. I told Don this is a meal I will remember for years.

We walked around a little longer before heading home to hear the carillon at The Lawrenceville School. As students are returning this week, and the campus wants to quarantine, this will likely be our last visit for a while. A little birdie told Nina, the woman who plays the carillon, that it was my birthday. She played "Happy Birthday" for me as a treat. It certainly made me smile. 

My parents invited us over for dinner, which was also lovely. There is always the "masks on, masks off" debate, especially hearing stories of how the virus is mostly spread among family members and close friends deemed "safe." It is a tough call we face every day -- it is easier to hear without masks, it is also easier to read facial expressions. As we were meeting for dinner, we had them on part of the time and off part of the time.

In the end, it turned out to be a lovely birthday.

Someone wished me a happy Corona Year Birthday. Hopefully we'll all only have one Corona impacted birthday. As we are nearly six months into the struggle (in my world it started on March 11th as I postponed the gala eight months), I wonder when it will end.