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Saturday, September 5, 2026

Things that Unite Us

I feel like we are living in very divisive times. Times where no matter what I say, someone disagrees with me. I mean ADAMENTLY disagrees with me. The divisions make it hard to have a conversation with a new person. 

Here is my list of topics we can all agree on:

1) Dolly Parton was inspirational

2) Eclipses are cool

3) Betty White was sweet

4) We need to cocoon elderly icons, such as Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke so they can live longer

I'm not sure where to go with this list. We need to learn to listen to each other and have real conversations without screaming. 

It is hard.

While at a protest I spoke with a woman who shared a recent experience she had while traveling. She and her husband were overseas. They met another American couple about their age (I'm guessing in their 70s). The other couple was from Texas and the opposite of them politically. They had a debate. The other couple was willing to listen to views that were completely at odds with theirs. In the end, the Texas couple paid for the New Jersey couple's meal as they left. The staff commented they had never seen a dialogue like that and were in awe. I'm in awe each side could calmly share their views with the other. 

No matter where you stand on issues, I hope you can agree the nation is a mess. We need to come together to rebuild. It won't be quick, and it certainly won't be easy, but we owe it to ourselves to try.

Please list more uniting thoughts in the comments -- things we can all agree on.

Thursday, September 3, 2026

Paramus Disney Store

Back in May Debbi told us Paramus would be getting a Disney Store. After college in early 1990's, Debbi worked for the Quaker Bridge Disney Store. She worked at Walt Disney World, too. Her favorite character is Figment.

The announcement about the Paramus store opening in the fall added that a store would be opening in Pittsburgh in May. Though we would be in Pittsburgh in May, we were leaving the day before the store opened. We did drive to the mall to see the outside for ourselves. 

There weren't any holes giving us a glimpse at the magic. The CBS news story said a child would be chosen to put the key in to unlock the the magic at 10 am. They also said there will be QR codes to book a time to enter the store. I'm happy to say the Paramus store did not involve that hoop for entering.

Fast forward to the fall. I learned the Paramus Disney Store would be opening on September 3. I read it would only be open for three weeks. Not sure where I read that, since other reports said it would be open through the holiday season, which makes much more sense. On our drive north, Debbi said the store won't open until 4 pm, or about 15 minutes after Mapquest said we would arrive.

The Paramus store is located inside Garden State Plaza, a far larger mall than the Ross Park Mall on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. I didn't give this plan much thought. After going to Frank's funeral the night before, seeing Don's busy work schedule, and knowing I potentially have jury duty the following week, I just made plans to drive up after having brunch with a different friend. Nothing like cramming too much into a day.

Debbi and Don were good sports about the drive. They also graciously accepted I was too tired for much more than driving to Paramus and back.

The wait was long and not well organized. In front of the store was a grid designed to resemble a theme park switchback line. The lines were too tight and narrow for strollers, and too flat to keep us from simply moving forward. Unnumbered blue wrist bracelets were handed out to prove you were in line. The line stretched past Macy's. I felt they were unprepared for the crowd since the line ended at Macy's, where two more lines formed to join the back of the official line. Perhaps we should have been given different colored wrist wraps, or something with numbers on them. 

We gave up on the chaos and merged into a hole in the official line while the cast member kept shrugging and saying "what do you expect me to do, I'm all alone." He had mall security with him to figure out the best way to organize a line. Finally they moved the line up to the second level and had it continue so they were not blocking the entrance to stores. I'll assume the line will not be this long again, though the Paramus malls did get super crowded in the holiday seasons of my youth.

While the grand opening ceremony was taking place, Debbi and I stood across the hall to watch. I did not notice a child with a large key, but other bloggers captured the moment a mini-Sleeping Beauty opened the store. Evidently, a child will be given this task every day. I'm glad to be past that stage in life where I drive my child to the mall in the hopes she is chosen.

Opening took place a few minutes after four. They kept the line moving fairly quickly. The line for the register also grew pretty quickly.

Now for the store. This write up from Disney Parks Blog is a lot more comprehensive and upbeat than I could ever be. We enjoyed the New Jersey theming attempts, even if we feel there is more to the Garden State than pizza and bagels. 

I did not appreciate the limited edition merchandise that was unveiled at D23. Evidently that and the Halloween merchandise were hot stuff. 



I saw the New Jersey themed t-shirts ($29.99) and flat tote bag ($24.99) and left them behind. The quality did not justify the prices. The Alice in Wonderland merchandise was harder to resist, but I did. The three of us, who 15 years ago I would have described as diehard Disney fans, all left empty-handed and a little sad. We were glad to see the store, but missed plush mountain and the Disney stores of the 1990s and early 2000s. According to this blog there are still 20 stores in the United States, mostly outlet stores, including one in Elizabeth, NJ at the Jersey Fresh Outlets. I thought all but the flagship location in New York City were closed.

We left happy that we made the trip. In true Disney fashion, as we waited Cast Members tried to make the line experience fun. They handed out green headbands with eyes on them from a movie I did not recognize, postcards, and Celebrating stickers. I was happy with the postcard. 

The spin through the store was a brief step back in time. That said, none of us plan on returning.













Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Another Funeral

Why do funerals begin with the letters F-U-N? They are not fun. Yes, it is nice to see people we have not seen in years. Though seeing them is a reminder we need to get together under happier situations more often.

Frank brought us together. 

The priest reminded us a person dies twice. The first is when they leave their physical body. The second is the last time someone says their name.

Frank

Carina Hope

Peter

Xavier

Charlie

Children of friends who died much sooner than they should have. They leave behind giant holes.

The priest added we will all be changed by Frank's death. Maybe we'll take life a little slower. Maybe we'll push someone to vote (Frank was a Poli Sci student at our alma mater who wanted to become Chief of Staff). I know I've reminded people stressing about a typo or something trivial to put it in perspective. I try to say it gently. I'm sure one day I'll snap.

After the service a bunch of us gathered at a restaurant. I was at a table with Kappas Dave, Pete, Marc, and Steve, plus spouses Don, Tammy, and Michelle. Since graduating from college in 1992, I only remember seeing Dave and Pete each once, and I have never seen Steve and Tammy. I do keep in touch with Marc and Michelle. 

The people still married to their college sweethearts brought them to the funeral. The others didn't. I would have enjoyed meeting them.

Five founders, including me, Steve, Marc, Chris Smith, and Pete. Some Alphas, Betas, Gammas, Deltas, and Espilons. The largest gathering of Kappas (probably) ever. I was struck by how much we still looked like we did in 1992. I was also struck by how we fell into easy conversations. 

Politics were left off the table. I didn't want to know.

No old fights were brought up.

We learned about the time Steve was held up at gunpoint. He shared his story in such a practiced voice I suspect he has shared it over the years. Down to the teenage thieves stealing the beer along with his wallet and wedding ring. A call to the police quickly brought the SWAT team who was in training a couple of miles away. They caught the kids. Steve got everything back, except for two beers that broke during the chase.

Dave shared a little about his grandchildren. Sheesh! Grandchildren? 

Pete's daughter is at the college Ashley attended. She mentioned Ashley's name and it was recognized by an upper classman. It is sweet they remembered the college Ashley attended.

Marc and Michelle I keep in touch with more often, but they still shared some top secret news.

Many congratulations over Ashley and Anna's news.

It was nice to see everyone. It was an awful reason to gather.

Frank's parents, Darrel and Karin, lost their only child. They are at different stages of grief. I pray they don't lose each other, too. 

Wednesday night when we came home from North Jersey I had more thoughts. These are the ones that stayed with me.

Hug your children tighter. Take time to listen to them and be with them, especially when life feels too busy.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Honoring Dolly Parton

I recently saw a meme that said: In a world of Donalds, be a Dolly.

It seems the world has lit up in pink and purple in honor of Dolly Parton. First it was the Empire State Building, then I noticed more places.

I had heard the Delaware River bridges were going to light up on Friday and Saturday night in honor of Dolly. As I was driving home from the Thunder game on Friday night, I could see the lights on the Trenton Makes bridge. It was stunning. I could not figure out where to stand to get the shot. I wasn't about to park on the Route 1 Bridge, which does have a fabulous vantage. 

After driving around for about a half an hour I gave up and went home. My consolation prize was seeing town hall decked out in pink.


The next night I had the chance to try again. Don suggested photographing it from the Pennsylvania side, so I drove across the bridge.



Not quite the image I was looking for, bet better than nothing.

When I woke up I saw a professional photographer posted his picture. 


I'm challenging myself to figure out where he took that picture so the next time it is lit up I can take my own. Thanks for sharing Josh Friedman.

Friday, August 28, 2026

End of the Baseball Season

As soon as I was falling into the groove of going to Thunder games, the season was over.

I did go to the second game of the season, and a couple of games here and there when Debbi and Mike's son's team was in town, but it took going on a rainy night when the season was almost over before I fell in love with going again. 

Last week Debbi handed me a couple of
free passes, and even a parking pass. How could I not go? I did try to get a friend to go with me, but I didn't try that hard. I love sitting in Carmine's section, up close, with my feet propped up on the Thunder dugout listening to season ticket holders and their friends as I have an unobstructed view. Yes, I keep the seats of season ticket holders warm. If those seats became truly available, I'd be encouraged to spend my summer legitimately in those seats. They feel magical. 

I went to Thursday's game. Despite the near certainty the game would be called on account of rain, I went early to collect a pink Thunder shirt. I don't really need more t-shirts, but this one caught my eye. I sat in my car until the game was called.

The next night, the second to the last of the season, was fun. In the eighth inning kids a couple of sections away tried hard to get the 2,000 of us still there to do the wave. After a half dozen attempts, they were successful. I cheered louder for them then I did for the players.

I applaud the players for sticking with the dream, but I am tired of the Draft League. The first half of our too short season is made up of college players trying to get extra experience. Around the Fourth of July is the All-Star Game. Some are drafted to the majors, the rest return to college for fall training. The team then becomes filled with recent college graduates not willing to give up on their dreams. They are all about 22-26 years old. As they are drafted they go to their new teams, and we are happy for them.

The real result is, it is hard to build excitement about getting to know the players. They are not here long enough. When they leave, it is not up to the same team as had happened when they were a AA team, but to a wide variety of teams.

At the game I noticed the pitcher, Billy Morris was also batting as the Designated Hitter, which is uncommon in our ballpark. In the past we were with National League teams. Up until 2022, in the American League the pitcher also batted, but that is the year they instituted the Designated Hitter Rule. When I asked a season  ticket holder why he was batting, he commented he is just that good. In the lead up to that game, he was 10 for 19, which is much higher than most batters. He also didn't let any opposing runners score that night.

For the past few years we've left the season hoping for an announcement that we'll gain a AA team again. Heck, at this point we'll take a single-A team. I have noticed the staff is less inclined to say there will be an announcement soon. I suspect they, too, have grown tired of being met with eye rolls when they make those proclamations.

Meanwhile, people sign up for season tickets and leave their seats empty. 

I yearn for returning on a cold day in April and watch the new season unfold as I sip a cup of hot chocolate, and keep score with my eyes glued to the game and oblivious to the lines at the concession stand.

Fortunately, Boomer and the bat dogs remain a constant.




Saturday, August 22, 2026

Conversations and Book Signing with Dr. Eddie S. Glaude, Jr.

Less than a week before Princeton University professor Dr. Eddie S. Glaude, Jr. was scheduled to speak at my church I heard in passing he was going to give a presentation about his new book America, USA: how race shadows the nation's anniversaries. I was more than a little surprised how it nearly flew under my radar and feared the event would not receive as much attention as it deserved. At the very least, it should have appeared in our church's newsletter, and in the eBlast for The Community Well, a non-profit that exists without our church and one of the sponsors of the event.

I'm pleased to say in that short time word got out and he spoke to a Standing Room Only audience. 

Dr. Glaude is an excellent speaker. He spent the hour mesmerizing me with the connections he made throughout history to drive home the main message of how American tends to whitewash our history, especially as we draw closer to our anniversary years. Our 250th was the rule, not the exception.

"We are an adolescent nation that doesn't want to grow up. We need our innocence so we can't accept our faults," states Glaude. There is always a veil between the white side of town and the black side of town. 

"American has a divided soul. We are a beacon of freedom and a white republic. We are the shining city on the hill [and we have] compromises around [being] a slaveholding nation. Our citizenship is tethered to our whiteness." Hopefully my quotes are correct. The brackets indicate words I did not write in my notes. Misquotes are entirely my fault.

Listening and learning from him I want to learn more. I want to better understand.

Glaude spoke about Moses Gordon. The link is to an article Glaude published on Memorial Day 2026 about Gordon. He was a slave being held by Caleb Trueblood, a Quaker. Three months after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Skinner freed him. Two years later he was captured because North Carolina law would not allow manumission, unless the slave had fought in the Revolutionary War. He became the property of Brigadier General William Skinner. He escaped to Philadelphia where he lived for ten years.  He was captured under the Fugitive Slave Clause of 1793 and reenslaved to General Skinner who thought he was a thief for the act of "stealing himself." The law was later rescinded and the transatlantic slave trade was ended.

I was enthralled listening to him speak. This is history I have never heard before. From the sounds of the ethnically diverse audience, others were all too familiar with Gordon's life. It echoes their own family histories in ways as a white American I don't understand in my marrow.

Glaude ways he doesn't love America, but he also does not hate it. His father was the second African American hired by the postal service in Moss Point Mississippi. Through his prestigious job the family was able to move to the "other side" of town. He recalls playing with a new friend, a white, red-headed child when the boy's father came home and told his son not to play with "n word." His grandmother is buried in Moss Point, MS. It is part of his history, too.

Whites have the expectation of the "happy slave" so we can avoid the cruelty of slavery. It was cruel.

The interviewer, whose name I did not catch, grew up in Trenton. She attended the Afrikan Peoples Action School, "a place that reminded me my Blackness is an asset that intimidates people. I have ownership of this place." I have never heard of this school located a few miles away from me. Searching google, it seems it has since closed. How come I never knew it existed despite living in this area for over three decades and the interviewer was younger than me.

One hundred years ago Carter G. Woodson founded the first Negro History Week, what we think of as Black History Month today. Woodson was the second Black doctor at Harvard University. He wanted to make Black history seen. A battle still taking place a century later.

"We have always told our story," explained Glaude. "We work to fortify the spirits of our children."

On September 2nd he will be holding office hours live at 12:30 on his YouTube channel. He is encouraging everyone to read Souls of Black Folk by WEB Dubois available HERE for free via Project Gutenburg in preparation of this event. He also invited people to join his substack.

~~~

I took too long to write this post. The distance is making my notes make less sense. At the time I was riveted, so I'll include them here. Feel free to stop reading.

Brotherhood of the Sleeper Car Porters was founded in 1925 by A. Philip Randolph as the first African American Union. Glaude brought up Randolph's name a number of times. He is a gentleman I am not familiar with, but based on what I learned that afternoon, I should be as he was a leading labor leader and social activist of the early 20th century.

My notes then say: co author of The Messenger, founding of colored women, NAACP, Harlem Renaissance, Marcus Garvey, Cold War redacts Blacks in global sense, leftist socialist era, Paul Robeson era, Council of African Affairs, connection to African diaspera, 1950's Ghana established as an independent country. 

See, my notes are a mess!

Randoph founded the March on Washington Movement to push FDR to desegregate the military. "Read the book, get the information, do knowledge, share knowledge," charged Glaude. We were encouraged to watch his interviews on YouTube.

Snuck into the conversation is that he actually lives in town. He is hyperlocal, and internationally known.

"What can we do as neighbors?" asked a member of the audience. "Because I run my mouth for a living, people think we have the answers," quipped Glaude. He pointed us to Lawrence Neighbors Together Community, one of the co-sponsors of the event. Understand the definition of justice without exception. People get redacted from the question. What are the most pressing issues? Then go after the resources in direct ways. We think politicians can solve the problems, they can't. Identify the most important issues.

The interviewer said she is a fifth generation Lawrentian. She encouraged us to make sure our children see us reading so they are encouraged to read. Get involved with Lawrence Community Center so they can receive grants to get running and functioning. Join Marth Friend's anti-racism book club.

On a higher level, Glaude suggested someone create an app to get children to learn African American History. "They are not lacking, but we need to rewire ourselves to teach them. I have to retool if I'm going to reach the next generation." 

Congresswoman Sydney Kalmager-Dove has a plainspeaking YouTube channel Is This Sh*t Legal we were encouraged to listen to.

A sentiment I have heard from other minorities, "I don't want to answer stupid questions." I can't remember who said it, but it bears repeating. The goal is to create a world where people have to be better or not. We need to use our energies to build a world where people like Tr*mp cannot exist without sanctions. Create a world where people have to make a choice.

Racial justice is not a philanthropic enterprise. It is not a charitable gesture. That thinking only repeats the sin. 

Sit with literature by authors such as Toni Morisson's Belevoved and Jesmyn Ward. It is not a guarantee your heart will be filled with justice, but it is a start.

Another question from the audience: "How do you feel we should have done differently after the Civil War?" Glaude pointed out we had radical reconstruction and and extraordinary expectation to transform the nation. The 13th, 14th, and 15th amendments were passed. Blacks were given the reigns of power until whites claimed they overreached. "The answer was there, but the country betrayed it. From that moment, race has been the center of politics."

Glaube has been interviewed by CNN. He commented "my mom is always watching and she knows if I am lying. She tells him 'people love you because you tell the truth. Try to be consistent.'" 

People tell him "this isn't America," to which he had a very succinct timeline reflecting the answer that yes, it is. "How many times are you going to say that?" 

James Baldwin said "the devil is not some aberration, all we need to do is look in the mirror and we might find him. Humans are capable of extreme evil, and are walking miracles."

There is still hope.

The next day he was slated to be on a panel at Newark's Bethany Baptist Church's Courageous Conversations about the role of the church in our 250th years. Once a month they sit together in worship and people talk about what matters to each other.

To find hope he teaches a course on Baldwin each spring semester. "Love shines through. Hatred must never have the last word." As one of his students wrote in her paper, which he was granted permission to use in his book, "Hope is our insistence to tell the truth." 

Go and feel inspired.

Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Quick Pictures that Tell Stories About Life

The day Dad passed away I came home to this:


Don said it was thriving that morning when he went to the hospital to see Dad.

While in Gatineau, QC I came across this sign about the artist:


Both the same death date and same funeral date (10 days later) as Dad.

Then Friday I encountered this at the end of my walk in the woods:


I got through and around the tree. I think the message was life is not always going to be easy, but you'll get through it.