A Tale of Volunteering at Two Events

I was recently given comp tickets to two events in exchange for helping out. I gratefully accepted since I enjoy attending events more as a worker bee than as an attendee. As I explained to someone recently, I like to be helpful. Even without the comp ticket, I'll be figuring out ways to help.

The first event was a meet and greet with author Susan Choi. The poised author graciously read excepts from her newest novel, Flashlight, which has been shortlisted for the Booker Award. The event was held in the elegant Erdman Center at the Princeton Theological Seminary. With its high ceiling, arch between rooms, parquet floors, and enormous 18-panel windows painted in what might be Benjamin Moore historic paint colors, I felt transformed just stepping into the room. It is a sharp contrast to its modern brick exterior. 

Photo credit: Tim Sexton

The event was lovely. I wish I had asked for a guest list ahead of time so I would
have been more prepared at check in. I would have noted the names of the board members, for instance. Guests were kind and patient and it went very smoothly.

Afterwards I was sent a lovely thank you note from Debbie, the organizer, praising me for my help. She said every time she looked over at me she saw me smiling and knew I had everything under control. This allowed her to relax, not worry, and focus on the event. I am paraphrasing, but that is perhaps the best compliment I have ever received. She also gave me a copy of the book and made sure I had it autographed, and also encouraged me to have a good time. I was to also feel like a guest. 

This weekend I was asked at the last minute to step in as the second in command at the gala I used to organize. I had already been asked to sell raffle tickets at the event, but now I was being asked to run check in, check out, be the banker, and help in all ways possible. 

Of course I said yes and smiled my way through the event, even as I learned new software and procedures on the fly. Wearing high heels, stockings, and a brown dress I wore to my first board meeting with this organization I slipped into the role as comfortably as if I was wearing my usual leggings, wool& dress, and ballet slippers. Though in a new venue, I felt at home as I greeted guests I have not seen since I left the organization. I made small talk as I looked them up and navigated the many screens necessary to assign bidding paddles. As someone else said, I was the only person who could have slipped into that role at the last minute.

An hour into the event, I tidied up and slipped away from the registration table to eat dinner and listen to speeches. I recharged in the "bridal suite" while bidding took place. Then I jumped back into action as people gathered their winnings, all while smiling and making small talk. I was handed a lot of cash throughout the evening and no paperwork to balance the amounts. I put the bills in the proper banking order and zipped them into the official envelope. 

Before leaving I did a sweep of the ball room scooping up bid paddles to use next year, and the flash drive in the laptop that belongs to the venue. After I left the room, someone else did the same as a sanity check.

I limped out of there (why, oh why did I wear new shoes to this event -- oh, because they matched the dress) shaking my head all the way to my car. The next day I made notes, then followed up with someone at the non-profit. 

A few days later and there is no thank you text or email from the person in charge of the event. Considering she did not ask me to fill in, I shouldn't be surprised she has not found time to reach out to me for saving the event. She might not even realize how much I did. Others have, including people who never told me I did a great job when it was me in charge. Still good to hear years later.

I am purposely leaving the names of the organizations off so a Google search does not flag these when people are searching for information about them. While the one is glowing, the other is less than. 

I thoroughly enjoyed both experiences for different reasons. I like being the person who is solving problems behind the scenes so attendees and organizers feel the event runs smoothly. 

There is a part of me who would love to be paid to be the onsite event trouble shooter. On the other hand, I wouldn't want to do that so often it becomes stale or I become blasé. I want to continue to only wish success for the organization no matter how big a train wreck is happening. 

If you know anyone who needs this type of skill at an event, and is willing to pay me more than a comp ticket, reach out.

March Madness 2026

Back when Ashley was growing up and involved with school theater, we began referring to March as March Madness. Instead of following college basketball, we were trying to fit in as many plays, supporting as many friends and family, as possible in only four weekends. There were times it felt as if we were playing Jenga.

We see plays and musicals throughout the year. I've taken to ushering and writing theater reviews to support my desire to see more shows. I estimate that I see about 50 shows a year -- at least one each weekend. 

This year March Madness started a few days earlier with South Hunterdon High School's production of "Into the Woods." We've grown from supporting the students, to supporting the staff. Both Ashley and Anna were involved with the show as set and lighting designer (Ashley) and costumes (Anna). They team up again in April for the middle school production of 13. 

The next day I saw Rider's production of "From Up Here" even though I knew no one involved with the show. They put on great shows that are priced reasonably, and are only a five-minute drive from home. All wins.

That Saturday I saw my brother-in-law, Chris, perform in the pit orchestra of Princeton Day School's production of "Mean Girls." I went with my parents.

I slowed down after that first weekend.

On March 6th Don and I saw Elizabeth in "Bright Star" with the North Brunswick Players at North Brunswick Middle School. About a week before the show they had to shift from performing at the high school. This meant a major change in every technical aspect from staging to lights to sound even to where to do costume changes. They handled it with much grace.

The next day I heard Susan Choi speak about her book "Flashlight." While not theater per se, it was still a live performance. 

March 11th Don and I traveled to the Delaware Theater Company in Newark, DE to see the US-debut of "Glory Ride," a show about the Italian Tour de France winner Gino Bartali who worked for the Resistance during WWII hiding documents in his bicycle tubes and hiding people in his home. 

On March 13th I saw my niece, Aimee, perform as a Conquistador at Lawrence High School's production of "Addams Family." It is hard to believe we only have one more year of knowing someone on that stage.

The next day I ushered at Somerset Valley's Production of the Neil Simon play "Come Blow Your Horn." My friend, Roberta, was in the production, but unfortunately her very memorable role did not appear until the last few minutes of the show.

I did not go to any shows the last two weekends in March. I had some opportunities, including seeing Chris in the "Wizard of Oz" pit orchestra in Rancocas, but other activities filled the calendar. I do have tickets to see shows the next couple of weekends. 

With only seeing seven shows this March, I feel as if I was slacking.

Let me know if you are performing locally and I'll support you, too.

Trenton Walks: South Trenton Revedelopment

Today marked Trenton Walks' 68th walk. To date they have 845 participants covering 1697 miles -- enough to have walked from Trenton to Key West, and then from Trenton to Bangor, Maine. Today's walk will add 2.1 miles to that distance. Becky and Tim started these walks with the goal of learning more about where we live, and meet more people.

Today we were led by County Executive Dan Benson, a man I've heard about, and voted for, but had not met until that day. He is younger and more energetic than I expected. His experience as the former chair of the law and public safety committee, and current chair of the transportation committee, was put to use as he made sure we all crossed roads safely. I'm used to people who lead talks stay at the front answering questions and guiding to the next stop, and people like me sticking around in the back making sure we stayed together and that no one was hit by a car. I was impressed with his ability to do both, and do both well. He waited until we all gathered round before continuing his talk. As I tend to lag taking pictures after people walk out of my way, it kept me moving along with crowd and I got to hear everything.

We started at his office building located at 640 South Broad Street, across the street from a huge parking lot that was mostly empty on that Sunday afternoon. 

The main focus of our two-hour trip was to learn about the South Broad Street Streetscape Improvements Project set to start officially in 2027, but might start unofficially as early as this summer. The project ties together twenty individual projects. The county is spending a lot of time working with the stakeholders to make sure every part has buy in. As businesses open, they want the businesses to have sidewalks that are in working order. As a two-way cycle lanes are going in, which will take away street parking spaces, they want to make sure other parking is available. The last time a large scale improvement happened to this area was in the 1980s, when Dan was a student at Holy Cross, which we passed on our tour. This project is personal.

Included in the plan is purchasing "nuisance properties." Dan emphasized several times they are only interested in properties that are abandoned, they do not want to kick people out of homes they love. Okay, that was a paraphrase, but it is the impression I had.

Though a little warmer than the day before, and sunny, it was still a little brisker than the 70 degree day we last Thursday. This Spring the weather has been all over the place, which I suppose is typical for New Jersey.

Dan casually tossed out that the west wing of the Mercer County Improvement Authority building was former a Roebling home. The Roebling family were the early 20th century employers and leaders of Trenton. They are most famous for creating the Roebling wire that was used to build the Brooklyn Bridge and other icons. Everyone on the tour knew exactly who he was talking about. It warms my heart to know a piece of history was saved and treasured and not just torn down because it was where they wanted to build.

Dan described the footprint of the project with his office in the knot. In one direction, it goes to the Cure Arena, including the historic Eagle Tavern and Griffin Electric buildings, and in the other direction to Cass Street and the area with Holy Cross. I took a lot of pictures, but only wrote four pages of notes.

As we walked towards the arena we passed the former police station. Dan explained it was built when the police used horses. It is not currently being used and the county is in talks to acquire it. As I stood there looking at the building I imagined it as the future home of the historical society. With convenient parking across the street at the arena it has a lot of potential. It could be a gem.

On the corner is what I think of as the flatiron Griffith Building, as in Griffith Electric. Dan told us in 1872 it was the sales office for the Oyster Cracker Company. The county is in talks to purchase it and use it, perhaps as a restaurant. 

One of the redevelopment goals is to
make sure every parking lot has dual purposes. He pointed to the empty parking lot by the Cure Arena and said he hopes to turn this into a Farmers Market that would attract people from the suburbs into Trenton.

In front of this modern building is an obelisk stone post marking the trail George Washington took during the Revolutionary War with his troops. There are about a dozen of them in Mercer County. One was pointed out to my group on a tour around Port Mercer last Spring. They are easy to ignore, but once they are pointed out to you, you begin to notice the other ones.

We arrived across the street from the historic Old Eagle Tavern. One of the saddest projects in Trenton. It was closed in the 1990s after it was turned into a restaurant in the 1980s. I could overhear people reminiscing about being inside it before it shut down. It has been on the Preservation New Jersey's top ten list of most endangered buildings. Last week the front porch started bowing. A $3.5 million dollar grant has been procured to start the project. At this point, though, it will cost a lot more than that to renovate properly. 

After that sad note, Dan focused on some successes. The block that includes the Trenton Social Club has night clubs, an Hispanic radio station, and office space. Almost every part of the building is leased except for a music performance space that shares a liquor license with Trenton Social. 

We cut through the arena parking lot that is used for jury parking. New Jersey Realtors is a redevelopment project that resides here. Further down the street is the Van Sciver Building. The medieval façade is a Trenton landmark, and will be kept. Though it looks like a church, it was the home of Van Scriver Furniture. The plans are to turn it into a mixed use building, including housing. We did not walk down that far.

Another success are the Roebling Lofts. The converted Roebling factory building is now a LEED certified apartment building that is filled. It is located across the street from a strip mall that is anchored by the Food Bazaar grocery store, a late 1990's redevelopment project. Trenton has the infrastructure in place for an additional 20,000 residents. After the plan, they could have 50,000 more people. Trenton currently has a population of 90,000 people.

Across the street is what is referred to as the smokestack property. The plan envisions creating a plaza. Roebling two was scheduled to take place, but the funding fell through. It actually felt good to have some reality included in our walk. Life is not perfect.

We cut between the Roebling Market and the Roebling Building on a hardscaped area officially called Millyard Park. I like the area. Though it was empty that afternoon, I could picture the space filled with street musicians, children running around, maybe even some skateboarding taking place on the cobblestones. Filled with benches, and next to the market, it has potential to enjoy a snack outside on a nice day. 

The Roebling Building next to it feels to me to be one of the most frustrating
projects in Trenton. It has so much potential! Until just before the pandemic it was only used a few days a year to house Art All Night, a 24-hour art festival that has since moved to the War Memorial. It used to be the home of the Trenton Circus Squad. Dan said it will receive a new roof and windows this year. The hope is it becomes a civic space hosting multiple events every year. 

We are back to the knot in the bowtie as we are facing the back of Dan's office
building. He pointed to an empty lot he plans to turn into a new park, raised to the level of where we are standing so cars don't run into it. A real park that will be maintained and not simply an empty lot.

We walked up South Broad towards Cass Street to finish our tour. It is an immigrant neighborhood with people hailing from Guatemala, Venezuela, and Mexico. There are some new businesses emerging. Us old timers lamented the loss of Budny's Plumbing and Artifacts Gallery (which is now an online only business), but are happy to see businesses taking their places. There are still some empty storefronts, which hopefully will change. 

At the turning point of our tour is the former senior center that is being rehabbed into a new senior center to be reopened using county money.

Across the street is a hole in the ground with sidewalks blocked off by ugly chain link fences. They are using eminent domain to take over the space and convert it into off-street parking to offset the space taken by the bicycle lanes. The end goal is that pedestrians and bicyclists will have priority over cars. I think they also recognize that if there is not enough off-street parking, people will not travel from the suburbs and support the businesses.  

We popped into Casa Cultura, which is housed in the former Polish Falcons building. Nothing so succinctly tells the story of the demographic changes that have happened to Trenton as that can do. Today the space is home to the cutest coffee shop (Trenton Roasters), a podcast studio and is the home of Latino Arts and Culture. They have a cozy space where they are conducting oral histories, a project that started when their director, Samuel, was working on a project through The College of New Jersey about Trenton's Hispanic population and found no resources. Now he is working to create them.

We said our goodbyes in the parking lot near our cars. Across Route 129 is the state prison. This parking lot is used as an overflow lot when Trenton Thunder has students taking school buses to the games (the drivers hang out here, not the students), so it serves a purpose from time to time. Mostly it is vacant. It is also deceptively large, as in several acres. I think I remember him saying it it eight acres, but by then I had put away my notebook. Certainly large enough for another housing project. One with parking (especially for those popular games). But something has to be done about the view of the prison. And people would need to feel safe. 

Between this, a presentation I recently heard about 120 East State Street (which I did not blog about because I did not take notes), seeing shows at Mill Hill Playhouse, and the Downtown Fit Running group I am feeling more connected to our capitol city. I want them to thrive. There is a lot of potential. They have been on the cusp for decades. May this be the time it truly happens.

"Useful Idiots"

I recently shared the above picture on my Facebook page and asked my friends why the phrase "Useful Idiots" after the message informing people about the No Kings rally that took place on March 28. 

The original message was written in clear teacher handwriting, even included a crossed out crown logo, using a couple of different colors. It was tight, neat, and informative. Below it in larger lighter letters was the phrase USEFUL IDIOTS. At first I saw USEFUL and thought "yay, someone is being encouraging. We need more of that." Then I saw "IDIOTS" and realized a MAGA supporter (yes, we have a few left in the center of New Jersey) and wondered, "Did the person just happen to have a piece of white chalk with them (oh, the symbolism of the original multi-colored factual message vs. the pure white insulting message is not lost on me)? Did they find it? Did they go home to get it after they saw the original message?"

The insult appears on about half of the eight original messages. The message about the rally appears at most park entrances so it is the first thing you see stepping into the park.

I asked my greater community about the meaning of the message, and they did not disappoint.

Pam said it is meant sarcastically as in "Useful (NOT!) Idiots"

Neil wrote: "It is a term from the cold war. It was used to refer to intellectuals (and others) in the west who supported Russia and believed, and repeated, their propaganda. It was attributed at the time to Lenin, but he never said it (and it's been traced back in the UK as far as 1864). TLDR, it means someone who is politically naïve who is easily manipulated while not having any idea of what is really going on."

Chuck retorted: "The irony of the MAGA crowd calling any group Useful Idiots is thick."

Diane added: "I've heard the phrase from a lot of Jewish friends. When there were a lot of the Palestinian protests going on in college campuses, especially some of the Queers for Palestine, etc., apparently Hamas and other organizations called them 'Useful Idiots.' The people protesting didn't even know the situation, but they were protesting not even understanding the phrases they were saying, but were on the Palestinian side--thus useful idiots."

Hln replied to Diane: "Yes, that is commonly used, in large part because current iterations of anti-Semitism / anti-Israel activity (particularly in academia which trickles down to young people) have their roots in Soviet-era strategy (although as Jacquelyn's friend points out the term might actually be an older one). I personally don't use it because it is a bit of a lazy way to describe a serious problem."

~~~

I've known this for a while, but I have smart friends who can discuss tough topics with intelligence and kindness. The ones who can't behave that way on my page have been booted.

No Kings 3 Protest

A number of us are so ready to return to being able to disengage with the news because we know there are people in charge who have our best interest at heart. We might now always agree with how they go about accomplishing goals, nor should we, but we know they think about more than themselves.

Until that happens, I will continue to protest. I will continue to follow Heather Cox Richardson, Joanne Freeman, and Timothy Snyder. I will listen to NPR. I will keep up on the news and try to speak intelligently and passionately, while also staying calm and not yelling and screaming. Not always easy.

On Saturday I walked from my house to the closest protest site. It was nice to not have to struggle to find a parking spot. I also enjoyed walking down the line of protesters and recognizing people. As Joanne often says on her live streams, we are forming a community.

Stacy joined me for the walk. We could have parked closer, but walking feels good. Though it was 70 degrees on Thursday, by Saturday the weather in New Jersey reverted to winter with a high around 40, but wind chill making it feel below freezing. I wore flannel-lined jeans, a heavy coat, and scarf. To get in the spirit I wore my "Mad as a Box of Frogs" socks, and wrapped my hair in a bandana channeling the classic image of Rosie the Riveter. At the No Kings 2 protest in October I wore my Colonial Ball gown.

Meanwhile cousins in Colorado had sunny weather in the 70s and wore t-shirts and shorts. Go figure! Don reminded me of the Minneapolis protestors who stood in sub-zero temperatures for days and weeks on end this winter and encouraged me as he drove to work. At least it was sunny. At least I have the necessary clothes to wear in this weather. At least I am healthy enough to be out there.

I struggled with what to put on a sign. The signs that say "there is not enough cardboard to list everything" pretty much sums it up. I thought about "Pretti Good Reasons to Protest" in honor of Alex Pretti and Renee Good's murders. Then I was listening to Joanne's sign off. Be Strong and of Good Courage. It what Moses said to Joshua as he handed the reigns to him. Joanne, a Jew, says she uses it to honor her friend Richard who died a couple of years ago. Richard used to sign off their phone calls with "Be strong and of good courage." 

The message felt right. Favorite sign slogans I have seen since: "Send Barron First," and "Give the Finger if you Support MAGA" (since that's what they do anyway). 

Photo credit: Lawrence Community Activists

About 500 of us gathered on Route 206 as it crosses over I-95. We stretched on the northbound side of the road to the municipal building, where were urged to park. As Stacy and I left I noticed a smaller group of about a dozen at the intersection of Route 206 and Pennington-Lawrenceville Road.

Stacy and I arrived about 10 minutes before the official 2 pm start time. A good sized crowd had already gathered. 

Photo credit: Lawrence Community Activists

I saw Lauri and her friends, Tom and Diane from church, Sylvia and her bestie (Desiree), Leslie, Sue, and others. Some people came up to me and started talking as I tried to remember their names. Later that night I bumped into a different Sue who said she saw me there, but I walked by too quickly to catch my attention. We are all out there on a Saturday afternoon when there is much else we could be doing with our friend time. We do it to show others they are not alone. Us white women of a certain "rage," as someone on Joanne's latest post referred to us, stand on the front line because for the most part, it is safer for us than for anyone who looks like they might be an immigrant. As upset as I am, I am not in fear for my life, or for the lives of my family members.

Some pictures from the day:

Gotta love the 250th historic reference

Veto the Cheeto in faded orange

Photo Credit: Stacy
Her sign was a huge hit!

I talked to someone afterwards who said they are repurposing their Biden lawn signs by taping messages to the front and back. They are much stronger than card stock, and prettier than cardboard. I'll try that next time, since we know there will be a next time.

Five hundred is a drop in the bucket of 8 million protestors. Add in there were another thousand in Hopewell, 700 in Trenton, 3,500-5,000 in Princeton where our new governor spoke, and 3,500 in Lambertville and New Hope. There were 54 protests in New Jersey, over 3,000 throughout the country, and others held on six out of seven continents (assuming none were held in Antarctica, though they did have a lone scientist protesting last time). It is being stated as the largest protest ever in United States history. Final numbers will take several more months before they are available.

End of the Beard

A year ago I traveled to Belgium, leaving behind a clean-shaven husband itching to try his hand at growing a beard. I knew when I kissed him goodbye there was a good chance I would not see his jawline when I returned home. I didn't know how well it would grow in. We posed for this picture, which I used as my phone cover. When I came home, he had the makings of a full beard and mustache.

This was his first beard. There were times over the decades he tried growing a mustache. He used to work for a company that had nothing against mustaches, but they must be past the scruffy starter stage and look nice. Something he could not accomplish in a one week vacation. This was the same company that insisted they dress like IBM employees -- white dress shirts, dark suits, a tie, wingtip shoes, and dark dress socks. Women had a similar dress code. When I need a reminder of how he dressed for work, I look at old Friends episodes and see Ross and Chandler wearing ties when they go to the office. EDS was even more strict than that.

The beard lasted nearly a year. It never grew on me, and Don knew it. He also
knows I will never tell him what to do with his hair because I don't ever want to be told what to do with mine. (Currently I'm growing out the coloring because I grew tired of the expense, and because I don't know what I want to do. This picture was taken not long after I lost colored it.)

Friday night I came home from digging at Fort Mifflin. We were meeting a friend for dinner. I complimented him on his haircut. I noticed he wasn't wearing glasses. We went out. I talked to him. I looked at him. It wasn't until I went to bed that I realized he shaved his beard off. The Don I fell in love with is back!

The next day a coworker noticed immediately. Someone else said he looks better (thank you!). No one at church commented. 

Don said he wanted to shave it before he gets a summer tan. I'll take it.

A Tale of Two Paddingtons

Often when I read a book there seems to be a thread from the book I just read to the book I am reading now. It might be a character name, or a location, or some obscure fact that appears in two different books. Currently it is the name Wes. I read "The Other Wes Moore," then Wes was a background character in "The Lost Baker of Vienna," and now he is a small character in "Humor Me." 

While this happens a lot with books, I hadn't noticed the connection on vacation. Sure, most cafes around the world seem to play 80s pop music, which is the music I grew up with so I roll with it and smile feeling instantly at home, and also a little annoyed they are not playing local tunes. This really stood out when we dined at Basilica in Cusco, Peru where they played Bossa Nova versions of 80s pop.

I was surprised, though, when a certain bear became a vacation theme. I first noticed Paddington Bear in London, where he stars in a show on the West End. When I saw him a month later in Lima, Peru I was convinced he followed me. I was also very travel lagged (same time zone, so technically not jet lagged).

London

Lima

Paddington fans reading this are screaming "of course he'd be in both places!" After all, he is put on a boat from "darkest Peru" and arrives at London's Paddington Station where he begins to have the adventures that are recorded in Michael Bond's books. 

I did a double take wondering what other connections I would make on our journey.