Another Funeral

Why do funerals begin with the letters F-U-N? They are not fun. Yes, it is nice to see people we have not seen in years. Though seeing them is a reminder we need to get together under happier situations more often.

Frank brought us together. 

The priest reminded us a person dies twice. The first is when they leave their physical body. The second is the last time someone says their name.

Frank

Carina Hope

Peter

Xavier

Charlie

Children of friends who died much sooner than they should have. They leave behind giant holes.

The priest added we will all be changed by Frank's death. Maybe we'll take life a little slower. Maybe we'll push someone to vote (Frank was a Poli Sci student at our alma mater who wanted to become Chief of Staff). I know I've reminded people stressing about a typo or something trivial to put it in perspective. I try to say it gently. I'm sure one day I'll snap.

After the service a bunch of us gathered at a restaurant. I was at a table with Kappas Dave, Pete, Marc, and Steve, plus spouses Don, Tammy, and Michelle. Since graduating from college in 1992, I only remember seeing Dave and Pete each once, and I have never seen Steve and Tammy. I do keep in touch with Marc and Michelle. 

The people still married to their college sweethearts brought them to the funeral. The others didn't. I would have enjoyed meeting them.

Five founders, including me, Steve, Marc, Chris Smith, and Pete. Some Alphas, Betas, Gammas, Deltas, and Espilons. The largest gathering of Kappas (probably) ever. I was struck by how much we still looked like we did in 1992. I was also struck by how we fell into easy conversations. 

Politics were left off the table. I didn't want to know.

No old fights were brought up.

We learned about the time Steve was held up at gunpoint. He shared his story in such a practiced voice I suspect he has shared it over the years. Down to the teenage thieves stealing the beer along with his wallet and wedding ring. A call to the police quickly brought the SWAT team who was in training a couple of miles away. They caught the kids. Steve got everything back, except for two beers that broke during the chase.

Dave shared a little about his grandchildren. Sheesh! Grandchildren? 

Pete's daughter is at the college Ashley attended. She mentioned Ashley's name and it was recognized by an upper classman. It is sweet they remembered the college Ashley attended.

Marc and Michelle I keep in touch with more often, but they still shared some top secret news.

Many congratulations over Ashley and Anna's news.

It was nice to see everyone. It was an awful reason to gather.

Frank's parents, Darrel and Karin, lost their only child. They are at different stages of grief. I pray they don't lose each other, too. 

Wednesday night when we came home from North Jersey I had more thoughts. These are the ones that stayed with me.

Hug your children tighter. Take time to listen to them and be with them, especially when life feels too busy.