"You Can't Take it with You"

 As I wrote the previous post about Don's parents' bequests I thought of the play "You Can't Take it with You." The play has been on my mind since seeing it last month in Notre Dame's black box theater.

Returning to the school was both familiar and odd. I feel much of my life has been a dichotomy lately, why should this have been any different?

As we walked up to the doors we bumped into Ashley's friends' parents. Since it was general admission seating, we sat with them, too. 

That was familiar.

Sitting across the aisle from one was the teacher who used to direct this show.

That was odd.

The conversation leaned towards the comfortable: what are our children up to. Of the small group, Ashley is the only one of her high school friends studying abroad in college. The other parents are encouraging internships that will lead to jobs and careers making money.

Before the show started I felt I had to justify that we are happy Ashley is going to Italy on exchanged. Thrilled she is studying art -- especially because on the surface it is useless (deep down, I know it is not).

I could hear the judgment in one mom's voice about squandering time to do that. I was seated next to her son who is thinking about going to Australia over the summer with a team to implement a bridge he has been working on. I implored him to go. He was on the fence. I know the experience will change him.

The play, for those of you who know nothing about it, is a bunch of eccentrics living in a house pursuing their passions. Grandpa left corporate America 30 years earlier. He wakes up every day and does what he wants -- attending commencements, enjoying fresh air, etc. His son makes pyrotechnics in the basement. His daughter-in-law is writing plays. His granddaughter keeps twirling and dancing. Over the years they've attracted others who stay for years. No one is particularly good at anything, but they all enjoy life.

By the end of the play, the mom seemed to understand why we are encouraging Ashley to spend a few months in Italy studying art. We anticipate none of her classes will advance her towards graduation, but she will still be on track to graduate in four years. None of them will likely lead to a career.

I can only hope and pray those few months have as much of an impact on her as a person as the year I spent in Belgium and the few months I spent in Paris have had on my life.

I also hope and pray, she won't bury the experience for decades like I did.

As for Don's parents, they couldn't take it with them, but they did what they felt was best and make sure others benefit from their savings.