Surprise Visit!

It is not too often life gives you a chance to see what life would have been like had you taken a different path. I've actually started to write a book on this theme. A sort of "what if I had..." told through a fictitious heroine. 

Recently our exchange son texted to ask if he could stay with us during his visit to the East Coast. I jumped at the chance to see Yoran again and said YES! I then told Don and Ashley, and they were pleased, too.

I'll admit, I originally thought his visit would be for a couple of days, maybe a long weekend, and when I heard it was for 11 days I was a little nervous. Fortunately our calendar was mostly free and it was a real pleasure spending time once again as a family of four. 

Yoran stayed with us during the 2021 academic year. The pandemic was still controlling our lives. Ashley was rarely allowed to come home from college. Even though he lived with us for ten months, by arriving the day after she left for the semester, they spent maybe six weeks together. I had no idea how the visit would go. Would they get along? Would they be okay sharing a bathroom? Sharing our attention? How is his English these days?

Let's throw in Ashley had just interviewed for an out-of-state position that if she got, she would have started before he returned home and would have needed to move ASAP.

Deep breaths! I kept telling myself it would all work out.

We picked him up at the local train station after he had spent a few days in New York City with a friend from home. As he got off the train and walked towards us, I felt myself smile and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding (the last phrase a nod to a group that seeks out that phrase, highlights it, and shares it with a Facebook group). Seriously, I noticed three things all at once: his hair was still long, he had the beginnings of an artist's beard, and he was only carrying a small backpack. "Is that all you have," I asked as we released from our hug, and I flicked at his beard to acknowledge I noticed it.

"No, it's a long story," he replied.

After climbing in Don's car and commenting on his long locks, we asked for the story as we drove home, all while interrupting ourselves to share what is new since he left. His old bedroom is now my office. We have the same cars, no, wait, Ashley has a new car. Same pets. 

The story unfolded over the fifteen-minute drive home. His non-stop flight from Brussels made an unscheduled stop not too far away at an Air Force base (or so he surmised from seeing military aircraft) to refuel because they didn't have enough gas to keep circling around Newark Airport. They then left half of the luggage behind, including his. Eyebrows raised, I did a quick historic search on his flight to confirm his story -- yes, the plane did stop at Stewart Air Force Base in New York. The flight two days earlier had been cancelled. The flight the night before, the one he was supposed to be on, was cancelled. United then opted to run his flight on a smaller plane. None of this makes sense, but we were grateful he made it safely.

Through a series of mishaps, though he landed on Thursday and it was now Sunday, he still did not have his luggage. He tried to pick it up at Newark Airport, only to be told it still had to clear customs. Finally he told them to deliver it to our house. While waiting, I sent him and Don to Target to buy a bathing suit since his trip coincided with a heatwave and swimming was likely to be on the agenda.

His English was a little rusty, but his smile, long hair, and good humor were all intact. He arrived in August 2021 as a 19-year old with a fresh haircut, and left us a year later as a 20-year old with long, dark curly hair. His mom gave us a child, and we sent him home a man, or so it probably looked to her.

His time with us flew by faster than I would have expected. Yoran, Ashley, and I saw fireworks twice. He and the Cousin Club (Ashley, Hayden, Danny, and Ashley) met a few times at Grammy's house. He spent lots of time with his friends, too. He was a joy to spend time with. The four voices in unison saying our evening dinner prayer made it feel complete. Bass, tenor, alto, and soprano all together. It felt a little empty after he left.

We went out for ice cream at the bent spoon -- a place we went to after his first day of American High School, and again at the end with his parents. His trip was filled with other chances to stroll down memory lane.

Our last evening was spent in a way that bookended our first weekend together: we walked along the boardwalk from Ocean Grove to Asbury Park and back. Well, this time we also walked past Ocean Grove's "tent city" and on the beach. I was thrilled Ashley spent the evening with us, in fact she made sure to spend extra time with him and the cousins.

The day of his flight, she invited him to Melba's on Main Street for ice cream. Just the two of them.

I smiled. I wondered if this is what our lives would have been like had we had a son a year after we had a daughter. Would Ashley have teased the younger brother like she teases Yoran. Would he have teased her back? Would they have simply ignored each other?

Ashley came with us to the airport for the drop off. Unlike the pick up from the train station, and dinners together, this time we were all quiet. We knew he was leaving, and don't know when this magic will happen again.

We found out after he left she did not get the job. So glad I didn't tell him he couldn't come over because of it.

By the way, nothing like a visit from someone who lived with us for us to notice all of the changes in our lives ... fence in the backyard, new washing machine, new toaster over, and new refrigerator. Fortunately, much was the same.