Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow.

Over a month ago Ashley informed us after much consideration, and talking to her friends, she has decided to shave her head.

Her friends are very supportive. They've even offered to come over to watch and help her.

One friend has offered to shave her head at the same time.

I'm not so supportive. I keep thinking I don't want my girl to look like the strange artsy girl. 

Yes, I agree that's very judgmental of me. 

I also keep having flashbacks to 5-year old Ashley who wanted her hair to be "short like Emma." The day after cutting 10-12 inches off of her head to the length of a chin bob, she tearfully asked me to glue it back on.

I don't want Ashley coming up to me in tears because she didn't realize how she would look without hair. Especially knowing it would be at least 6 months before it would look like a hair cut.

Ironically when I do reach out to ask someone for advice, they tell me about the time their daughter shaved her head for St. Baldricks or some other reason. Ashley has a co-worker who regularly shaves her head and enjoys seeing how it grows back. Maybe God is trying to tell me something?

I toggle between:
* I love her
* it is only hair
* I love her
* she is 18
* I love her
* she is making a huge mistake
* I love her

I wish she would wait until after she made friends in college who love her and support her as much as her high school friends do. In the age of wearing masks all the time it will be hard enough to make friends.

Every time she postpones the shaving I am filled with hope she will continues to wait. Maybe wait until the new drivers license photo is taken? Maybe wait until after graduation part 3? Surely we'll have a wedding or other celebration where it would be nice to have hair? Oh wait, we are stuck in purgatory of COVID-19, with no opportunities to celebrate again. Very few opportunities to meet new people. *sigh*

And, no, I still don't know why this decision bothers me so much. It just does.

UPDATE 7/22/2020

Ashley did it. There is no "after" shot because I am still in denial. I admit I am not being very supportive about this decision. I feel we reached the point in life where what her friends' advice is more important than our advice. It happens to everyone. It is a normal part of growing up. I wish I could better handle it, but we are still in the middle of a pandemic where my normal support systems have crashed.

I'm jealous for her solid group of friends. I wish I could have been there for the big shave, but I also wish she could have held off until she made solid friends in college. 

Will she always be viewed at Moravian as the weird artsy chick? Can she carry off that role? Who can I turn to to voice my concerns? 

Someday her friends will be replaced in importance by a spouse and children. It is natural.

Doesn't mean I hurt any less today as I see her fuzzy head and her chopped off pony tails. 

Doesn't mean I have the words to explain all of this to her.