Joseph's World

I swear most of the time he wears red shorts.

(Author's note: I've written this post so many times in my head, I thought I made a blog post out of it. That's been happening to me during the pandemic. I have thoughts I want to share, but not the physical space in which to share them. That is partially why I wrote twice as many posts in 2020 as I did in 2021 (114 vs. 57) since I had the physical space to write before my office merged with Don's.)

Joseph.

Joseph is a neighbor who is on the spectrum. Joseph always wears a red t-shirt and red shorts. Joseph is always accompanied by his mom, Lucy. Joseph takes the same path every day at the same time every day. They do have to adjust their schedule for Daylight's Saving, but not much else alters their routine. Lucy is a runner, which is how we connected. 

Joseph is different, but in the best way possible. 

Whereas I will smile and wave when I pass people in the park (which is already not what most people do), Joseph goes deeper. Joseph asks their names, their birthdays, their spouses names, where they live, why their knee is wearing a brace, what they did for a holiday, the names of their kids. You name it, Joseph asks. And people answer (some more hesitantly than others).

And Joseph remembers.

Based on being told once, Joseph calls each of us on our birthday and leaves a long message singing "Happy Birthday" off-key, telling us how we'll be celebrating (which is often not correct, but that's okay), wishing us a happy birthday (or anniversary), and telling us we can call him back at our number.

This in and of itself is charming.

Joseph takes it to another level. When he sees someone he knows along his path he asks how they are doing. And he seems to really listen. He'll follow up with asking about their knee injury or how their children are doing in school or whatever else they talked about at one point.

He saved me when he asked a friend of mine her birthday. I'm embarrassed to admit we have been friends for nearly 20 years, but I had no idea when her birthday was (not the day, the week, the month, or even the season, to paraphrase the opening to "Friends"). That is until Joseph asked her as innocently as he asks everyone. And she answered. Now I have it marked on my calendar and remember to wish her a happy birthday, which is one simple thing all friends should do for each other.

When I change my direction and walk with Joseph I have a glimmer into his world. People stop. They answer him. They take a much-needed pause. Sure some brush him off, but those people don't know what a gift it is to know Joseph.

I snapped the above picture to remind myself to take that pause and treat people as innocently and curiously as Joseph does.