Biking along the Jersey Shore

A few weeks ago we were in Ocean Grove when we noticed the boardwalk connected to the town just south. Don and I swear there used to be a gap, but on that day we walked to the next town like it was meant to be. We decided it would be fun to bring the tandem bike and give it a roll after Labor Day once the crowds were done for the season.

The weather was lovely, as it tends to be right after school starts up for the new year, so we loaded the tandem in the back of Don's Honda Element and drove to the beach. We thought of our friend Kevin who makes an annual ride along the shoreline. Should have asked him how he makes the connections since they were not all obvious.

I should have made notes afterwards, because the details are a bit light now. Here is the map of our hour and a half-long trip.

We started in Ocean Grove next to a sign that said no bicycles allowed on the boardwalk between May 15 and September 15, and breathed a sigh of relief because it was September 16. Pure luck.

What we didn't factor was that each town sets its own ordinances. Some limit bicycles year-round, others between Memorial Day and Labor Day, probably still others don't have any rules -- or at least they don't mark them.

We were determined to see how far south we could ride the tandem before having to leave the road. The answer: less than two miles.

We crossed Fletcher Lake, which did not used to have a boardwalk over it, and rode into Bradley Beach. At the end of Bradley Beach, less than two miles into our epic ride, the boardwalk ended forcing us to go to the street and cross a bridge.

Back on the boardwalk, we rode through Avon-by-the-Sea. Entering each town, I'm always in awe of the little signs that make each town unique. It could be the materials used for the boardwalk, or the types of benches, the streetlights (or lack thereof), or the size of the homes, but the signs exist.

Avon-by-the-Sea effortlessly took us to Belmar. While in Belmar, or perhaps Lake Como Beach, we had our only bit of congestion when a high school sports team dropped in front of us to do push-ups at the halfway point of their training run. We narrowly missed a competitive teen as he stopped, dropped, and pushed up, and kept our eyes out for more. Perhaps we should have heeded the sign that said no bikes allowed on the boardwalk?

The next town is Spring Lake. I instantly recognized it from the gateway I've run through on their Memorial Day weekend 5 mile race. At the end of Spring Lake we seemed to hit a road block, or rather the end of the boardwalk. As we were clumsily turning the tandem around (turning a bicycle around is enough of a challenge, the tandem feels ten times as hard in the moment), a man said we should keep going. We asked how?, and he replied "Follow me." If you think it was hard turning the tandem around the first time, it was harder the second time since we had the added pressure of someone to follow.

He lead us up two blocks, across a bridge, down a street, and a left turn and down two more roads to the boardwalk in Sea Girt, which we rode for another couple of miles until we hit another end of the boardwalk. We were at the 6.5 mile route. Our tandem limit ride is somewhere between 10 and 15 miles, so a 13 mile ride was right in the sweet spot.

We retraced our steps. Once back in Ocean Grove we decided to go north a little bit and search for ice cream. Unfortunately Day's was closed, but we rode around tent city, which always looks a bit sad after the tents are put away for the off-season. We put the car back in the car and walked up to Asbury Park.

Never fear, the drive home took us to Hoffman's for some ice cream. 

Seems I took most of my pictures on the ride back. I'm getting quite comfortable developing my "drive by shooting" skills.

Crossing Fletcher Lake

Back to Spring Lake

Catamarans on the beach in Spring Lake

Belmar

Crossing the bridge from Belmar into Avon-by the-Sea

Bradley Beach

Birds!

Fountain in Bradley Beach -- almost done

Ocean Grove

The tents are down, but ...

the tents are still up a few blocks away

At the end of our 14 mile ride

Artistic picture, reflection off Don's car

Asbury Park

Yes, it fits

Post-ride ice cream

Newlin Grist Mill Archaeology

A couple of months ago Don's former co-worker (and now my friend) Dan invited me to the Newlin Grist Mill public archaeology day. I left with an invitation to join them on Wednesdays as the team continues to look for the east wall.

The work is dreadfully slow and excruciatingly painful, but oh so much fun! The first week Dan joined me and also had a great time, but, alas, he does not have enough vacation days to take off every Wednesday. This leaves me as the young 'un! Any time I think about complaining about how much it hurts (and since the ground is rock solid) I remind myself I'm at least ten years younger than everyone else. I remind them to drink water in the heat and to graciously accept the tent when it comes out after lunch.

So far I spend more time digging around a rock, only to discover it is not important and have lead archaeologist pluck it out in one fell swoop.

Where I am digging might be a wall, or it might be loose stones left in place after the western wall collapsed in the 1950 fire. There were no drawings, photographs, or written documentation of the space. It may have been a place for animals, or a storage unit, or its purpose changed over time. Due to the mortar found, it was likely built before 1860 when concrete was invented, but maybe not.

Other than the 80-minute drive to the dig site through 95 in Philadelphia, I am enjoying the actual digs. 

The work is slow

A rare piece of pottery.
Technically a porcelain lined cap used when canning to keep the
chemicals from the lid from leaking into the preserved food.

A chicken bone

Keith is in the center surrounded by little ears
absorbing every word.

Last Saturday was the Fall Festival. Over 1100 people came through and checked out what we were doing. It was quite chaotic! I don't know what I expected -- less people, and more volunteers, for sure. I thought I would be digging and filling buckets (on Wednesdays we don't move much dirt and don't sift what we find because it is obvious there is nothing there) so the public could screen. Instead I was pressed into service showing the public how to sift, and explaining what we are up to. Somehow Dan and I were deemed the experts (found out later, Dan volunteered us for the role). As I tried to glean what Keith (the only archaeologist) was telling the people, I was also sharing this brand-new knowledge with the next wave of the public. It was exhausting. I left with sore arms and a head ready to explode. Fortunately Dan had extra water and electrolytes he shared with me, and the volunteer station had more water, since I planned poorly.

In an effort to recharge, we took this Wednesday off from digging. It was much needed as Keith was sick and the rest of us were physically tired.

A year of not working

Thirteen months ago I left my role as the Director of Development for The Bridge Academy. Glancing through this blog, I see now I left without posting anything about it on the blog. The closest I came to sharing the news was in a post about going to Australia and New Zealand. A post I wrote a month later. 

I came home from the other side of the world unsure about what my future would hold. I knew I was broken and in need of some healing before I could be a good employee again. Though no one said as much, I felt I let down the school by leaving. I stayed a couple of months longer than anticipated so they had time to hire someone to replace me, and time for me to train the person. 

Yet, when my last day came, I felt like a loser. 

There were no words of thank you, or good luck. No card, or token gift. Certainly not a party like my predecessor had received. Not even a good-bye lunch. No closure.

I felt I did nothing right. Like an imposter. As soon as I handed in my keys and laptop, I thought they would figure out I was a phony. I was broken in ways I could not have imagined nearly five years earlier when I started on a high. For 16 years I had been a stay-at-home mom, and Jacquie-of-all trades when The Bridge Academy saved me and saw me as more than my pieces. They gave me the tools to succeed and surrounded me with positive vibes. I wanted to help everyone.

A year later, though, I was already feeling deflated. Fundraising is not easy. You need a passion for the organization in order to succeed. A team on your side is also necessary for success. 

In my second year, my predecessor stepped in and took me on as a pet project to make me a better fundraiser. In the beginning I welcomed her advice -- as the sole fundraiser I did not have an inhouse network. As time went on, though, her advice turned more from helpful suggestions to what I should do, always couched with "of course, it is your job, so you do what is best." It didn't help she had the ear of the head of school and I felt my ideas were dismissed because they were mine.

By the end of 2019, when these feels started to take over, I should have sent out some resumes, but instead I told myself I could hang on until the March 2020 gala.

Ten days before the gala, the State of New Jersey and the world shut down due to the pandemic and the decision whether or not to hold it was taken out of my hands. 

All the rules went out the window.

Everyone at the school shifted from thriving to surviving. Fundraising changed from in-person events to phone calls with people actually answering their phones. I leaned into my predecessor and created a committee so we could brainstorm ways to stay connected. We went into extra innings with planning the gala. Fundraising came to a crash as in past years we raised half our money through the gala. Without the event, what should we do?

I wanted to crawl under the covers. I was forced to work from home, or alone when I did go into school. They were scary times. I have never felt so alone.

The school year reopened in a hybrid setting six months later. We realized we would not be able to hold a gala in the Spring of 2021, either. Meanwhile the construction project that had been on hold finally started and I was forced back to my home to work. 

The proverbial football was punted even further away. I didn't want to leave until I held a successful gala.

Finally, in the Spring of 2022 we had a very successful gala. I made changes I had wanted to implement in 2019, but did not feel comfortable doing. Changes that included new software and online bidding. 

I was starting to regain my confidence and wanted to do one more gala.

Trouble was, I never reconnected with the staff, teachers, and students. I was more connected to some parents than I was to those in-house. Had this been a Hallmark movie instead of my life, some eureka moment would have happened and the school would have rallied behind me and my fundraising and noticed my value as part of the team. Instead as they moved back from surviving to thriving I was pushed out. I was excluded from staff meetings (which I finally petitioned to be allowed to attend). Once things began to return to normal, I was excluded from staff parties. How was I supposed to raise money for a place that values acceptance and kindness above all when I was not feeling accepted or treated with kindness?

There were a couple of more kicks to the gut. The final one was when I was told I had to have anything I send out proofread by two people before I could send it because I had mistakes in my post-gala thank you letters. I could not ask the head of school, board members, business office manager, or teachers because they are all too busy, but I had to ask someone in-house. I was stumped as to who could read my words, so I slowed down on sending letters or mass emails. 

When I asked people to read them, they said they were fine and there was nothing to change. I didn't believe them because I had learned my writing always had mistakes in it.

I knew it was truly time to leave. I waited until after the next gala when I raised more money than in prior years so I could leave on a high. Many would give two weeks' notice and leave, but instead I wrote a book documenting all I do in a year, and waited for them to hire my successor. They left me alone. I felt like I was drowning.

As I started to pack for Australia, I trained my successor and handed in my keys. Over the year I checked in with her and helped her run a gala equally as successful as mine. She put her twist on things, and took out changes I made, but that was her prerogative. 

The year has been full of ups and downs. Reflecting on the past year, I see it included a lot more volunteering, some adult education, traveling near and far, reading a lot of books, and seeing friends. Overall, not a bad life. 

1) Conversing with ESL learners with The English School at Lawrence Road Presbyterian Church -- an experience that brought much laughter as four to five strangers forced ourselves to focus on talking to each other for an hour. 

2) Trustee for the Ewing Township Historic Preservation Society. In addition to attending meetings, it is volunteering for all activities, and conducting interviews with long-time residents.

3) Helping the new Director of Development with her first gala.

4) Digging at the Newlin Grist Mill in West Chester, PA.

5) Data entry with Dress for Success.

6) Set strike, ushering, etc. with Somerset Valley Players.

7) Writing the monthly eNews for Alliance Française. 

I feel like there is more. Some is cyclical, and took a pause over the summer.

I also took some classes for fun.

1) Roller skating

2) Photography

3) Hula Hooping

I got together with friends on a more frequent basis.

The year started with traveling to Australia and New Zealand. We also went to Cuba, and are planning to return to Australia (and Bali) in a month. I thought the year would have included more traveling. Don taking a part time job with REI has cut into that wish.

Smaller trips include Ohio to see family and friends, and Buffalo, NY to experience the eclipse.

Many day trips in New York City, often to see Broadway shows, as well as quick trips to the Jersey Shore, mostly to Ocean Grove and Asbury Park.

I was surprised the year included a temp gig working at a friend's non-profit law firm. The pay was nice, and the work was light, but the real bonus was being surrounded by Honey Bunny's artwork. 

I am open to more short-term opportunities, especially if Don is going to continue to work. I should refresh my application with a temp agency. Temping gives me the opportunity to meet new people, have some new experiences, and leave before things turn sour. It also allows to spend the next year doing more traveling, volunteering, taking classes, seeing friends, and reading.

I still don't know what the next chapter brings. At 55 I feel too young to retire, and too old to start something new.

Please share if you have any thoughts.

PS: I learned this week my predecessor just resigned. I wish them the best in hiring a replacement.

Canal House Tour

It has been a while since we've had more activities on a day than we can really handle, but last Sunday was that kind of day.

Don was supposed to be in charge of live streaming the church service, but that meant creating "the deck" on Friday night or Saturday to be ready for when church stared. Between working at REI, volunteering at the annual Full Moon bike ride, and sleep, he ran out of time to do the necessary prep work. Someone else took over, freeing us from going to church (we can watch later online).

We had tickets to see "Beautiful Things" at Langhorne Players, tickets that included a talk back. The church was going to have a production of "Life of an Actress" at the same time. Then we learned the Canal House in Lawrenceville would be part of a Canal House Challenge.

Ideally we would ride our bike to visit the five houses on the Canal House Challenge. We figured the distance was about 17 miles one way -- easy for Don, not so easy for me even on the tandem. Instead we drove. Later we learned friends did the ride and said it took the same amount of time as their friends who drove the route (I suspect their friends drove them back since they only talked about their one-way route).

The draw to the canal house in Lawrenceville is that it has been closed since 2011 when Hurricane Irene flooded it.

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Canal House organization, the bridgetender and locktender homes in East Millstone, Blackwells Mills, Griggstown, Kingston, and Port Mercer (Lawrenceville) coordinated their hours and their volunteers to be open from 10-4 on September 15. At the first location, they gave you a brochure with pictures of the five places, and locations (not quite addresses) to guide you to each one. Driving directions (or addresses or GPS coordinates) would have been helpful. Riding the tandem would have been the simplest.

My goal was to go inside Port Mercer. After that, I suggested we go from North to South because the northernmost one were open the most infrequently.

Surprisingly we only bumped into one person we knew -- a biking friend of Don's he has been meaning to contact to thank for his work in getting the D&R Canal towpath usable. He regularly commutes on it.

Port Mercer: looks fantastic! I heard the Junior Historians did much of the grunt work, including discovering the brick patio beneath a covering of weeds. The inside looked like someone could move into it, except that the bathroom is out back. I did smack my head on the way upstairs from the back addition. Ouch!

Port Mercer

East Millstone: they have a separate locktender space perhaps 9x9. The homes were pretty tiny, especially considering they had families. No space for privacy. We noticed one of the outhouses was a double-seater hugging a corner.

Blackwells Mill: this one was on the corner of two busy streets with the locktender's station across one of the streets.

Griggstown: this one was lived in until the early 1970s. It only sat vacant a couple of years before the D&R Canal Watch was created in 1974. It is also the most modernized of the homes with running water. The granddaughter of the last resident told us stories about visiting the place when she was little. 

Kingston: due to our jumping from the last to the first, we ended in an odd spot. As it was a beautiful day, parking was the toughest at this spot.

Our prize for finishing the challenge: a magnet.

I hope this becomes an annual tradition. If so, next time we hope the weather is just as nice and that we ride it.