Thinking about House Hunting

Don and I have begun the first stage in house hunting: trying to figure out where we want to move to in retirement. We are not ready to actually move, but it took us five years to shift from asking ourselves where should we live to actually moving. Our standards have only grown more finicky in the past quarter of a century. We know both what we do want and what we don't want in the next stage.

It could be summed up as we want to live in a town that most resembles a Hallmark movie or the setting of a cozy mystery series (without a bunch of murders, of course). The type of place where everything is within walking distance, there are lots of small businesses to support, everyone is friendly, and the place is affordable enough for the starving artist to be able to afford a mansion. It also needs to be within a short drive of family, our favorite businesses, and New York City. As Garrison Keillor famously said about Lake Woebegone "where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average."

The big problem in New Jersey are our property taxes. Go to Zillow and look up any home in the Garden State, and unless you are from here or Southern California your eyeballs will pop out of your head, like ours did when our mechanic told us her MONTHLY car insurance bill in Philadelphia is about what ours is for A YEAR. 

Towns visited thus far in the quest to find Utopia:

Westerville, Ohio

Newark, Delaware

Arden, Delaware

Middletown, Delaware

Delaware City, Delaware

New Castle, Delaware

Milford, Delaware

With the exception of Westerville (which is near cousins), the others are within two hours of my parents. We don't want to be too far away.

Simple litmus tests:

What options are there for ice cream?

What is the library like?

Do the parks have lights at night?

What is the walkability score?

Is there a Presbyterian Church (or a similar denomination)?

Where is the nearest theater?

Is there a locally owned coffee shop on the main street?

Bonus: is it near a college or university

Don suggested adding: how far to the closest Wegmans? The first choices all fail that test. Most even fail the basic ice cream test.

We have found some great local restaurants. Sully's Irish Pub in Middletown, DE is a must if you visit. In addition to delicious gourmet food, the owner will tell you about the history of every item in the pub. The salmon was only $21 and the best I have had.

We have found some great trails, such as the path on the waterway in New Castle.

The total package is still lacking. Next on our list of places to explore is Lancaster, PA. We went there a couple of weeks ago for First Night, but we were still thinking we wanted to move to Delaware so we didn't look at the city through the lens of is this a good place to live. A quick Google search finds it has the highest walkability score of any city in Pennsylvania, and was recently voted the best place to retire to in the United States. The property taxes are much lower than in our town, and they have a Wegmans. I see another field trip in our near future.

Once we have a destination in mind, we will take our time finding just the right house. If you think our wish list for where to live is fussy, our dream home is even more particular. May we find that dream home by 2028 and enjoy at least a quarter of a century in that home. 

Date Night at the Taylor Swift Movie

Movies are not typically something I write a blog post about. I planned to write this post in October right after seeing the movie, instead it took me until almost Thanksgiving to write it. I made the date when we saw it rather than when it was written (just to add to the confusion).

Don and I are not Swifties. Ashley was never into her, although her best friend at the time was. I did not appreciate the hype when her concert tickets went on sale, though I did feel for the moms who promised their teens and pre-teens that they would buy them tickets to the concert and couldn't due to major glitches with Ticketmaster, resulting in sky high ticket prices. I really didn't understand her appeal until recently. Now that I have, I am hooked.

We booked tickets to see the movie version of her Eras Tour on opening weekend. As we got closer to the date and started reading about how theaters were actually encouraging dancing, singing along, and selfies, we did wonder what did we sign up for, and questioned our sanity.

When we arrived with the tickets we bought back in August, the ink was rubbing off the tickets because movie tickets are not designed to last and be scrapbooked, we told the ticket taker this was our first Taylor Swift event. He gave us each a small movie poster and pointed us to the selfie station, or maybe it is an "ussie" station. It was almost like being with Taylor herself.

For once we were early to the theater.  As we had assigned seats, we didn't have to get there that early. For about 30 minutes we sat in a completely empty theater watching the pre-movie entertainment. Then one pre-teen Swiftie arrived with her dad, who got her settled and ran out of the theater as quickly as possible as if the phenomenon was contagious! Just as the movie/concert was about to start, everyone else showed up. We knew the show was sold out, but still didn't expect everyone to arrive together (it was not one large group).

The movie is a slightly shorter version of her live concert. With a runtime of 2 hours and 40 minute, her concerts rival Springsteen with its length and energy. That's where the similarities end. I commented to Don that she outdoes Springsteen.

Unlike The Boss, she has costume and set changes. Other than an acoustic solo in the middle of the show, she puts on the same performance every. single. night. I have since learned, she did not repeat a solo number during her entire run and Swifties talk about which song they got on during their performance.

The audience was quieter than I was hoping for. Our little Swiftie sat in her seat the whole time, with her arm covered in friendship bracelets. There was a small group near the front who got up and danced, while their moms took their pictures. Some people sang along. I didn't see anyone swapping friendship bracelets or dressing like the star. It was probably the right level of enthusiasm for us.

The more I have read about her since that night, the more I respect her as a person and as a businesswoman. She is only 34 years old. She started her career at age 17. When she performs in smaller countries, it positively impacts their GDP. She is a powerhouse!

This past week I saw a post that resonated with me:

That's me. The girl who was not hated or taunted, but also not included. Not popular. Not invited to parties. As an adult, I'm still not part of a clique. I blend in with a bunch of different groups of people, but never feeling like an insider. Never having that best friend. Often feeling lonely.

Perhaps that is why I root for her. By all measures she has it all, and yet, is generous. At the end of our tour, she gave a $100,000 bonus to each of the drivers who were on her tour, and $55 million in bonuses overall to her team. That is life changing money, enough for a down payment on a home.

Every time I hear about her in the news my ears perk up and I listen. I root for her. I want her to continue to be a role model for girls everywhere. The world needs more genuinely good people. More people who want others to thrive, too. 

Gwen's Side of the Story (a.k.a. the glasses)

By now you've read Her side of the story, you know the one who "lost" me. Her. She doesn't bother to call me Gwen, only "my glasses" so I don't see any need to call her anything other than Her. 

So there!

Back in fall, or was it spring? Hard to tell with the nice weather even though it was September, Her and I were having dinner in a trolley car. It was probably the most fun adventure I have ever had. Her, though, kept taking me off and putting me on. Her could not figure out where to put me on the tiny table. Her did not want to be seen in any pictures, but I did end up in this one! 

After dinner we walked around the big building where the trolleys are stored. It was so much fun! But Her kept taking me off and putting me on when it suited Her. It was so annoying! How did Her expect me to see what was happening!

Her dropped me once, but picked me up right away.

Her continued the dropping and picking me up. I was getting a little dizzy. I just wanted to see the Ladies as the nice conductor kept referring to them. So, when I saw my chance, I stayed hidden in one of the trolleys.

The next day was probably my favorite day of my life, but also the scariest! I went all over town. I saw more people than ever. They were so friendly. Not one of them stepped on me. One kid put me on, but then his grown up told him to leave me alone, that I belonged to someone else. Harrumph! I liked the kid. He had imagination and a sparkle.

That night after they put me away someone who worked there noticed me for the first time. They picked me up and put me on a table. Then they turned off the lights. 

It was dark and I was alone.

Suddenly I wanted the adventure to be over and return to Her. Her might not have taken the best care of me, or even seemed to like me, but Her was where I belonged.

The next day I was carried gingerly across the street to meet more people. It wasn't a long walk. I did see the sunshine.

The nice woman in the office was so excited to see me! She sent Her an email letting Her know I was safe! She thought she would make Her happy! Instead Her was not happy. Her had moved on without me to another country. To new adventures. I wasn't gone that long!

I convinced this nice Lady I would rather hang out with her than be reunited with Her. I must have been convincing because I stayed in the office a few more days. I heard lots of people with different accents come in and ask about things to do in Christchurch. 

I wish I could have stayed there forever.

A few days later came the rough part of my adventures. They dared to put me in a dark box. I don't like to think about these days as I spent a lot of time bouncing about. I don't know where I was. Every so often I could hear some voices -- Excitement, "they are finally here!" which changed to annoyance, "Well, I guess I better take them to the post office so Jacquie can see again."

I knew that meant I would be put in another box and bounced about for more days. I remembered flying over with Her, and that took f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Being in the dark the whole time, though, I felt was much longer. Maybe it was because it was so dark? I tried to rest, but I was worried. Would Her like me? Did Her replace me already? 

Her was happy to see me! Her wore me everywhere for a couple of weeks. Then Her went to the eye doctor. He told Her that Her's prescription had changed and she needed new glasses. Her was excited picking out new frames. When they came in a week later, Her started wearing them all the time and put me in a hidden spot in Her's car. 

Sorry there aren't any pictures. Her likes to take pictures, but I don't have a camera of my own.

Glasses Saga

I recently lost my glasses. An experience I suspect many can relate to. At best it is a frustrating experience. At worst it is debilitating. Fortunately, my experience was more on the scale of exasperating -- a notch up from frustrating, but nowhere nearly as bad as debilitating.

Halfway through my adventures Down Under, I woke up and could not find my glasses. Our schedule called for a full day exploring Christchurch, New Zealand, followed by waking up at 3 am to catch a flight to Melbourne, Australia.

G'night, mate

The first thing you do whenever something like this happens is to retrace your

steps back to where you know you last had them. In my case, I knew I had them while touring the Trolley Garage after dining on a trolley car, a ten-minute walk from our hotel.

The sensible thing to do was to literally retrace our steps. Once we arrived at the Trolley Garage we explained what happened the night before, mindful we did not want to get our after hours tour guide in trouble, but really, really, really wanting the glasses. They said if they were found they would be on a certain table, and nothing was there.

All of the trolleys were out for training

Then we headed to the office where we bought the ticket for dinner on the trolley. They didn't have it, but would keep an eye out and let us know if the turned up.

I spent much time retracing our steps. After a couple of iterations, I started asking other hotels and even the library we passed if anyone brought in a pair of glasses they found. 

I went back to the tourist office. I gave them my cell phone number (but they didn't want to make an international call, nor did they use WhatsApp), so I also gave them my email address. Again, asking they reach out to us that day if they find it.

Having done all we could do to find them, I went into a shop to see how quickly they could make a back up pair using the prescription in my sunglasses. The answer: two weeks. I asked if a shop in Melbourne could be any faster, and they said definitively no because they have to be shipped out to another country to be made. 

Then I texted my house sitter extraordinaire to see if he could mail me my back up glasses, which I keep in my car. He could do that, and did do that.

My vision is okay in bright light, but I need my glasses in dark situations. Don played seeing eye husband at night and when my eyes had to adjust from sunlight to indoor light.

Up at 3 am the next day disappointed to be leaving New Zealand without my
glasses, but confident I did everything I could do.

Twelve hours later I received an excited message from the tourist office -- my glasses were found! I could come and pick them up! 

Giant deep breath.

"Can you ship them to my friend's house in Brisbane? We'll be there in about a week." She quickly and enthusiastically said she could do that! A day later, she asked me for my credit card information to pay for postage. Fair enough. Then it was Thursday, so it would have to wait until next Tuesday to ship. 

Really? Yes, really.

The trip continued in Melbourne before snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef and then meeting up with my friend in Brisbane. All the while, Don and I played the guessing game: which pair will arrive first? The back up pair mailed from the US or the primary pair mailed from New Zealand.

At Jo and Andrew's house the following Friday, Jo said her mail tracker said the package arrived at their post office. She wasn't sure, though, if it would make it to their house on time. We had Monday morning flights -- Don to home, me to Sydney. I really did not want to go to Sydney without either my glasses or my seeing eye husband.

By Friday morning we were beat. Three weeks of traveling. Many flights + Many hotels + Many restaurants + No set plans for what to do in Brisbane = sleeping in and taking it slow.

Procrastination for the win! The package from the United States arrived first! Thank you Bart!

By this point Jo warned us the mail service between New Zealand and Australia is slow. Since they only mailed it on Tuesday, and we were leaving on Monday morning (before the mail would be delivered) and Sunday hardly counts, there just was not enough time. I really should have either had them mail the glasses home or said to toss them, but I was attached to my blue glasses. I left Jo and Andrew money to cover shipping, and left them the box and glasses case Bart used for safe shipping.

I continued on to Sydney. By the time I flew home, the glasses still had not arrived in Brisbane.

A few days later they made it, and Jo mailed them to me.

On October 11, nearly a month after being lost, they made their way back to me. A couple of weeks later I had an eye exam and bought a replacement pair for $12 with insurance. They now sit in my car as my back up glasses. I think I'll move them to Don's car so I have glasses in case I need to drive his car.

What an experience!

Happy Early 80th, Dad

Last summer I asked my dad what he wanted to do to celebrate his milestone birthday. He quickly answered he wanted to go on a train ride in Lancaster, PA with the entire family -- mom, his three daughters, and grandchildren.

Anyone with school-aged, especially college-aged, family members could tell you, this is not an easy logistical challenge. There are four grandchildren ages 15 through 21, each with their own busy activities. 

Knowing Ashley had a three-day weekend from college, in May I pitched the idea of Columbus Day Weekend. Someone said they had a gig that day. Back to the drawing board. How about Thanksgiving break? Christmas break? January break? The dates were becoming less and less appealing as far as weather was concerned. Lancaster glows in the Fall.

Just as I was thinking we'd have to celebrate dad's 80 1/2 birthday next summer, the gig was cancelled. The date freed up. We bought our tickets and hoped for nice weather. In the meantime, other things came up, but everyone came, including a bonus grandchild and a friend. We took our 45-minute train ride through the Amish countryside from Strasburg, PA to Paradise, PA and back in a fully-restored antique steam rail road car.

We sat in the general admission car. It is hard to believe, but they have even fancier cars. This one glistened as much as it did the first day it was used nearly 200 years ago (I don't really know the age of this specific car, but the rail road started in 1832, and is the oldest in America). There were a few other people in the car with us, but it felt as if we had the place to ourselves. 

Afterwards we went to Dienner's Country Restaurant for dinner. Dienner's is an all you can eat Amish buffet. 

The celebration will continue on his real birthday, December 26, with a gluten-free cake and more happiness. Meanwhile, we gave him a day to celebrate his birthday that was not tied to Christmas. When family wore fall colors instead of red and green.

Here are some pictures from the day:

Views of the Amish countryside:

Pictures of the train:

Trip Update #10: Parting Thoughts from Down Under

As we left New Zealand, I made a post about random thoughts from the New Zealand portion of the trip. I realized I didn't make a similar post the trip in general.

A popular question been, "so, what was your favorite part?" 

While that is a perfectly acceptable question to ask (and one I might ask a friend after a long journey), I do not have a succinct answer.

The heart's answer: seeing friends in Melbourne and Brisbane

The best splurge answer: riding in a helicopter 

The real answer is longer: I was able to relax because:

• I always felt safe--no matter the time of day or neighborhood
• There was always a clean, free, public restroom nearby 
• Free tap water stations almost always available when ordering food
• I could read signs and understand strangers
• The sun shined most of the time
• The weather was wonderful (not too hot, not too cold)
• Money was easy to use
• Amazing food options
• No sales tax added to items plus no tipping, meant I knew if I had enough cash before I went to pay for a meal
• No responsibilities
• Lots of runners and cyclists no matter the day or night
• I felt like I belonged -- at least until I opened my mouth and my Yankee accent came through

That said, we felt the downside of being that far away from home when our daughter reached out to us with a problem.

I did feel I was constantly doing mental gymnastics:

• How much is that in US Dollars?
• What time is it at home?
• How far is that in miles?

Mostly, how long until we can return? 

Check out the Table of Contents for more posts.

Down Under from the Beginning

In May I opened a mini Dove bar and saw the message: When life isn't going right, go left.

Life wasn't going right. I had decided to leave my job of four and a half years, but didn't know the next step. All I knew was I did not want to sign a contract and commit to another school year. 

I took the advice literally and started to plan a trip as far left as I could go without going right and landed in New Zealand and Australia.

From that thought came a lot of back and forth with Don. Would I go alone? Would he come with me for the entire trip? Would I go alone? Where exactly would I go? What did I want to do? What did I want to see? How long would I/we be gone? What would happen to the house? The pets? What dates would work out best for everyone? 
 

In the end, the trip was almost exactly perfect. Along the way there were a few tweaks that might have made it a little more perfect, but considering I put a four-week trip together in barely twice that amount of time, it was perfect.

I spent over a month trying to figure out the basic parameters. Once I figured those out, the rest fell into place. In no particular order:

• Don would join me for the first three weeks, I retained the option to stay longer
• We would visit Andrew and Jo in Brisbane (we had to wait until they returned from their European vacation)
• We would not rent a car and attempt to drive on the other side of the road
• We would only use carry-on luggage
• We would fly from city to city and stay in cities

Each day of our trip was vastly different from the others, and included many firsts. We hardly ate the same food twice, and only repeated one restaurant (I needed a quick meal towards the end of my adventures and knew I could count on a Thai restaurant). To me, the variety was the best part of the trip.

As for the house and pets, a friend stayed in our house for three weeks and took better care of our house than we take care of it. Thank you Bart and Megan!

I still don't know the next step. I knew leaving my job was the right move, what we didn't know was that Don would be laid off the day after I returned putting both of our futures into God's hands.

Update: I have finished blogging. Start at the Table of Contents. The rest of the posts appear on the day they took place.