Mistakenly Thought We Had More Time

In November 2020 after a week of wondering who won the election I shared I finally felt I could breath again. I meant it. After living under #45's thumb I saw hope for the first time in four years. After living with the cloud of COVID hanging over our heads, I thought we were finally coming out on the other side. With the adults back in charge, life would get better.

In many ways, life did get better, but the cloud called #45 continued to hover. First it was his insistence he was the real winner. Then the insurrection on January 6, 2021 when his followers stormed the Capitol Building rather than let the official counting take place. 

About the only time he was not a negative presence was on January 20th when he and Melania vacated The White House. Sure he fired the official butler in the process meaning the door was not opened to Joe and Jill when they came home, but that was minor.

Congress voted to impeach him, but the Senate dragged their feet. By the time they got around to voting on it, they said it didn't matter because he was no longer President. 

Followed by years of no one standing up to him.

Almost no one. One court case found him guilty of paying hush money to Stormy Daniels, and lying about it. Many months of delays about his sentencing, ended 10 days before he is about to take office when he got a slap on the wrist, and the official title of Felon.

Nearly four years of him sucking up the air surrounding the news. 

We did not get to enjoy the peace we should have with Sleepy Joe at the helm because #45, and soon to be #47, was spewing lies and hatred at every opportunity. The truth has no space to live. The truth does not matter. 

In nine days he takes over again. The felon is given the nuclear codes. The felon can fill his cabinet with people who are only in it for themselves.

I feel hopeless as this takes place. The only solution I have come up with is leaving the country as often as possible. Starting on January 20.

This feels worse than when he took office the first time because this time he has Senate, House, and the Supreme Court on his side, and because he knows the rules.

And yet, nearly half of the voters elected him. Another group decided to sit out the election. And another group of elitists decided to vote third party.

As Los Angeles burns and #45/47 is placing blame, people are losing their lives and their homes. They are lucky #46 was still in charge. The next state will not be so lucky.

The world is in for a rocky ride. May we have free elections in 2026 and flip the House and Senate. May we flip the White House in 2028. May we all survive that long.

Triggers

While walking around museums in Australia, I noticed a trigger warning sign. I thought I took a picture of one, but I am not seeing it in my notes. To paraphrase it said: Warning to Aboriginal People: This Exhibit Contains Images of Dead People.

The sign made me stop and think.

A trigger warning that a museum exhibit might contain images of people who have died. Further research shows it is common to have the trigger warning on television shows, with the addendum that their voices might be also be included.

I thought about other triggers. Fireworks for those suffering from PTSD. Sexual abuse, mental illness, self-harm, and suicide warnings appear before movies and television shows.  

The more I think about trigger warnings, the more I realize everything could be triggering.

Especially when I was first diagnosed with diabetes, seeing images of decadent desserts put me in a mental tailspin. 

These days, it is not desserts but the former/future president. It was bad before the election, but in the days following hearing his name or voice, or seeing his image is enough to instantly sour my mood.

The worst came a few days later while relaxing at a friends' house. I felt I had spent days complaining about the election results and how upset I was for the future of our nation when a friend of theirs walked in wearing a T 2024 hat. I did everything I could do to not leave the room and politely shake his hand when being introduced, but a smile was too much. As soon as I could, I went in the other room and packed up. If I could have called a cab and slept at the airport, I probably would have.

The friends tried to apologize when they saw how hurt we were. "That's not really how he believes," but the damage was done. The friendship soured.

All because of a hat.

Do I need to walk around with a trigger warning attached to me for the next four years? Could those happy about his victory (at least until they are hurt) recognize half the country disagrees and be kind? Probably not since kindness is not a trait their leader espouses.

2024 Resolution Recap

I'm ending and starting 2025 with the flu. With all of my vaccines, how did I end up with the flu? A week later I'm not quite myself. The three lingering symptoms are a cough, a gunky nose, and a headache that takes a while for Tylenol to kick out.

Looking at last year's resolutions and vision board, I fell short in many ways. I see at the end, I didn't have a goal for professional growth, and nothing happened on that front.

1) Celebrate more: we did have a party for Don's birthday, and one for Ashley's graduation, but none for my 55th.

2) Dancing on roller skates: I'm still upright, but despite taking a beginner's class and getting out more often lately, my legs don't seem to want to do that.

3) Go out with other couples: I'd have to count, but I don't think I reached 12. We saw the Emilie and Paul; Dan and Heather; Scottie and Dave; Marlene and Jim; Jo and Andrew...anyone else? I'd love to try harder on this one in 2025.

4) Camera: I took a class and have made progress in using the settings. I signed up for an iPhone photo class in March.

5) No new to me countries. Nearly made it to Bali. *sigh*

6) Nope, no so trips.

7) A race over 5k. I did do the Spring Lake 5 miler, but walked most of it. Foot pain side lined me most of the year.

8) Writing a book. Still trying to figure out a topic.

9) Canva: did do some very basic Canva for Ewing

10) Rider: did not take a class.

11) Teaching ESL: participated in English School conversation nights.

Upon reflection, it wasn't as big a failure as I thought. I'll probably carry most of the goals over another year. Let me mull them over a little longer.

Car Club

After college I bought my first car, a Saturn SLC. It was forest green with a tan racing stripe and flip up headlights. 

I loved that car!

At the time, Saturn had a cult following. Twice they held reunions where Saturn owners gathered in Spring Hill, Tennessee. We drove "Sadie" to the second homecoming in August 1994.

It was a blast!  

The weekend included a sanitized tour of the factory and a concert by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. What I remember the most is a sea of Saturns, and people wandering around the parking lot with their clickers setting off multiple cars. At the time Saturn had two basic car types: coupe and sedan, both of which came in a rainbow of colors. Still, most people proudly brought their Saturn to the event making it nearly impossible to find yours in the grass parking lot.

The car also came with a Car Club with window decals, t-shirts, and a pledge to give a "big toothy grin" whenever we passed the dealership. I'll have to see if I can find my Saturn packet. Other than the reunion, I only remember meeting once up at the dealership on Route 1 in South Brunswick. 

Fast forward a quarter of a century and it was time for me to replace the grey Toyota Corolla with something more fun. I set my sights on a light blue Toyota Solera with a tan top. Unlike the Saturn I bought custom made for me, fresh off the assembly line, this car would be used. My car was made in 2008.

As you'd expect from an 11-year old car, there were not a lot of them floating around Lawrenceville. Still, every so often I'd see one. At least in my head, I'd wave.

A few months I go my car twin was at the jug handle by our house. We waved to each other! I've seen her car parked around town.

Last week a white Solera with a black top made a point of parking next to me. The owner came into the CVS and introduced himself. He was admiring my car. He used to have a car twin, but recently traded it for this one. He found his current car in Florida with only 30,000 miles on it -- not many for a 15 year old car.

A few days later, in the same parking lot, I met the owner of a light blue Solera with a dark blue top. She was happy to meet me, too. She said she recently replaced her top (at the same place I got mine), and had gutters put into it. The interior is the same tan as mine. When I admired her clean steering wheel, she said it is a cover she found at Dollar Tree.

Relaying this story on Facebook, a friend who lives in Princeton said she, too, has a white Solera. 

We've decided we'll wave to each other as we pass each other on the roads.

I'm calling it my secret club.

Conspiracy Theories

I offered to pick up Don's car from the mechanic where it has spent the last three following being run into by a deer. Last time I plan to ever set foot in that business! Unfortunately, they are still waiting on a part before they can finish the repair, so no names will be mentioned. 

It is a long-time family-owned repair shop. Been in business so long, the former owner fixed Don's first car in the 1970s. He was thrilled they are on our insurance company's list of preferred repair shops.

The conspiracy theories! My head was spinning faster than Joe Biden's was during his presidential debate against T. There was no chance to add logic to this man's beliefs. I had to nod and listen while his admin complained she didn't know I was coming, so she didn't have the final bill written up.

This went on about 45 minutes before she finally decided since the car wasn't 100% finished, I could just leave the deposit and she would work on the bill while waiting for the part. 

1) He can't wait until Kennedy is in office and disbands the FDA. 

2) Autism didn't exist until the 1970s when children had to get vaccinated to go to school. Vaccines have aluminum in them that is harmful. (The term autism was coined in 1799.)

3) Amish people don't have autism because they don't get vaccinated. (Snopes disbunks this.)

4) The only people who got polio were the ones who got the polio vaccine. (Why would they have created a vaccine unless the disease existed?)

It went on and on and on. 

5) A village in Iraq with mud huts that was destroyed during a bombing and everyone was given $10,000 to replace their homes out of our tax dollars. 

6) Our food has chemicals in them that harm us. All cancers can be traced back to when the food was modified. I'm sure even the cancers that existed before the food was modified.

There are kernels of truth in what he spews, but also so much misinformation. I tried to say maybe the $10,000 was for loss of life and not homes, and he said our soldiers died in the attack, too. And?

He just wanted to talk.

In about two weeks the loons will be in power. The reasonable people have to regroup, fight from the sidelines, and push hard to flip congress in 2026. It will be a long two years in the meantime.

Colonial Ball Through the Years

Nearly each day during the week between Christmas and New Year's Facebook's memory of the day was of the three of us attending the Colonial Ball during Patriot's Week in Trenton. I was actually surprised by how long this has been a tradition for our family.

Patriot's Week started about a decade ago now. That hardly seems possible. I think it took until the second year of the ball for me to bring it up to Don. He surprised me by enthusiastically saying he wanted to go. At that point none of us had Colonial attire, but he wore a tux he bought in 2000 when we had several events in a year where black tie was encouraged. 

The ball is designed as a chance for the reenactors gathering to wear their finery and hang out with each other. The public is invited for a nominal fee (this year it was $17.76 in advance, or $20 at the door). In exchange we were fed sandwiches and salads, and were given dance lessons so we had a shot of understanding what we are doing. The same caller also leads barn dances at Howell Living History farm. The steps are often similar. The barn dances, held three times a year, ask for $3 donation and are extremely kid-friendly.

In 2008 I wore a black dress and pearls. Ashley dressed up, too, as did Elizabeth, her American Girl Doll. Look how tiny Ashley is! 

In 2009, a year later two of us dressed in Colonial attire. Carin surprised us by making Ashley her own colonial gown, and a matching one for her American Girl Doll, Elizabeth. Don dusted off his tux. I cannot find the picture from 2010 or 2011, but I did blog about the 2011 ball.

 In 2012 we decided to go modern again.

In 2013 we wizened up and brought Maia for Ashley so they could dance together. This is around the time Cousin Hayden started to join us, too. My parents have been attending the ball since 2009. For each dance you need a partner. Everyone is friendly, and it is very easy to find a dance partner (especially if you are willing to learn the man's part), but both of us prefer dancing with Don. Fortunately he prefers dancing most of the dances. Note, Ashley is wearing the same dress she wore in 2009 (which she received the day after the ball in 2008), but with a skirt under it to lengthen the dress.

Patti and Neil also often join us at these dances. Patti loves dressing up.

In 2014 the ball was held at the Marriott hotel instead of at the Masonic Temple. It didn't feel the same. Again, Maia, my parents, and Hayden joined us. I also visited with Doreen, a classmate from high school, and saw other people interested in Trenton's history. 

In 2015 the ball returned to the Masonic Temple. For the first time my sister Melissa and her daughter, Aimee, joined us. This is the first year we have to place ourselves so Ashley is not blocking our faces. This was also the first year Ashley wore heels to the event.

In 2017 we did not purchase our ball tickets in time. In previous years we showed up at the door and paid $20 each (could have paid $17.76 plus fees had we purchased them in advance) and partied. That year they instituted a cap. 

In 2018 I made sure to purchase our tickets the day they went on sale. Good thing as it did sell out. The ticket price was raised to $25 each. Still a bargain for a night of dancing and light food while wearing period attire. Patti, Neil, my parents, Melissa, Hayden, and Aimee skipped it this year. It was odd just going as the four of us (three of us, plus Ashley's friend, Maia). The biggest challenge was keeping the camera safe and still dancing. Heidi (Maia's mom) has a friend (Jean) who loaned the girls their period attire. Heidi used her seamstress skills to adjust them to their tiny frames. They felt wearing the Colonial dresses would make their evening more fun. As they danced every dance (we sat out one to take pictures), alternating the man and the woman's sides, they looked like they were having fun. I brought my Colonial gown out of retirement for the event. It felt a little big on me. I remember the sleeves and bodice feeling tighter. The waist is a drawstring, and I had to bring that in further, too. The best part was we remembered many of the steps. Maybe this will be the year we go more often than the ball (there are monthly gatherings in Princeton of English Country Dancers).

My drawstring waist kept slipping

In 2019 we bought our tickets ($25 each) the day they went on sale. They sold out the morning of the ball. Maia came with us again, which is always a treat. Maia and Ashley danced every dance. Don and I had to take a couple of breathers. Our caller, Sue Dupre, threw in a new-to-us dance that required three dancers. Poor Maia was left out, but she made some other friends for the dance. We didn't recognize as many people, but that was okay. We had a lot of fun and danced the night away. One note: they 

pushed the tables to the outer edges and opened the library to give us more space to dance. The band only took a brief 10-minute break, barely long enough for us to take pictures.

2020

I don't know how long this link will be available, but in 2020 Sue Dupre gave a lovely talk in Patriot's Week (Day) about Colonial Balls. It was a sad substitute for the ball. Hoping the ball can return in 2021.

2023

After four long years, Patriot's Week decided it was safe enough to bring back the ball. I did see one person wearing a mask, but for the most part it was just like it was in 2019. Locally, there is an uptick in cases, but that wasn't the case when the decision was made. Don and I bought our tickets (now $40 each) as soon as Sue Dupre announced the ball was happening. My parents meant to, but they didn't until a couple of days in advance. Fortunately it had not yet sold out. Dad is having troubles walked, so he opted out of dancing. My foot has been bothering me, so I encouraged Don to invite my mom to dance a few with him while I sat with Dad. Maia is since married and living out West. Ashley and Anna were not interested in going.

Of note, while Colonial Attire was not required, the vast majority of attendees wore period attire, though not necessarily from the Colonial era. I did see one woman wearing the same Colonial dress that I own, making me glad I did not wear it this year. I know there should be no shame in wearing the same outfit, but my inner high schooler would have been mortified! This way, she didn't know.

Mom was happy to dance, and Dad promised to work on PT so he could join her on the dance floor next year. The staff directed him to an exit that did not involve as many stairs, making him a happy camper at the end of the night.

2024

Another year, another ball. Don was flattened by the Flu, and I couldn't someone to take his ticket, so I went with my parents (who already had tickets). Despite Dad's promise to work on his PT, he sat out all the dances while enjoying the snacks. The event was similar to past years, but caller Sue Dupre did include a special dance in honor of the 200th anniversary of General Lafayette's grand return to the United States in 1724-25.

Once again, the vast majority wore Colonial attire. We also noticed the sold out crowd is skewing younger. Rather than being the average age, or even on the young side, we are now the older people. It is encouraging for the future of the event as ticket prices are now $40 each.

With Don sick, I nearly stayed home. I glad I went, if for no other reason so mom could dance. Thankfully the foot pain I had last year did not bother me this year, but I chose the wrong shoes. Ouchie!

Colonial Ball 2024

Another year, another ball. Don was flattened by the Flu, and I couldn't someone to take his ticket at the last minute, so I went with mom and dad (who already had tickets). Despite dad's promise to work on his PT, he sat out all the dances while enjoying the snacks. The event was similar to past years, but caller Sue Dupre did include a special dance in honor of the 200th anniversary of General Lafayette's grand return to the United States in 1724-25.

Musicians

As we noticed last year, the vast majority wore Colonial attire, with a few dressed up like me and at least one person wearing business casual. I also noticed the sold out crowd is skewing younger. Rather than being the average age, or even on the young side, we are now the older people. It is encouraging for the future of the event as ticket prices are now $40 each.

With Don sick, I nearly stayed home. I glad I went, if for no other reason so mom could dance. Thankfully the foot pain I had last year did not bother me this year, but I chose the wrong shoes. Ouchie!

Some pictures:

Until next year's ball.