30th College Reunion

Last weekend Don and I did something we have not done since the weekend we met in 1989: we attended our college's reunion. Back in 1989, Don was a new member of the alumni board and I was a student worker recruited to return in June to help with the event. We still have the cups they handed out at the event. This one is used to scoop ice in our freezer.

In 1996 when I was a new alumni board member the college decided to change its name from Trenton State College to The College of New Jersey. Having this change take place literally under our noses (to the extent that the super secret off-site trustee meeting to discuss this took place in the office where I was working in Princeton Junction because one of the members of the Board of Trustees was the president of my office) even though I was on the alumni board soured our taste for the school.

I'd like to say time heals all wounds, and maybe time has softened this one, because we did agree to return to the campus. Rather than celebrating the college, though, I treated it as a celebration of friends. One fraternity member reached out to the rest of us to say their daughter is a student, they were going, and (oh, by the way) it is our 30th reunion. 

In this case, the soft sell was the perfect touch.

We met in front of Trenton Hall. Having been on campus more recently than most, and living in the area, I knew where Trenton Hall was. Used to be called Loser Hall (pronounced "lowshure" after the family who made a large donation to the alma mater), until students discovered the Loser family were losers for owning slaves. Oopsies! Pending another larger donor, I suppose, the name became Trenton Hall. Either way, it is new since our time at school.

I'm pleased to say I only had one moment of "thank God for name tags" when someone I hadn't seen in 30 years came up to me. The moment should not have existed since we are on Facebook together and I knew he was coming, but it did. Most of the others I have seen in the past three decades, one the weekend before at a different event.

The night before the big BBQ was a smaller event honoring Dr. Mayo, Don's favorite professor upon his retirement. Fortunately for us, Darrel and George were also there so we didn't have to make small talk with a bunch of strangers. It still feels odd to be in a room with a bunch of unmasked strangers without asking about vaccination status or taking a Covid test. Shifting into the endemic times.

Back to Saturday. We gathered behind Trenton Hall where Marc and Michelle's daughter gave us a golf cart tour of the campus. She kindly told us we were her best tour because we were interactive. A very polite way of saying we kept interrupting her spiel. We stopped in front of the lion to take a group picture. Unfortunately not everyone was there, but we took more pictures later. We never did finish her tour, but we did see the parts that changed since our days.

Gianna was excited to give a golf cart tour -- a perk normally reserved for upperclassmen, but offered to all to encourage them to work the reunion. The weekend before was "Lion's Day" -- the day admitted students are invited back to make their final decision.

Marc arranged for us to have a table at the reunion. The table of 8 was too small for our group of 16 (and we didn't want to split up), so we moved it outside the tent by some benches and grabbed extra chairs. Worked well. The president of the college didn't even complain when she stopped by to greet us (Kate Foster in the yellow jacket).

Moe surprised us all by singing our co-ed fraternity's theme song: Women & Men by They Might Be Giants. Unfortunately no one filmed Moe's rousing rendition. We were caught that off-guard.

Group pictures. With Roscoe: Robin, me, Theresa, Marc, Chrissy, Gail, Moe, Kevin. Don and Michelle (Kappa spouses) on the ground.

Group picture without Roscoe included Kappa families.

In alumni park, which didn't exist in our day. The school is trying to honor the various name changes. For the reunion they included both TSC and TCNJ on the shirts. A nice touch. It is frustrating, though, the bookstore only carries two styles of TSC tee shirts and two styles of TSC sweatshirts and that they are all in size small or medium. I hope they took note of how many people came back wearing TSC, even though the name change happened 26 years ago.

A rare sighting --- five of the ten founders in one place (okay, there were 15 founders, but five quit the semester I was in Paris my junior year). Often I am the only founder to make an appearance, so a group picture is a treat for me. Robin, Moe, Chrissy, Marc, and me. Go founders!

Yes, we should have taken other class group photos, but there were only three non-founders there, and they are not from the same class. It is rare, so we commemorated the experience. 

Sadly Kappa Sigma Rho died out in about ten years. We were ahead of our times with our mission: because men and women belong together.

A few stray thoughts. We all picked up effortlessly as if no time had passed. No grudges were remembered or brought up (though there must be some, I can't think of any). We all got along. No fake promises were made to get together sooner. No trying to outdo each other. We just picked up where we left off in 1992 and enjoyed the step back in time on a picture perfect day. Nothing could be better than that.

Audited a College Class and Gained an Appreciation for My Daughter

In November I read an article in our local paper about a 71-year old auditing classes at Rider University. I immediately called around and found out how I could follow in her footsteps.

It turns out it wasn't hard. Everyone (and I mean everyone) was helpful and encouraging. 

In a move that could be construed as lazy I signed up for the first class on the list: Intro to Arts Administration. It happened to be a class I hope Ashley will discover and take someday (if she does, she can have my textbook). The class is dedicated to teaching theater students how to run a small arts non-profit. Hmm...except for the part about the arts, that describes my job as a part-time director of development for a small school. 

Academically I learned a lot. The pieces of what I do and the basic steps I should take to make improvements were spelled out for me in ways I didn't fully grasp before. Many times in class I had "A-ha!" moments. How should I find more donors? See who donates to my competition. Oh, yeah. One of the top three important people in an organization is the one in charge of fundraising. Oh. Hmm. Not how I feel at work. Of course the fundraiser should be a full time staff member! 

Some of the biggest "A-ha!" moments came with how the class was taught. A couple of times a student would ask to be Zoomed into a class. A couple of times the teacher would post on Canvas (the same software Ashley uses) that he will be teaching via Zoom. He would change the syllabus on whim. Would run out of time to prep for the midterm and final, then use that time slot to review for the midterm and final, and schedule a new time for the test. I could so imagine Ashley being frustrated that her carefully organized life was being shuffled around. We started the semester wearing masks. Ended with being mask optional. Most of the traditional students wore masks. I did not (I was also sitting more than 10 feet away from anyone -- ten of us spread around a room that could easily fit 50).

I made a friend in school -- a woman working at Rider who is taking classes to earn a degree. I give her a lot of credit for following her dreams. I also appreciate her texts letting me know when class was shifting to Zoom.

The first day of class I received a parking warning for parking in the visitor's lot (um, I didn't park in the regular lot for fear of getting a ticket). I took the warning to the right building and swapped it for a piece of paper to leave on my dashboard giving me permission to park in the visitor's lot the entire semester. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to put a sticker on my convertible's small windows.

Then I asked about how to get a student ID. That was equally as easy. Equally free. I've used it to get student rates on tickets to see Rider's amazing productions. I feel as if it would be cheating to use the Student ID for other places.

Next up, paying for class. I was told where to go. They accepted my check without once calling me an old lady for paying by check in person.

The students hold doors open and say hello. People seem friendly. It was the best thing I have done for myself in a long time. A dream come true --- learning for the sake of learning and not for a test. 

Next semester Don has already chosen two classes he is interested in taking. I still have to look at the course catalogue. I'm hoping History of Theater meets at a good time.

Food of New Orleans

When I return to New Orleans (note when, not if) I hope the trip either includes a braver me or an friend who is also an omnivore. People were not exaggerating when they told me there is no such thing as a bad meal in NOLA.

Ashley was a wonderful travel companion. Her interest in trying new things was right on level with mine -- what I would grade a medium. We were both willing to try new things like gumbo, jambalaya, and po'boys, but afraid to commit to fried alligator and all sorts of seafood. In a different time (such as one with Covid is no longer a concern), we probably would have gone to an all you could eat buffet so we could sample some of the foods. That was not this trip.

Squid. Alligator. Shrimp. Octopus. Most seafood. All not happening on this trip.

If I brought a friend willing to commit to these exotic foods, maybe I would have tried them.  

At the recommendation of a friend we went to Mothers. We went early enough there was not the line they are famous for -- the line that evidently they pay people to stand in to make themselves look busier than they are.

We also ate at Hard Rock Cafe, and Horns, and the Corner Cafe near the cathedral. I let Ashley have a say in where we ate, and full control over what she ordered. She did surprise (and please) me by trying new foods.

Even airport food is tasty in New Orleans

Hot Chocolate 5k/15k

Something else that has returned are large races. Last year we signed up for the Hot Chocolate 5k/15k race for the swag as we were pretty convinced the race would be cancelled. I ran (walked/stumbled) the 15k distance through our park, in the woods, through Lawrenceville Green, over to Denow, etc. It was not pretty. I did not enjoy running that distance alone. Though Don signed up, that was the day after he received his second vaccine and he was not up for running. 

I have not even attempted that distance since then, or any distance greater than 10k. Nor do I have a desire to try that distance. I keep waiting for my running mojo to return. That's why when I was talking to Christine, my hairdresser, about whether I should sign up for the 5k or 15k distance for this year's Hot Chocolate Race and she kindly recommended the 5k distance I have not looked back.

This year I feel as if I have overcommitted myself emotionally. Grand Jury Duty really wore me out. Hosting an exchange student has been a bigger emotional strain than I expected it would be -- part of it is making sure Don does not feel neglected. Running the gala has been draining, too. I decided to treat myself with kindness, the same kindness I would tell a friend to treat themselves. I allow myself to say no without apologizing. We are all climbing out of a rough couple of years.

That said, not only did Don and I sign up for the Hot Chocolate race for the swag, we ran the Hot Chocolate Race. In the end, I am very glad we only signed up for the 5k. One reason being that the 5k ran earlier in the day, meaning it was finished earlier in the day, and we made it back home in time to join my Red Hat friends for tea without being too exhausted.

The course starts as many others do in Philadelphia -- in front of the Philadelphia Art Museum. After posing for a sunrise picture with the Rocky Statue, we were off. Somehow we were in B Corral (I think it went up to H) so we got a decently early start.

The race goes up the Ben Franklin Parkway, turns around, passes Boathouse Row, turns around, and ends in front of the Art Museum. It is a flat and scenic course.

The swag -- a running jacket, is "sweet," but so was the post-race food: 

Along the route I saw someone wearing a Philly Phanatic head carrying an American flag, someone juggling while running, a woman walking the race with a cane, and a man in a banana suit. To think I only took pictures while running.

We were both very impressed with how well the race was organized, and how much fun we had. Would we do it again is open to debate. Don was planning how we would do it differently next year, and I was thinking it was a one and done experience. I enjoyed the race, but we to wake up at 5 in order to get to the starting line in time. It is a lot of running around for only 5k. Maybe if I can convince myself to train for the 15k. Maybe.

Some pictures from the day:

 

March Madness 2022

For years we have referred to March as March Madness, not because of a certain basketball tournament, but because of the sheer number of plays we try to squeeze into a month. Seems most high schools have their musicals in March so as to not interfere in Spring Break. A quick search in the Pillsbury Press archives brings up 2013, 2014 did not get written, 2015, 2016, and 2017. I don't see posts for 2018 and 2019, and, of course, 2020's March Madness was cut short due to Covid.

While we enjoy seeing shows year-round March has become the month where Ashley was involved with shows at SAS and ND. Plus friends and their children were involved with plays.

This March I saw:

February 27 and 28: Miss You Like Hell at Muhlenberg -- Ashley was the stage manager. (practically March)

March 12: Bye, Bye Birdie at Notre Dame High School. It was a treat not knowing the drama behind the scenes and being able to sit back and enjoy the show.

March 26: Princeton High School's musical Curtains, starring Isabelle (my friend Laura's daughter).

March 27: Rider University's Showcase

March 31: Lawrence High School's production of Once Upon a Mattress.

By the end of the month I feel as if I was finally hitting my stride. While this year I saw a lot less shows (Don only went to one with me), it was far more than we have have been able to see since 2019. Live theater is returning. May we never lose that feeling of awe when the curtain rises again.

He Is Risen!

One of the pandemic losses has been the end of our beloved WiNK (Worship in a New Key) church service. It was a lifeline during the pandemic as we met on person and were a support system for each other. We still reach out to each other when we need prayers. When we began to meet again in person, it didn't gain traction. One couple moved out of state. A few weeks I was the only parishioner. The church is rebranding the service and in its new form at 11:30 am it is thriving. 

The transitioning of the service has left us feeling adrift as Presbyterians. I haven't been able to reconnect to online services or bring myself to worship at the traditional service. For Palm Sunday, though, I made an exception. I'm glad I did. Don and I then returned to church for Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunrise Service, and the 10 am Easter Traditional Service, all at the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville.

I realized I miss worshipping in person. Don realized he enjoys Pastor Jeff's sermons. 

I don't know the answer. I'm still not thrilled with the timing, but I'm also not interested in online worship anymore. I want to worship in a community. Since no one else in the area seems to have an evening worship service, we'll have to go with what is offered.

It truly felt like a blessing to be able to worship again in person. May we not lose ground in this pandemic.

He Is Risen Indeed!

Exchange Student Update

With the end of the third marking period behind us, we are now entering the final quarter as being exchange parents. Youth for Understanding started the year optimistically anticipating it would be as it was before, including having three (mandatory) in-person gatherings as check-ins, as opportunities to bond with other host families. 

The first session was soon switched to virtual. I did attend, but got nothing out of it. The second session was optional. I tuned in for a bit, but left early. The third one is a pre-recorded session I will likely not even attempt to participate in.

One of the things I remember most from my year in Belgium was meeting other exchange students. I'm still in touch with some, and have seen a few over the decades. I'm glad the Valhalla (NY) High School trip happened for Yoran as it was the only opportunity for him to meet other exchange students. ("Belgian" flag signed by other exchange students, classmates, and people I met that year. A gift from my host mother.)

I was glad he had the opportunity to make some new friends. I wish there had been more opportunities for me. Personally, I finally appreciated how much those weekends must have meant to my host parents, a tiny respite. Don and I went on a date night to Grounds for Sculpture, and met Ashley to redeem our dinner with the dean (an opportunity we won at Parents Weekend, sadly a photo was not taken). It was nice not having to plan a few days around when he needed to be picked up.

People ask how the experience is going. Honestly, it is going very well. The next question is would we do this again. Honestly, the answer is no. We are tired of following the school calendar, of having a non-driver in the house. He is a great person. I've followed up with his teachers and coaches and they assure me he is a wonderful asset to the high school. The exchange program was on hold for a few years (I think they had an issue with a former exchange student, though that has not been confirmed.) Based on Yoran, they have no right to suspend the program again.

Here is what his swim coaches said about him at the Swim Banquet: 

We wanted to give a special award for this swimmer in an immense thank you for his contribution to the team. Even though he was ineligible to swim in meets, he attended the most practices of everyone and consistently worked hard in the pool. He has great team spirit and volunteered himself to help out the team by managing meets, teaching other people how to manage and back up time whenever we needed him. He truly was a great teammate to everyone and his presence from just one year on the team will be greatly missed. We can only hope that other swimmers would follow in his footsteps as he was the perfect role model for a good teammate. Honorable mention to having the best belly flop the team has ever seen. We would like to present the Ser-Best Teammate award to Yoran Serbest. 

 

Though he wasn't allowed to compete due to his having already graduated from high school, he was an asset to the team. He missed perfect attendance by attending a funeral for my Great Aunt (which they understood). He helped his team anyway possible. At the end of the season he swam in a couple of matches, after the championship games when they were able to forfeit his points.

Parent teacher conferences echo these sentiments -- he is friendly, participates in class, and is a nice person.

This season tennis is his sport. He enjoys tennis more than swimming, but recognizes swimming is better overall for his body. Tennis is more active, and more fun. As a spectator, swimming is indoors, thus not dependent on the weather.
 

In June his parents will arrive and take him on a tour of the western part of the United States. I suspect with the advances in technology, it will be easier to keep in touch than it was for me back in the late 1980s.