Hiding Our True Colors -- in a socially acceptable way

On Monday morning (June 22) hair salons opened up again in the state of New Jersey. Thirteen weeks without a hair appointment was a long time. I was lucky. I went a few days before they shut down. Many others were not so lucky.

When I heard the restrictions were being lifted I called my salon. I lucked into the first appointment. When I got there I learned someone pushed their way ahead of me, but then canceled that morning, so I stayed their first customer.

Before

The length didn't bother me, but the texture was feeling off. As was the color.

The inside of the salon was pretty much the same. They said they spaced out the chairs, but it felt similar. Still felt safe. They are having less people in the room at a time, but since I always go on off-peak times, it felt normal to me.

We both wore our masks. I changed masks to keep hair dye off of my pretty mask. I will note there seemed to be a $20 surcharge I was not told about (which is why I am not listing their name). I still double tipped to make up for the long time, but won't tip as generously next time. It might have been a blow dry fee because my stylist asked if I wanted my hair dried (something she has never asked me before). I didn't care, but as an artist I know she enjoys doing it so I said yes. If that's the case, I wish she had been up front about it.



After 

 I made my next appointment for August.

Dining Out

More than 100 days ago Governor Murphy shuttered restaurants in the state of New Jersey. Within a couple of weeks restaurants started to provide take out, which was a help both to their bottom line and to our taste buds. Still, it is not the same as ordering off of a menu and having someone serve you.

In some ways take out felt like more work. There was research involved. Which restaurants are open? What are they serving? What are their hours? What are their rules? Some wanted cashless transactions, other preferred cash. Some are closed days they used to be open. Some wanted to put it directly in the trunk while we stayed in the car. Others you had to go inside and pick up from their counter -- wearing a mask and limiting the number of people inside, of course.

This added to anxiety of the times.

On June 15th Governor Murphy allowed patio dining. Of course that brought its own new set of rules. Which places are open? What days are they open? Who is offering patio dining? Do you have to make a reservation? What is the menu?

The pandemic has changed all the rules, and continues to change them.

On Saturday, June 27 Ashley and I dined at Zoe's Kitchen. As that is a counter service restaurant, it was nice to eat outside, but didn't quite have the appeal of a full-service restaurant. Still, it was nice to sit outside and wait for our food.

I still wanted someplace special to celebrate Ashley's high school graduation.

I heard through the grapevine the Mountainview Country Club in Ewing was offering outside dining. Normally a catering place, they have a nice, permanently covered patio that has been converted into outside dining. I drove there because I could not find their menu on line. I found items the three of us would eat on their limited menu and asked about reservations (none needed that night).

The only other issue was the weather. It poured at 4:45 then cleared up. We thought we were safe, so we went to dinner.

Of course it poured again, but since their outside dining had a permanent cover, we were able to stay mostly dry.

It was heavenly. 

What made this more special than take out in the park, or dining at Zoe's Kitchen, was we were forced to talk to each other while someone else made our dinner. Conversation has been lacking. The feeling of lounging over a meal has been lacking (even though there isn't much to do during a pandemic). We were also finally able to celebrate Ashley's graduation from high school and make it feel like a celebration.

Ashley opening her graduation present, a necklace

A rainbow behind Ashley

Dinner at the golf course

After dinner we all agreed that was nice and we should do it again.

Truest Friends After 50

I saw this article on Grown and Flown about one woman's surprise that she made her truest friends after turning 50. I wanted to leap up and down reading it.

Last fall I turned 50. The year before I lost my best friend. I've been on a quest to find, hate to call her a replacement, but really that's how I am feeling, a new BFF.

I didn't want to post the link on my FaceBook page because I don't want to hurt the feelings of people who I feel fall more in the category of acquaintance than friend. I have plenty of people in my life if I reach out to first, will respond to me. Some will even lead to nice conversations. But no one I would consider falls in the best friend category. That person always up for a chat and a visit. The sounding board. The person who will reach out to me first about as often as I reach out to her first.

Someone who always seems happy to hear from me. Who doesn't make me feel as if I am a burden.

Our long-range plans include moving to Westerville, Ohio. Reading the article made me wonder if my new BFF, or even better a cluster of friends, is in Ohio. Time will tell. 

Opening Up

I learned last night hybrid events do not work very well. Someone ends up feeling left out.

Last night it was book club. There are nine of us. Four wanted to meet in person (and did), three wanted to Zoom (two did, the third's plans changed), one was busy, and one was out of town, but would try to Zoom (she couldn't make it).

Four of us sat in a gazebo on a lovely summer evening. Two joined us on Zoom.

The four of us instantly got caught up catching up. It was like old times, except we did so from at least six feet away. We could split off to two talking at a time, something that is impossible to do with a regular Zoom meeting.

Within a respectable amount of time one woman asked "When are we going to talk about the books?" Books? Oh, yeah, the purpose of a book club. Given that the library is still closed, this time we did free reading. Each person talked about a book or two or three she has read during the Corona quarantine and tell us the good and bad parts, whether or not we recommend it, and anything else that comes to mind. We were so caught up in conversation we forgot the purpose. If we were all meeting together, it would have been the normal course. 

I'll admit to feeling a little chastised when the women dialing it in mentioned we forgot about them (we also could not situation the laptop so they could see all of us). We offered to let them know when we are ready to talk books, but they were done. The way I often feel when I'm on a Zoom call, especially one that lasts more than an hour.

Meanwhile, the four of us enjoyed being together again.

And the other two felt left out.

I see this is how life will be "for the foreseeable future." Some are ready to emerge from the cocoon of Corona virus, and some are not. As numbers are spiking throughout the country, the stay at home people have valid concerns. Texas just had a one day record of 9,000 cases. Locally, though, New Jersey had 500 new cases after our peak of 4,000 over a month ago.

People from Texas, Florida, Utah, Arizona, California, Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, and Washington, will have to self-quarantine for 14 days when they come into New York, New Jersey, or Connecticut. The list will change daily based on each state's infectious rate.  Seems only fair since when Florida's numbers were low they imposed the same rule on New Jerseyans. It also seems a bit tit-for-tat and highly impossible to control. 

The virus is not going anywhere anytime fast. 

Back to my initial statement about hybrid events. I am continuing to work on the postponed gala. The plan is to make it a hybrid event -- silent auction online, dinner in person. I'll have to carefully consider whether or not to make any of it hybrid. My initial thought was the live auction should be done both online and in-person. Now I wonder if that's a good idea. Should we live stream the speakers and dancers, or will that feel forced? Does it make any sense to get together in person at all? Will people be willing to gather in person again in November? Are those days in the past until we have a proven vaccine?

No answers, just lots of questions.

Graduations in 2020

Many schools have been working hard to create memorable graduations in a year where what they have always done just don't work. They have reinvented the traditional ceremonial send-off. 

Notre Dame, and others in our area, created a photo shoot, where each student was photographed and/or videotaped crossing the stage. Certainly the photos are better than anything we would have captured in a large ceremony, but Ashley still missed seeing her friends and teachers. We look forward to the July 18th on-field graduation ceremony (or as I call, Graduation Part 3).

As I learn about other places, I will add them to this list for posterity. 

Millville High School had a parade through town, ending with a lap on the racetrack.

In New Hampshire, and other places, graduation took place on a ski lift. This became the first time classmates saw each other in person since the virus shut down their school.

Some schools created giant posters of their graduates. I saw these images on FaceBook, but now can't find one to share.

If you hear of other creative solutions, please share in the comments.   

All Good Things Must Come to an End

There have been some good things that have come out of our period of quarantine. 

There have been birthday parades, lawn signs, teachers visiting students, community art, sidewalk chalk, and more time to spend outside. A consultant set up free weekly sessions on how we can all shift our fundraising to match the new times. Nina and Sue Ann have played the Lawrenceville School's carillon at 4 pm daily.

As we slowly reopen, and New Jersey seems like it is reopening the slowest, these quarantine treats are coming to an end. 

Today is the last weekday carillon performance, though they plan to continue to play on Sunday afternoons.

Today is also the last birthday parade (to coincide with the last day of school).

Next week is the last weekly fundraising pep talk.

Hopefully young artists will continue to decorate the park.

Meanwhile, the bathroom at the park will reopen by July 1. Outdoor dining started on Monday (why haven't I gotten there yet?). The library will start curbside pick up (not a day too early since I have finally gone through the 50 books I brought home when this all started).

More can be written about the wide range of emotions, but that will be another post.

I'm thankful for the ways strangers made these times more bearable. They have been amazing role models.

Still, even though half of the states have failed in their attempts to reopen, I am hopefully New Jersey will do better because our plan is much slower, and because this is where I live.

Preaching in WiNK

I love our WiNK service. There is nothing quite like it anywhere.

WiNK stands for Worship in a New Key. The service is grounded in PC/USA tradition, yet with really fun music. Some weeks it is bluegrass, other weeks gospel, other weeks Celtic, and so on. 

What makes it fun is it is truly a "come as you are service." Many places (including this same church's Sunday morning service) will say that, but when I showed up in a brightly colored dress on a beautiful Spring day that was also Good Friday, and everyone else wore somber black clothes, it doesn't always feel that way. (Will note, the following year I wore a dark outfit, and noticed some others wearing brightly colored outfits, so maybe it was okay.)

A few years ago when I saw our intern preach wearing shorts and sandals on a warm sunny day and no one batted an eye, I knew this service truly was "come as you are." I do clean up from my Sunday afternoon activity, but I no longer dress up for church, and it feels nice. I can be myself and still be loved. We all talk to each other. The services tend to be more interactive, and definitely more intimate with about 30 worshipers instead of well over 100. We tend to move the chairs around to fit the preaching style, something that you can't do with fixed pews.

In a normal year, which as we all know this isn't, WiNK meets from mid-September through Memorial Day. WiNK changed after we mad the move to be fully virtual. No more music. Instead it turned into a weekly check-in. Everyone is encouraged to talk and share what is on our hearts. Instead of 30 people, we are down to 10 in a good week, often only six. But those 10 people are getting to know each other on a deeper level.

Us mighty few wanted to continue worshiping past Memorial Day. We wanted to do it in a way that did not create extra work for the staff, which is already being stretched with creating new ways to worship virtually. 

One change is we will only worship every other week (I think we agreed to every other week as opposed to twice a month, which gets confusing with a five Sunday month). The other big change is we would rotate choosing a scripture and "preaching," so as to give our staff a break.

I volunteered for the first service. I chose Joel 2:19-32.

I preached to the other five people who came last Sunday. More people might read this on my blog than heard it in person. 

My sermon is as follows: 

I was recently reading a book called "Sixteen Brides" by Grace Whitson. The book is about Civil War widows moving to Nebraska to start new lives. The plot is not that important, because it isn't really that good of a book. I bring it up because each of the 30 chapters begins with a snippet of scripture. I'll admit for the first 20 or so chapters I didn't even notice that. Nor did I realize unitl now that some of the scriptures are repeated.

There is the gem, Isaiah 55:8: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neighter are your ways my ways."

And Psalm 86:15: "But thou, Oh Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious long-suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth."

And Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Then I came across Chapter 29: Joel 2:25: "And I will restore to you the years that the locusts hath eaten...."

I will admit I've never heard of the book of Joel. It is all of three chapters long (well, four in the Jewish tradition). His is the second of the 12 minor prophets, minor in length, found in the Old Testament.

We know very little about Joel beyond his name, and his father's name (Pethuel -- verse 1:1).

So why did I choose this passage?

1) I bet none of you have heard a sermon on it, therefore you have no preconceived notions of what I should talk about.

2) Seriously, as we leave what the French have called this a period of confinement, and we call quarantine, I found it encouraging to read that the Lord restored the people during Joel's time. He will restore us again even as we suffer globally from massive unemployment and nationally from racism in ways most of us white people have never faced head on.

3) One scholar places Joel around 800 BC (though another places him during the Second Temple, 616 BC to 70 AD). Many of you know last summer I spent four weeks on an archaeological dig in Israel (though not in Judah where these verses take place). During the dig we found pottery dating from the 8th century BC. I touched pottery and other items from that time period. I brought a few home with me. Complete rejects deemed not exciting enough to save.

Let's dive into the text a little bit. The people in Joel's time had been attacked by locusts. We tend to think about swarms of locusts as a problem from Biblical times. The closest we can relate to are when the 17-year cicadas make their reappearance, which should be again soon. This year killer locusts are making a resurgence in West Africa. According to a Business Insider article from January 22, which is complete with gruesome images, "each locust in a swarm can eat its own weight in food per day. A small portion of an average swarm eats around the same amount as 10 elephants or 2,500 people."

Almost makes what we are going through with the Corona virus feel manageable.

During Joel's time many prophets were telling people exactly what they wanted to hear ... this will soon pass, don't worry about it, etc.

Sound familiar.

Enter Joel.

Okay, not that Joel, but it is hard to find an image of Joel from biblical times, and I'm a Billy Joel fan. Much better than the images I saw of locusts attacking people.

Joel tells it like it is. These are tough times. We will face a terrible plague. This is the time to fast, mourn, and repent. He encourages people in Judah and Jerusalem to weep over their sins, to fast because the day of the Lord is near. Who really wants to hear THAT message when others were saying what they wanted to hear?

The plague did come and was devastating.

The locusts came and darkened the sky and destroyed everything until the land was left barren.

In the second half of Chapter 2 Joel swoops in again with today's reading and fills the people of Israel with hope. "He took pity on his people."

"I am sending you grain, new wine, and olive oil, enough to satisfy you fully; never again will I make you an object of scorn to the nations."

These are exactly the words I need to hear as we open up the world again. They are the words I want to believe.

"Do not be afraid, land of Judah, be glad and rejoice. Surely the Lord has done great things. Do not be afraid, you wild animals, for the pastures in the wilderness are becoming green. The trees are bearing fruit; the fig tree and the vine yield their riches."

Over the past 12 weeks we have continued to drive in to Princeton nearly every week to pick up food from our favorite Chinese restaurant, Tiger Noodle. I want my favorite small businesses to survive (and thrive). I worry about the racism towards Chinese (even though this Chinese restaurant is owned by family from Taiwan) because "they" brought the Corona virusl to the world. And so each week we drive to Princeton. In the beginning our 20 minute drive took 10 minutes because the roads were THAT clear. We nearly saw a fox saunter down Nassau Street. Even last week we had a Socially Distant photo shoot at Princeton University with Ashley in her prom dress and cap and gown. There were no other people in our pictures in the normally crowded Prospect Gardens. There were some people, but we were taking pictures on what was slated to be Reunion Weekend. The area should have been covered with people wearing the most hideous Orange and Black jackets imaginable. Yet, there was no one.

This weekend we returned to Princeton to pick up some chocolate -- a huge weakness in my life. With the lockdown lifted, we were back to a 20-minute drive to Princeton and having to search for a parking space.

It was nice.

I felt I could see God's promises coming to life before my eyes.

Even as we hear about the numbers spiking in about half of the country, here in bucolic Lawrenceville we are slowly coming back to life. Tomorrow we can enjoy outdoor dining again -- I'll give you one guess as to where we'll be dining. In another week we can hide our true colors in a socially acceptable way on the tops of our heads as we visit our hair salons.

On field graduations are being set for July. We felt the love Notre Dame put into creating a virtual graduation for the Class of 2020, but look forward to the graduates gathering one more time on July 18. In the end, THAT is what they wanted -- to see their friends and teachers. I'm not sure if parents will be allowed to attend, but it is no longer about us, it is about them seeing everyone one more time. To say their good-byes. To have their closure.

"Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God," (23)

"The threshing floors will be filled with grain, the vats will overflow with new wine and oil." (24)

And now we come to the verse I read in the book, the one that planted the seed for this sermon: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten ... you will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will PRAISE THE NAME OF THE LORD YOUR GOD who has worked wonders for you." (25-26)

It may have only been a few months, but there are times it felt like years, especially with the anticipation as we open up the world we will be sealing it up again and returning to another period of confinement.

I take comfort that God will restore us, both from racism and from economic ruin. I'll be honest, I don't know how. I also don't see how it is possible. I do know that God loves us. It is not easy to trust him when the world is a mess.

I like the next section, too "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people." (28) Won't that be a wonderful time?

According to Joel's prophecy life will get scary before it becomes wonderful again. Aren't we seeing that with protests over police brutality, and riots, and the rising number of Corona deaths? Life is scary, but Joel chapter 2 ends with: "And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

As the world opens up both economically and with the lifting of our eyes to the suffering of our black brothers and sisters, let us remember it is God who is in charge and has promised to restore us.

Amen.

An addendum ... during the discussion we talked about the blood moon (v. 31: the sun will be turned to darkness, and the moon to blood, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.) Turns out the next blood moon will be May 26, 2021 -- three days after Pentecost, the day Christians celebrate as the founding of the church. Pretty amazing timing.

A second addendum ... Joel chapter 2 is divided into two chapters in the Jewish tradition, thus making it a four book chapter instead of a three book one.

Encouraging Words

A lot of good is coming out of this pandemic, but sometimes it is hard to see or to appreciate.

One of the good things has been the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville's Encouraging Word series of videos. Each weekday at 7 am the video is emailed to their subscribers. In the worst of the pandemic, I would wait until I could watch the video before getting out of bed. Perhaps as a sign that life is improving with the removal of the Governor's Stay at Home orders I've started my day before the Encouraging Word, which is good because they are no longer happening every day.

I created this post so I could have links to some of my favorite Encouraging Words:

Some Good News Lawrenceville -- WINK Pastor Kyle Anderson highlighted stories about Good News in our town, including Ashley's teacher visiting her

It's a VUCA World Out There -- Associate Pastor Louise Johnson talks about how congregations like ours can move forward: 1) expect a start and stop society, 2) long-term economic downturn, 3) greater reliance on technology, and 4) a hybrid society https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uAKQXagwms

Passover During Coronavirus -- Rabbi Elisa Goldberg talks about finding ourselves in narrow places during these times

Theology of Communion -- Associate Pastor Louise Johnson talks about taking the Lord's Supper virtually, and why.

The First In A Series -- Pastor Jeff Vamos introduces the series. "God would never let this happen to us, but it did happen," when Jeremiah was the sole prophet saying we'll be in exile a long time. "We all want it to be over now, but it seems like it may not be." Seek the peace of shalom in these times.

How the Virus Stole Easter -- Associate Pastor Louise Johnson. Perhaps my favorite for the whimsy. A nod to Dr. Seuss.

Coffee, Groundhogs, & Groundhog -- by member Elizabeth Ferguson. Her whole family did a 4-part series about God in nature. I love this one because she has obvious joy reading "let them sing for joy on their couches."

Personal notes are the best! -- Parishioner Tracey Gates talks about the year she set a goal of writing a personal note a day to someone to express her gratitude for her. Started with people close to her, over the year it changed to people she had a positive experience with.

I'm ready to give up -- Associate Pastor Kyle Anderson talks about building his patio as a metaphor about life and sometimes we feel like giving up when life gets hard, but we shouldn't.

What will they say about us? -- Associate Pastor Kyle Anderson ruminates about what will future generations say about how we spread God's love.

A few tips from the wood shop -- Pastor Jeff takes us into his work shop using wood and the hidden treasures found inside of wood as an analogy for the hidden treasures in each of us.

It's Not You, It's Me -- Pastors Jeff and Kyle announce they are taking the month of August off from providing "Encouraging Words." They promise to return in September.


All of them are good. These are ones that met me exactly where I was when I was reading it. 

Enjoy!

2020 George Bailey Graduations

I recently read an essay in Grown and Flown that called this year's graduations reminiscent of the final scene in It's a Wonderful Life where George Bailey realizes he has friends, which is the most important part of life.

Ashley with her show parent

I'll get into the meat of the story in a moment, but first a picture from when Ashley was Zuzu in Somerset Valley Players' 2009 production of It's a Wonderful Life.

In the movie the community shows up for George because George always showed up for them. You leave with a tear in your eyes and feeling good because no matter how miserable you think your life is, there are people who care about you. 

As Clarence the Angel said, "Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends."  

Throughout these months Ashley has stayed close to her friends. They often watch movies online "together." I picture the Class of 2020 swapping stories about this year, no matter where they went to high school. "What did you lose out on in 2020?" Will be a question they will share stories about as they make new friends in college and when they start their careers. A bonding experience, even though they were apart.

Clarence also says: "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves and awful hole, doesn't he?" 

It is as if the school felt the giant hole left when they realized the Class of 2020 would never grace the halls as students again. So they stepped up. They found ways to make senior year special. I heard countless stories of teachers and coaches driving to their students' homes to deliver gifts and awards. 

I feel as if Notre Dame was the first school in this area to give each senior a lawn sign -- a project that spread to just about every high school senior, then to 8th grade, grade school, kindergarten, and pre-school graduate. You can't drive more than a block without seeing a handful of these signs.

Ashley's school still put on the Spring Show, held Senior Awards Night, and had a wonderful photo shoot for graduation. Teachers sent her letters saying their good-byes, too. Chebra, the Tech guy, must be exhausted. 

Quoted in the article: "Seniors have watched their communities come together for them" It continues to say "You witnessed humanity."

Yes, it was different, and not what anyone wanted, but across the country you can see schools tried their hardest to make this milestone special. We saw staff and teachers also hurt that they couldn't give the seniors all those rites of passage they should have had, and now will never get.

My senior wouldn't wish this senior year on future classes, frankly I think everyone would be burnt out if this became the new standard. Everyone tried to be upbeat for the seniors, and being sad when they weren't around, but when we went for Swag Bag pick up days, there was sadness in their eyes. 

Educators like to be around students. While wonderful they could teach virtually, they prefer to see their students (exceptions to every statement, of course). Students and teachers missed those little moments, but they know their teachers really care about them.

The graduates had their "George Bailey Moment." May they all have a wonderful life.

Dinner at the Car Hop

I love seeing how businesses are trying to adjust with the times. Those who reinvent themselves will succeed. Others are likely to fail because of lack of business.

I think all along New Jersey has allowed take out. Some restaurants decided to wait until indoor dining returned. Others embraced take out immediately, but with modified hours. Still others waited until they had their ducks in a row before offering dining.

The Brookwood Cafe falls in the latter category.

The Brookwood Cafe is a great breakfast/brunch/lunch cafe open seven days a week. While waiting out the COVID storm they realized that model would not work.

They started by offering afternoon take out five days a week.

A couple of weeks ago they added Sunday Car Hop nights. We pictured The Flintstones scene Fred getting the giant rack of brontosaurus and the entire car tipping over. Well trays are deemed unsanitary, so no trays.

They do pipe 50s music in the parking lot and the waitresses dance around smiling the entire time. Not the business model or menu they imagined, but it seems to be working.

On June 15th New Jersey will be allowed outside dining. May places that have not done that before are converting parking lots or closing streets to cars to make it happen. Fortunately it is June so we should have a few good months to see if it can be successful before the really bad weather hits.

Let's hope we can keep the curve flat and support local businesses again.
 

Graduation Part 2

In our family we celebrate birthday months. Looks like this year we'll be celebrating graduation month.

Last weekend they filmed each student graduating. Today they pieced the videos together into a graduation ceremony. 

To make it a little more festive we invited my parents over. Though we are allowed by the governor to have ten people over inside, we opted to sit in the backyard instead. Don, Ashley, and I on my laptop. My mom on her phone. My dad on his tablet. Other than a couple of photos at the end, we stayed apart and did not even hug.

Notre Dame tried, but it is still sad that last night should have been the baccalaureate mass (which many have described as the most moving of all Notre Dame events), followed by an all night party, then graduation with unlimited guests at the arena. Ashley looked a bit sad through it. I think she mostly wanted time with her friends, teachers, and acquaintances.  Time I can't give her.

Hopefully we can have a bigger celebration on July 18th when Notre Dame has said they'll gather on the football field to celebrate.

Locker Clean Out

When Ashley's school announced the dates for seniors to clean out their lockers I got a bit choked up. The finality of it all is settling in. Our hopes that they would have a chance to gather as a class were evaporating. 

All along I said if they could just have the week between end of classes and graduation, it would be okay.

They didn't get that week.


We parents got a photo shoot for graduation, but the students did not get to say their good-byes to childhoods. There are plans to celebrate on the football field on July 18th, but by then some will have moved on, and others will still be afraid of the virus.

Backstage, where she created some of her happiest memories

Empty -- just as she said, but now we are sure

With Mrs. Brydges, her art teacher and mentor

With one of her best friends, Ashley said that made it easier

No tears, just a confident walk to their new adventures

 May you soar in your new adventures. Go Irish! Go Mules!
 

80 Days

I've actually lost track of how many days we have been in lockdown. Quarantine. Confinement. Last Friday marked 11 weeks. 77 days. Using that math, we are now at 85 days.

Ugh.

Early on someone remarked the word quarantine takes it root from the number 40. At the time, 40 days of quarantine felt like an eternity. We are now at more than double that.

The purpose of this message is not to complain. I did plenty of that in the beginning. But to have a place to record my thoughts for posterity.

When the world shut down on Friday the 13th of March (the same week as we jokingly said would we survive that, the time change, and an eclipse -- we didn't) we were told the virus takes 2-14 days to manifest. If we only stood still for two weeks we would be able to contain it and move on with our lives.

LIARS!

Twelve weeks later and though it was easy to shut down businesses, it is becoming political to reopen them.

The beaches are open. Because they are safer or because they are owned by the mob?

Golf courses and tennis courts are open. Because they are truly safer than basketball courts or because they are white people sports?

Protesting is allowed, but graduations are not. Because it is important to keep our civil liberties or because no one thought to outlaw protesting?

In nine days small businesses are finally allowed to reopen. All along I thought small businesses would be safer to support than Wal-Mart, Target, and the like. Why were they allowed to sell art supplies but not the local art supply store? 

Also in nine days we can eat at outdoor restaurants. Restaurants are scrambling to create outdoor dining areas that are also socially distant. After 12 weeks of mostly cooking, or doing cold take out, I am looking forward to having someone wait on me. Can we swap Mothers Day and Fathers Day this year so I can eat without having to either cook or clean up?
 
In 16 days we can finally get hair cuts. I've heard the hold up is the air blowing 
from hairdryers. I'm looking forward to my hair cut. I would have skipped the blow dry weeks ago. 

Meanwhile anytime people see others outside (not sure now they see these people if they are inside) they predict a huge spike in numbers. 

Examples: 
* After families gathered for Easter and Passover, there will be a huge spike in numbers.
* After the protests, the numbers will spike.
* After stores reopen, the numbers will spike. 
* If we celebrate graduations, the numbers will spike.

Something forgotten over the past twelve weeks of confinement (I like the French term), the goal was to flatten the curve. There was zero chance of eliminating Coronavirus until we have a vaccine and a cure. Even then, it will likely be with us just like the regular flu.

The goal was to not overwhelm our healthcare system.

As we reopen the world, as people travel again, as we gather again, may we do so aware that the virus is still thriving. So we'll wear our masks when we are inside buildings (not while getting our teeth cleaned or other obvious places). We'll avoid hugging a little longer. We'll stay out of theaters and stadiums (hopefully they can recover). We'll continue to write a new narrative.

Meanwhile let's have more in-person conversations. Let's enjoy the beautiful weather. Let's continue to find ways to celebrate.

Graduation Part 1

Many schools are offering virtual graduations. Notre Dame really set the bar high with a photo op.

Everyone was friendly. They asked us to take off our masks before stepping into the stadium. As long as we waited for the group before us to finish, it was safe.

There were several stations.

1) In the waiting zone.

2) With a professional photographer, backdrop football field with 20:20 illuminated on the scoreboard (sometimes it is the little things). Our first time on the football field. They even used our camera to take a picture of the three of us, and later gave us a piece of paper with information for retrieving the professional pictures. Oh, a shamrock photo prop.

3) The podium. They patiently gave Ashley her instructions. No handshakes, and they did not hand her the diploma, but the principal and president also did not wear masks (standing far behind her). 

4) Then we waited behind a curve for the final professional photographer spot.

5) Professional photographer with serious equipment. Can't wait to see that shot!

Not feeling rushed, we walked around taking more pictures.

"Her" parking spot

Bathroom break

It was lovely. Better than I would have imagined when it was first proposed. We do have some fabulous pictures. But (you knew a but was coming) it does not replace being able to say good-bye to your friends and favorite teachers. On Thursday we return to clean out the locker and collect Ashley's art work. They are encouraging the students to bring a parent. I'll be crying through that.

I wonder if this will become a new tradition, but in addition to the mass graduation. It helped that the weather has been picture perfect the past three days. Also helped that the stress about the virus is fading (unfortunately the night before there was looting in Trenton, only a few miles away).

Still hoping for an on-field graduation ceremony in July, even if it is only for the students.

UPDATE: We learned yesterday an on-field graduation is scheduled for July 18. How that shapes up will depend on how the virus behaves and what the governor allows.