30th College Reunion

Last weekend Don and I did something we have not done since the weekend we met in 1989: we attended our college's reunion. Back in 1989, Don was a new member of the alumni board and I was a student worker recruited to return in June to help with the event. We still have the cups they handed out at the event. This one is used to scoop ice in our freezer.

In 1996 when I was a new alumni board member the college decided to change its name from Trenton State College to The College of New Jersey. Having this change take place literally under our noses (to the extent that the super secret off-site trustee meeting to discuss this took place in the office where I was working in Princeton Junction because one of the members of the Board of Trustees was the president of my office) even though I was on the alumni board soured our taste for the school.

I'd like to say time heals all wounds, and maybe time has softened this one, because we did agree to return to the campus. Rather than celebrating the college, though, I treated it as a celebration of friends. One fraternity member reached out to the rest of us to say their daughter is a student, they were going, and (oh, by the way) it is our 30th reunion. 

In this case, the soft sell was the perfect touch.

We met in front of Trenton Hall. Having been on campus more recently than most, and living in the area, I knew where Trenton Hall was. Used to be called Loser Hall (pronounced "lowshure" after the family who made a large donation to the alma mater), until students discovered the Loser family were losers for owning slaves. Oopsies! Pending another larger donor, I suppose, the name became Trenton Hall. Either way, it is new since our time at school.

I'm pleased to say I only had one moment of "thank God for name tags" when someone I hadn't seen in 30 years came up to me. The moment should not have existed since we are on Facebook together and I knew he was coming, but it did. Most of the others I have seen in the past three decades, one the weekend before at a different event.

The night before the big BBQ was a smaller event honoring Dr. Mayo, Don's favorite professor upon his retirement. Fortunately for us, Darrel and George were also there so we didn't have to make small talk with a bunch of strangers. It still feels odd to be in a room with a bunch of unmasked strangers without asking about vaccination status or taking a Covid test. Shifting into the endemic times.

Back to Saturday. We gathered behind Trenton Hall where Marc and Michelle's daughter gave us a golf cart tour of the campus. She kindly told us we were her best tour because we were interactive. A very polite way of saying we kept interrupting her spiel. We stopped in front of the lion to take a group picture. Unfortunately not everyone was there, but we took more pictures later. We never did finish her tour, but we did see the parts that changed since our days.

Gianna was excited to give a golf cart tour -- a perk normally reserved for upperclassmen, but offered to all to encourage them to work the reunion. The weekend before was "Lion's Day" -- the day admitted students are invited back to make their final decision.

Marc arranged for us to have a table at the reunion. The table of 8 was too small for our group of 16 (and we didn't want to split up), so we moved it outside the tent by some benches and grabbed extra chairs. Worked well. The president of the college didn't even complain when she stopped by to greet us (Kate Foster in the yellow jacket).

Moe surprised us all by singing our co-ed fraternity's theme song: Women & Men by They Might Be Giants. Unfortunately no one filmed Moe's rousing rendition. We were caught that off-guard.

Group pictures. With Roscoe: Robin, me, Theresa, Marc, Chrissy, Gail, Moe, Kevin. Don and Michelle (Kappa spouses) on the ground.

Group picture without Roscoe included Kappa families.

In alumni park, which didn't exist in our day. The school is trying to honor the various name changes. For the reunion they included both TSC and TCNJ on the shirts. A nice touch. It is frustrating, though, the bookstore only carries two styles of TSC tee shirts and two styles of TSC sweatshirts and that they are all in size small or medium. I hope they took note of how many people came back wearing TSC, even though the name change happened 26 years ago.

A rare sighting --- five of the ten founders in one place (okay, there were 15 founders, but five quit the semester I was in Paris my junior year). Often I am the only founder to make an appearance, so a group picture is a treat for me. Robin, Moe, Chrissy, Marc, and me. Go founders!

Yes, we should have taken other class group photos, but there were only three non-founders there, and they are not from the same class. It is rare, so we commemorated the experience. 

Sadly Kappa Sigma Rho died out in about ten years. We were ahead of our times with our mission: because men and women belong together.

A few stray thoughts. We all picked up effortlessly as if no time had passed. No grudges were remembered or brought up (though there must be some, I can't think of any). We all got along. No fake promises were made to get together sooner. No trying to outdo each other. We just picked up where we left off in 1992 and enjoyed the step back in time on a picture perfect day. Nothing could be better than that.

Audited a College Class and Gained an Appreciation for My Daughter

In November I read an article in our local paper about a 71-year old auditing classes at Rider University. I immediately called around and found out how I could follow in her footsteps.

It turns out it wasn't hard. Everyone (and I mean everyone) was helpful and encouraging. 

In a move that could be construed as lazy I signed up for the first class on the list: Intro to Arts Administration. It happened to be a class I hope Ashley will discover and take someday (if she does, she can have my textbook). The class is dedicated to teaching theater students how to run a small arts non-profit. Hmm...except for the part about the arts, that describes my job as a part-time director of development for a small school. 

Academically I learned a lot. The pieces of what I do and the basic steps I should take to make improvements were spelled out for me in ways I didn't fully grasp before. Many times in class I had "A-ha!" moments. How should I find more donors? See who donates to my competition. Oh, yeah. One of the top three important people in an organization is the one in charge of fundraising. Oh. Hmm. Not how I feel at work. Of course the fundraiser should be a full time staff member! 

Some of the biggest "A-ha!" moments came with how the class was taught. A couple of times a student would ask to be Zoomed into a class. A couple of times the teacher would post on Canvas (the same software Ashley uses) that he will be teaching via Zoom. He would change the syllabus on whim. Would run out of time to prep for the midterm and final, then use that time slot to review for the midterm and final, and schedule a new time for the test. I could so imagine Ashley being frustrated that her carefully organized life was being shuffled around. We started the semester wearing masks. Ended with being mask optional. Most of the traditional students wore masks. I did not (I was also sitting more than 10 feet away from anyone -- ten of us spread around a room that could easily fit 50).

I made a friend in school -- a woman working at Rider who is taking classes to earn a degree. I give her a lot of credit for following her dreams. I also appreciate her texts letting me know when class was shifting to Zoom.

The first day of class I received a parking warning for parking in the visitor's lot (um, I didn't park in the regular lot for fear of getting a ticket). I took the warning to the right building and swapped it for a piece of paper to leave on my dashboard giving me permission to park in the visitor's lot the entire semester. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to put a sticker on my convertible's small windows.

Then I asked about how to get a student ID. That was equally as easy. Equally free. I've used it to get student rates on tickets to see Rider's amazing productions. I feel as if it would be cheating to use the Student ID for other places.

Next up, paying for class. I was told where to go. They accepted my check without once calling me an old lady for paying by check in person.

The students hold doors open and say hello. People seem friendly. It was the best thing I have done for myself in a long time. A dream come true --- learning for the sake of learning and not for a test. 

Next semester Don has already chosen two classes he is interested in taking. I still have to look at the course catalogue. I'm hoping History of Theater meets at a good time.