Candlelight Services 2020 vs. 2021

2020 Muhlenberg

In 2021 we celebrated Christmas candlelight services at home via an online platform. We tried. We promised ourselves next year would be better. And for a few months it was.

We were able to gather to celebrate in person, but modified. The Muhlenberg candlelight service required pre-registration and sitting in every other pew. 

2021 Muhlenberg

But we did it! The service was lovely. Ashley's freshman roommate, Abby, sang with the women's choir. 

Next year will be even better.

2020 PTS

At the service Ashley asked us about Princeton Theological Seminary's Carols of Many Nations. I had heard it was not happening this year, but I looked online anyway. Turns out they were having it, just outside and shorter than usual (35 minutes instead of 90 minutes long). 

2021 PTS

I found out later they actually did have an indoor service. That must have been by invitation only.

We also lit candles at two Christmas Eve services. The first was at 8 PM at the Presbyterian Church of Lawrenceville. We arrived super early because they were limiting the size to 100 masked people (less than 75 came) and we wanted to be in the sanctuary.

At 11 pm we worshipped at our usual Christmas Eve home, The First Presbyterian Church of Hamilton Square with about 40 others (some wearing masks, others not so much).

First Presbyterian Church of Hamilton Square

While it is great to be worshipping in person again this year, the sharp rise of the Omicron variant has everyone worried. Some churches are announcing they are returning to virtual for the next couple of weeks. So far our churches are planning to meet in person, but that can change between now and Sunday.

Hopewell's Turkey Trot

In an effort to motivate myself to go running again, I signed up for the Hopewell 5K Turkey Trot, a race I have done a couple of other times, in 2017 and at least one other time. Last year I ran it virtually, but did not blog about it.

The race started at 9 am. I arrived at 8:50 am and still had a 5 minute walk to pick up my bib and t-shirt., by which time they were singing the National Anthem.

Oops!

I did the walk of shame through the crowd to the other side where I picked up my stuff.

Ann Marie shouted "Hi, Jacquie!"

Gabrielle shouted "Hi, Jacquie!" to which I replied, "I must be late if you are here already!" Gabrielle is known for skating it close to the start line.

There were a lot of people! Today I received the email that said 692 people finished the race! That means even more registered for the event. I don't know how many they have had in the past, but that is a lot of people!

The weather was crisp (about 35 degrees), but not windy -- perfect for running.

I finished at 35:00.2. Had I not stopped to snap this picture, I would have made it under 35, or a 11:18 pace.

I did not expect to be even this fast. I've slacked off on running this year, even returned to C25K to remind myself I enjoy running.

I feel as if the course changes each time I do this race. Certainly since the last time a bridge was installed. A bridge that sways so wildly when a herd of runners is crossing at the same time several runners (myself included) had to pause to recover from the motion sickness before continuing.

It was a lot easier to cross the bridge on the return with many less runners. It also helped to know we only had a half mile left until the finish line.

During the race I encountered some "turkeys" -- humans dressed as, and people wearing turkey hats. I was enjoying running too much to pause to take pictures of those.

I'm really glad I was able to get out and race again. May it motivate me to keep on running.

Some more racing pictures...

Much less crowded on the return

Post-race photo with Gabrielle

 

Cleaning Lady

A couple of months ago I broke down and decided to get a cleaning lady. 

Best. Decision. Ever.

It started with Don announcing after working from home for over a year and a half that his company has no plan to ever return to the office. None. Maybe February 2022, but then again we've heard this before.

The next phase in my realization was that as much as it is an annoyance scrubbing toilets my family uses, it is less appealing to do for the exchange student living in our house this year. Yes, I should treat him like family. Yes, I can assign chores to him. But I don't feel like being a slave to cleaning up after him, or reminding him to clean up after himself, or grumbling when I see it is not done.

Then I realized how much I hate cleaning the house when everyone vacates the house because they so rarely all leave at the same time. 

Why should I spend that precious alone time scrubbing toilets and vacuuming because it is the least disruptive to everyone else?

In frustration I said to my husband I'm done, I want to hire a cleaning lady.

He remembered a friend who has her own house cleaning business and suggested we call her. Thanks to the pandemic, her business had slowed down and was just now picking up again to the point where she has openings again.

A match!

Sylvia comes once every four weeks to clean the bathrooms, kitchen, and vacuum all floors -- including the dreaded staircase.

The real miracle is that once every four weeks my husband puts away all of his laundry and tidies up things he doesn't want in her way. The exchange student cleans up his room so she can get to his floor. I can read a book without guilt when they both leave the house.

Between her visits I can still run the vacuum and do some touch up cleaning, as can Don and the the exchange student.

Or not.

Parents Weekend

 

As soon as I heard Muhlenberg was planning to have a real in-person Parents Weekend I quickly made hotel reservations for Friday through Sunday. I didn't know the schedule. I didn't know what they were planning to do. I just knew I wanted to be open to doing anything they offered.

Looking at the list of activities, not much caught our interest -- a few student productions (no large main stage), a silent auction (we won dinner with the Dean), and church on Sunday morning.

A few days before the weekend the dean announced we could go in their rooms! Considering last year we were only allowed for drop off and pick up, it was a big treat to be able to see her room decorated.

We took Ashley out to dinner on Friday and Saturday. "She" took us out to Sunday brunch in the dining hall. Yes, we were allowed in the dining hall! A year of not being allowed inside buildings make us appreciate being allowed inside.

It was a nice fall escape.

A Different Perspective

 

Two weeks ago Don and I had the pleasure of seeing Ashley's first college production -- the first staged production since the pandemic started in March 2020. The show, "Call my by any other name...just as sweet:  world premiere queer deconstruction of Romeo and Juliet," was written by a visiting professor (Nigel Semaj) and directed by them, too. The link to the playbill is HERE. I'll skip to my highlight:

Ashley Pillsbury ’24 (she/her) (Assistant Stage Manager) is studying Theatre and Psychology. She stage managed several productions in high school, most notably The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged). Last year, she was a designer for the virtual show Replacing Linda as part of the Fish Project Play Festival. This is her first Department production!

At the end of the show the stage crew was brought on for a bow. A highlight for me since I miss seeing my girl on stage. But the complete opposite for Ashley.

Fast forward a week to Parents Weekend when we finally had a chance to visit. We talked about the show and how excited she is to be part of this show which transformed Romeo and Juliet into a show exploring how anyone can love, no matter gender, race, or sexual identity. New relationships were revealed through the text. Modern dance numbers were added. 

This is not a review about the show, but rather a different perspective on the curtain call. The director assuming everyone likes a curtain call insisted stage crew went out for a bow -- even though some of the crew had jobs to do during stage call time (like calling cues for lights and cast, and things this audience member doesn't realize happens thanks to stage crew). At least one vocal member of stage crew was in favor of the curtain call. At least one quiet person (Ashley) was not. She went out anyway to be a good team player, but was not happy about it.

Ashley said the curtain call is not where she receives positive feedback about a job well done. That she receives from hearing people talk about the show afterwards. Some said they were so moved they bought tickets to see it two or three more times (there were only four shows, and they saw it once). 

Hearing her describe it, this was a lesson in someone imposing their views on what is correct on people who feel differently. And also a lesson in those people going along with it even though it feels wrong to them (though I did not say that last part to Ashley).

I can appreciate it was easier to go with the leader (director, teacher) than it would have been to protest (speak out), but what if next time it is not that innocuous.

This brings me to the following weekend's student shows, in particular "Dandelions." Dandelions is about abuse. One man portrayed many forms of abuser including pedophile and spousal abuse. I could tell Don didn't get that he played many different men, as the two women in the cast played a variety of women (and girls). I can only hope and pray that Ashley understood the message -- abuse is not clear cut. It might take the form of teacher slightly crossing your line inch by inch, to push you so far you don't recognize yourself.

Which brings me to another topic we recently covered: why her friends decided to rush sororities. At Muhlenberg only 20% of the students go for Greek life (that was definitely an attraction). Among her core group that number is closer to 75% (I don't have an actual number). I'm surprised because the pandemic helped them create a tight group of friends last year, and now that group is separating. They are not all joining the same sorority, but the group dynamics will never be the same. And Ashley sees that. Friends who swore they would not go Greek, got swept up and did. Leaving Ashley behind. Ashley is bonding with new people -- mostly theater friends who did not go Greek. 

Meanwhile the study abroad application is due in three weeks. Onto more adventures!

Host Parents

 

We are two months into our experiment in parenting a son -- otherwise known as being host parents.

While we were spending Parents Weekend at Muhlenberg, Yoran spent Halloween weekend with my parents. He went trick or treating with Hayden (a first for him), and went to a friend's costume/birthday party. 

The weekend gave Don and I a chance to recharge. We realized we are not in the mood to parent. He is a good kid. He is sweet, but in a conniving way (not as slimy as Eddie Haskell, but truly knows how to say what will get him what he wants). He is also a big procrastinator and knows how to do what needs to be done in order to get what he wants. 

Very unlike Ashley.

I hesitate to put my feelings out here because of hurting someone's feelings, but the bottling up of thoughts never works for me.

He is not a bad. He is just here all the time. He needs rides because he is not allowed to drive (nor would we want him to drive one of our cars). When we eat out he orders the most expensive item, so we've taken to not taking him out for dinner (which limits what we can do). We took him into Philly and he didn't seem to care. I think he would have been just as happy at home talking to his friends.

Meanwhile I feel like doing things again because after nearly 20 months of a pandemic we can. I want to travel. I want to see shows. I want to get out. I don't want to be locked into the school calendar and his school activities. We did that for 13 years. Another year feels like too much.

I hope he is having a good time. He certainly seems to be making a lot of friends. If only they were closer and he could walk to their homes, at least they are closer than Ashley's friends were in high school.

We had thought about taking him away this weekend, but as he doesn't seem interested in going places and orders the most expensive item on the menu, Don and I opted to stay home instead. In two weeks we are going into NYC to see a Broadway show. Hoping we get more enthusiasm out of that experience. Don and I want to see more shows, but since it is not his thing we don't want to take him. Mom said he can stay with her, which is nice.

The first marking period is nearly over. There are three more to go.

Red Hatting

In June I was manning a table at the local Arts Festival when I saw a group of women walk by wearing red hats and purple tops (to be fair, one was wearing a pink hat and a lavender top). While I have heard of the Red Hat Society, I had never seen them in action. Years ago a friend scoffed when her mom joined a local group -- which left me with the impression 70 and 80 year olds red hatted, not my contemporaries.

One of the women gave me her card and said if I was interested, I could reach out to her. I soon learned she is the Queen Bee for the group, and that the group is called East Coast Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (even typing that, it is a long name). Queen Bee Sue quickly returned my email, we struck up conversations via email and text. 

And I joined.

And I'm glad I did.

On my birthday she hand delivered a card from the group. None of my other friends did more than send me a Facebook birthday greeting or text.

Sue organizes events all the time. She feels Covid might come back and we'll have to hide again, so in the meantime we should do as much as we can (with an emphasis on staying outside). Others are encouraged to arrange events for the eight of us, but she is the one who puts the most umph into it. I suggested the sunflower day, and she ran with it.

Upon my first phone call with Sue I felt I found a kindred spirit. We just clicked. The women, though not all the same generation, are supportive of each other. That really matters.

I try to aim for one event a month because I do have other things happening in my life.

So far I went with them to:

Princeton University's Prospect Gardens in August:

Talk like a Pirate Day in September: (Because it was my birthday month I could flip my colors -- purple on the head and red on the shoulders)

Sunflowers in October:

No arguments or eye rolls or whines when someone says she wants to take a picture. That night Sue updates our group Facebook page (which I then steal). It is fun being around a group of women not worried about being silly.

As for Tara in pink and lavender, when she turns 50 we will have a "red-uation" for her. Looking forward to it. As she has a daughter who is a senior in high school, she is the one I am bonding with the most. I am enjoying meeting everyone in small doses. Next month five of us are going out for tea. I think I need to find a new hat in the meantime as my tiny one fell apart.

19 Months into Covid

As the calendar turned to October I noticed something. It was full. Overfull. Nearly nineteen months ago the world erased their calendars. We spent time at home in our bubbles, hardly seeing anyone. Learning Zoom. Learning how to be safe.

I'm not sure what happened, but suddenly races and plays and gatherings are happening again. The Delta variant is still there, but new Covid cases seem to be plateauing in some areas, and decline in others. Perhaps we are just learning how to live with it and recognizing it will never go away. The vaccines have been around long enough they are losing effectiveness and booster shots are encouraged and approved for those who had Pfizer (I got mine last week). The Moderna and J&J vaccines boosters should be approved any day now.

Schools have been in session since September. Though there have been some positive cases, a spike in cases has not happened.

Last Friday I had a busy day:

Lunch with a friend from college who lives two hours away, including a visit to art studio.

Stopped by Carin's tombstone to "visit," noticing her father-in-law has joined her. I sent her husband a condolence text.

Got Glinda blessed by Temple Micah.

Saw Hayden march with the Lawrence High School marching band.

The next day I went into New York City to see Six.

Making up for lost time.

Life is good. Busy, but good.

Sunflowers not Tuilips

This past May I went to Holland Ridge Farms to tip toe through the tulips. I went alone because I didn't have the energy to round anyone up to go with me. Planning group activities have always had some challenges (when? who?), but these days you add levels of Covid-comfort and the list who who shrinks. I went alone and made the best of it.

Fast forward a few months to October. This time of year they have sunflowers instead of tulips. Learning from my mistake last time (I went the last week) we opted to go in the middle. The pink and red sunflowers seemed gone (though we did find white ones) leaving mostly traditional yellow sunflowers, some of which were severely decapitated, and a lot of zinnias and other wildflowers. Each you could purchase for $1 a stem at the end. I only bought one sunflower in the end.

This time I went with a new group of friends: Red Hat Society.

I think the Red Hatters deserve a separate post, in a nutshell I found a group of women who are willing to dress silly in public, take pictures, do fun activities, and smile. We can all use more of that in our lives.

Here are some pictures from our day at the sunflower festival.