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Saturday, August 8, 2020

Let's Take an Extremely Stressful Time and Throw in a Pandemic

In normal times having your only child graduate from high school, navigate the college search process, and prepare to fly out of the nest would be stressful.

Throw in a pandemic and I don't know how any of us are surviving.

We've had all of our fun plans and dreams for the past five months evaporate in the mist. First there was the last weekend of the school play, and Ashley's senior speech (which I still think the director could have made happen over Zoom). Then Senior Fashion Show (which I was so proud of her signing up to do, since it is so far out of her comfort zone). Then an avalanche of missed milestones big and small. 

There was choosing a college despite never going on a tour. Never having the chance to spend a weekend on campus.

No school trip to Walt Disney World with her friends. 

Yes, her school created graduation, but it wasn't the arena graduation and baccalaureate mass that generations of alumni have had. There was also no prom. 

There is still no yearbook, which means no yearbook signings to look back on in the future.

Summer vacation plans went from a trip to California to sitting in our house. I'm finally taking a week off because I'm so weary, but we are not going anywhere.

A friend's wedding reception was postponed a year.

A 104th birthday celebration is on hold. Hopefully we'll be able to gather to celebrate while she is still alive.

A trip to the library to pick up books involves making a reservation for a later date with a 15-minute time block.

Races keep being pushed back, or turning virtual.

The latest stress in life is will Ashley move on campus on August 21, or will the semester be completely virtual? Schools that had said they will be on campus saw rising numbers, especially among the 18-24 year olds, and are now saying they teach remotely.

That's bad enough. Then you have people who are not paying for your child's education telling you that is too much to pay for virtual education. You think we don't realize that? That your child (who they only only from your Facebook posts) should take the year off and do something else. "What else?" I ask. "Oh, get a job or volunteer to grocery shop for the elderly." Umm...okay. How about if she finds a cure for Coronavirus during her imposed time off?

Did I mention they are not paying for her education, nor do they know her?

So as we are trying to buy what we think she might need for college, in the back of our minds we wonder if she is really leaving in 13 days or if the school will make another *final* decision. 

Should we buy the fridge, rent one, or skip it all together? Skipping it is not really an option with her allergies and desire for a bedtime snack of cereal with almond milk (the campus has soy milk). Renting is easier on our backs. Buying is the better investment. Yes, our frustrations about whether or not she will actually be on campus are being filtered into a fridge.

Two days ago she received her room assignment, and confirmation that the girl she connected with will be in her pod of people she is allowed to be unmasked around. Only freshmen have guaranteed housing. Upperclassmen have to request it -- in normal years 96% of students live on campus. 

We are still waiting to see her fall schedule, even though classes start in two weeks.

So much uncertainty in a normal year. The pandemic is not helping.

Will she stay on campus through Thanksgiving? Will we have to drop everything to take both cars to Allentown to clean out her room?

I should be worrying about will she make future lifelong friends. Will she fall in love with the school like she did with her high school. Will she take advantage of the millions of opportunities. Will she start dating. Will she tell me what is happening in her life.

Instead I worry she will catch a deadly disease and possibly pass it on to others. I worry we'll get the call to take her home NOW, or that she is in alone in quarantine. I worry eight short semesters will not be enough to do everything she wants to do in college -- internships, study abroad, design sets for shows, be involved with shows (even though that is her major). Will four years be enough time?

Should I just keep her home and put her in bubble wrap? 

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