Doomsday Predictions

A few days ago I posted my feelings about Ashley's senior year being disrupted (at best) or cancelled (at medium prediction). Many were supportive of allowing me to vent my feelings, but at least a few reminded me but isn't this better than many people dying from the disease?

Of course I don't wish mass deaths on the world, but like everyone else I am adjusting. I am still doing what I am supposed to -- staying away from others, only shopping for necessities, not leaving the house except for walks. Meanwhile I don't have to be happy about it. 

The most optimistic predictions are we will be social distancing for two weeks. As we are at day 4, that does not seem likely.

The doomsday predictions call for 18 months until a vaccine exists, then time to distribute that vaccination before we can get on with our lives. Meanwhile this disease is mutating, which will take longer for a cure.

I want to distance myself from social media because of the judgments -- I saw kids playing in the park, don't their parents know they should stay inside? Someone had a party with six pizza boxes, don't they know they should stay away from others? I saw someone hoarding food at the grocery store, don't they know that is wrong?

But then I don't want to distance myself because there is some good out there and I want to be connected to people.

If this drags on for months, years, what businesses besides Amazon and Walmart will survive? 

This week all non-essential businesses have closed, or will close before the end of the week. The dentist office (at some point won't we need cleanings?), the hair salon, restaurants, the library, schools (distance learning will not work for all), and so much more are closed until further notice.

I could simply keep my feelings to myself (which tends to eat me alive, but, heh, it is for the greater good) or share them and risk being told I am wrong for having feelings (did we dive that deeply into communism where we are not allowed to have feelings?).

For now I'll share because I suspect I am not alone in my feelings, even if others are unwilling to share, and because I often feel better after I write -- at least until someone casts judgment on me for having feelings and I spiral in a nosedive again.

May I look back on this time soon and say why was I worried? That wasn't so bad. Maybe I'll even have guilt for wasting this time feeling sorry for myself and the world. Maybe businesses will thrive and new jobs will be created out of this mess. Maybe the disease will simply disappear in a poof of air (as was predicted by a psychic a number of years ago).

For now I continue to ache and I am adult enough to admit it rather than pretending life is wonderful. If I pretend I'll never be able to move past the feelings to the next stage. 

When I firmly return to feeling optimistic about the future, I'll blog about it and encourage others to feel optimistic again, too. In the meantime, there will be good moments and bad ones. That is life.