Facebook Birthday Reminder

Facebook is reminding me that since I have a birthday coming up I have the opportunity to do a Facebook charity fundraiser. It is actually one of the sweetest parts of Facebook.

I first learned about this opportunity nearly six years ago as I was getting ready to celebrate a half a century. I was the director of development for The Bridge Academy. Nearly a year after starting the position, I was still in the honeymoon period where I loved the organization, and I felt loved. It was the fall of 2019 and pieces of my life had fallen into place in a way I could not have imagined even a year earlier when I was applying for jobs, being ghosted for those jobs, and not feeling I would ever be enough for someone to take a chance on me again. When I left my job in 2002 I slid from having a career to being on the mommy track. I told myself I was lucky, even blessed, we could afford to do this,. Not everyone can stay home to raise a child. Years passed and suddenly our little girl was in high school and getting ready to leave the nest on her own life path. 

I wanted to return to my own life path.

As a new director of development I was curious how the Facebook fundraiser worked. As the birthday girl, I would see who donated. I wondered as the non-profit contact, what would I see?

I posted how happy I was at Bridge, and how they transform lives -- including mine. 

All truthful. 

At least it was at the time.

Friends donated. 

Facebook sent a bulk check once a month, but without the names of who donated. There was no way to thank them. More importantly, there was no way to thank the birthday girl or boy for creating a birthday fundraiser. 

Six years later I am gearing up to celebrate a non-milestone birthday. The excitement I felt working at Bridge fell off with the pandemic. I made mistakes. They made mistakes. I no longer felt part of the team that made the school a success. It is a vicious cycle. The less valued I felt, the less valued I became. 

It became easy for me to believe I had no value. The longer this went on, the more it became clear I had to leave. Two years later I still struggle with being able to give my heart to an organization.

I realized this as another birthday rolls around and there is not one organization I want to support publicly. There are still some I support quietly. 

I miss how I felt six years ago when I created that first birthday fundraiser and raised nearly a thousand dollars to help The Bridge Academy with their mission of helping students with language-based learning disabilities bridge the gap from potential to success. May I feel that way again

Downtown Trenton Walks Two Park: Cadwalder to Stacy

My third Trenton Walks tour in three weeks took me on a 3.7 mile journey from the Frederick Law Olmsted, Sr. Cadwalader Park across Route 29 to the lesser used Stacy Park.

Cadwalader Park has the distinction of being the only public park in New Jersey designed by the famous Frederick Law Olmsted, as well as the last urban park he designed. It has the characteristics of other famous parks designed by Olmsted (New York City's Central Park and San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge come to mind) including a circular drive, a pond, lawns, and groves. 

We met in front of Ellerslie Museum. Walked past the gazebo where I go roller skating some, and won Lovers Lane where we passed Trenton Mayor Reed Gusciora hanging out while a softball game was taking place and families were enjoying the perfect weather. As I passed a group of teens one commented to her friends "there are a lot of white people here." I couldn't help but laugh. I did not mean to embarrass her, and apologized. Two hours later as we walked back to our cars a subset of the group asked if they could join us.

We used a footpath to cross over Route 29. Less than a century ago the space was a canal. On the return walk we passed houses, many boarded up, others in obvious disrepair and mused if the canal had been allowed to stay instead of giving way to the mighty car, these homes would be sitting on waterfront property and be worth a small fortune. Instead they face the drone of the highway.

Stacy Park runs the length of Trenton along the Delaware River. If it were not for Route 29 and the lack of parking, this park would have been packed on this low humidity summer day. Instead our group of 20 white people were the only people, with the exception of a couple of cyclists zipping through. 

For me the highlight of the walk was The Shaky Bridge. Built from 1904-1911 by Roebling and Sons it is a 1/11th model of the Niagara River Suspension Bridge (1857-1896) and was used to show that suspension bridges are safe. It was recently touched up to its present day glamour.

Most of the group walks are only an hour. At 2.5 hours, this was an anomoly.

BAPS Revisited

A couple of months ago I revisited BAPS Swamanarayan Akshardham in Robbinsville, NJ. I walked around the grounds, and took a lot of pictures. According to the literature found in the lobby of their welcome center, this campus is dedicated to Bhagwam Swaminarayan (1781-1830), the Parabrahma (God) and founder of the Swaminarayan Hindu tradition. Through his divine life and the transformative teachings, he revitalized the core tenets of Hinduism, emphasizing moral, personal, and social betterment. His life and work inspired a rekindling of faith, virtue, and integrity in millions around the world over generations.

After parking our car in a lot reminiscent of Walt Disney World with its labeled parking lots, our eyes were drawn to the 49-foot sacred image (again, according to their pamphlet) of teenage Bhagwam Swaminarayan. We later learned the height represents a foot for each year of his life. Laura, Nancy, and I went on a rainy day so we did not pause to take a picture of ourselves. I saw plenty of people in a wide range of ages posing like him with their arms thrust towards the heavens, face forward, the left foot firmly rooted on the ground, and the right leg bent with the foot raised towards their waists. My favorite was an Indian man about 65 with a huge grin on his face as his wife took his picture. Also amusing are children younger than the statue. You can't help but smile as you do this pose in public, even if the smile is to hide a bit of embarrassment as you wobble.

We met for the 1 pm tour to learn more about their faith and the work that went into creating this center. The tour is only an hour long, including handing out headsets and collecting them at the end. Laura and I are Presbyterians. Nancy is a Jew. There were about 20 people in our group, most older than us. Two-thirds were Indian, likely Hindu, though the question never came up. We kept a respectful silence as we absorbed the accented words of our tour guide.

"The basic tenets of Hinduism," he explains (paraphrasing) are to see God in everyone, non-violence, everyone needs a guru in your life, karma, and yoga. A guru could be a coach, or professor. Someone who guides you in your life. Every month has a festival, with Diwali (the festival of lights) being the biggest one. 

The lobby of the Welcome Center has 3,000 lights in it to make people feel welcome. The wood is teak. The paintings and carpet are also to make you feel welcome. The paintings on the upper level are to represent people who in the old days would have used music and flowers to welcome you.

Outside we stay covered as we learned about the Parikrama (colonnade) surrounding the courtyard. The pink sandstone paths "remind you to always keep God at the center of our pursuits and our existence." 

Our guide tells us there are 100 different factions of Hinduism. I try to remember how many there are of Christianity. I ask Nancy how many there are of Judaism, and she shrugs and guesses many. Hindus follow four different books. 

On either side of the mandir (place of worship) are statues of elephants. The ones to the left each have one trunk. The ones on the right each have seven trunks. Elephants have always held a special place in ancient texts. Both sets of elephants look more than happy, they look joyful. I do not know the significance of why one sent has one trunk, and the other seven. 

The mandir was made without a single nail, or piece of steel, meaning it will never corrode. Over300 of their monks are engineers and they designed the building.

Before construction began, a prayer was made as an apology to the earth for destroying it.

We walk closer to the mandir. The lowest level, the foundation, is the Wisdom Plinth. Here are universal truths as told through scriptures and wise people. Included with the wise words are Albert Einstein and Martin Luther King, Jr. Hard to argue with a faith that builds its foundation on the best of all traditions. "The world is one family," adds our guide.

Before continuing inside we went to the "shoe house" where we left our shoes in cubbyholes. The ground is too sacred for outside dirt.

We met up at the golden doors depicting Bhagwam Swaminarayan's life, I thought back to being in Florence and studying Pisano and Ghiberti's Gates of Paradise doors on the baptistry next to the duomo. 

In 1792, 11 year old Bhagwam Swaminarayan had already read and learned everything there was for him to understand about Hinduism. He left on a journey throughout India in search of a guru. He walked 12,000 kilometers in seven years. His travels are depicted on the panels in the center. 

In the midpoint of our tour are cabinets containing the clothes Bhagwam Swaminarayan wore on his walk.

The inside of the mandir (place of worship) is filled with marble statues depicting stories important to their faith. Most were carved in India and shipped around the globe to Robbinsville, NJ. There are 130 statues of rhishis (sages) who have "greatly contributed to Hindu wisdom." All 108 poses of Bharatnatyam, a classical Indian dance form, are also depicted. My favorites, though, are hte musicians playing a variety of instruments. Similar statues are outside in the parikrama and outside the Welcome Center.

Look up at the domes. In one are the zodiac signs, in another the sacred rivers.

There are also statues of each of the six gurus. The fifth one had the vision to build this campus. It was completed in 2023 and the sixth one came to dedicate it. Each guru has a message that would benefit everyone. The third guru said "keep no record of bad that has happened to you. Forget. Move forward." If only it was that easy.

The fourth guru, Yogii Maharaj, had the foresight to know technology would play a big role in their future. He encouraged engineers to join. "Life is an elevator. Good times up and down. Take life as it is." He traveled to Africa when he was 70 becoming the first leader to travel overseas.

The fifth guru, Pramulch Swami, met global leaders, including Bill Clinton and Pope John Paul II. In 1997 he made the goal of a building this mandir. He also traveled to Abu Dhabi and made the goal of a Hindu temple in a Muslim territory. 

The largest mandir is in New Delhi, India. New Jersey's mandir boasts the deepest carvings. 

Construction nearly ground to a halt in 2020. At the time they thought it would take another 15 years to finish, which compared to the iconic cathedrals in the world is not that long. Instead the guru put out a call for 4,000 volunteers to help finish. Over 12,500 volunteers came from all over the United States and Canada. People of all ages and skills came to work together. All were needed. By 2023 it was dedicated.

We swapped our headsets for our IDs, put our shoes back on, and went outside. The campus boasts a delicious, and reasonably priced, cafeteria. I was grateful the menu included pictures of the food. I swapped my initial choice for something completely different. The food was described as gentle on the stomach and came with a big scoop of yogurt. Both Nancy and I ordered the same and were grateful for the calming yogurt as the main meal was spicier than we assumed. It was just the right ratio of yogurt to main meal.

Nancy and I doubled back to see the movies about the building of the mandir, and of the history Bhagwam Swaminarayan. 

Some life lessons from the gurus.

Bhagaji Maharaj (1829-1897): importance of seva (selfless service) to God and guru.

Yogiji Maharaj (1892-1971): selfless love and the profound joy of seeing goodness in everyone.

Pramukh Swami Maharaj (1921-2016): his philosophy is "in the joy of others lies our own."

Quick facts:

Constructed between 2011-2023

20,000 statues, carvings of ancient Indian musical instruments, and dance forms

The largest elliptical dome ever constructed from stone

Vision Board 2025

Last year I was invited by local nonprofit expert, Marge Smith, to create a vision board. I went in with some apprehension, but as it is something that has intrigued me, I went with an open mind and created an 8.5"x11" vision for 2024.

Ten months into the year I reflected on how spot on the poster turned out to be. 

The top says: DREAM SPRING. Last October, we returned to Australia in time for their spring, which gave me a second spring.

The pile of books reflects the over 100 books I read last year.

The camera (hard to see in the picture) represents the photography class I didn't know I was going to take at the time.

ARCHAEOLOGY represents my weekly trips to Newlin Grist Mill and some other dig sites.

HOPE could represent the few months of HOPE I had that Kamala Harris would win the election.

GREAT ESCAPE I had several fun trips last year and this.

The Eiffel Tower was a miss, but in April 2025 I did return to Belgium, so maybe not so far off. 

This week Marge invited us back to create a new vision board. She has piles of magazines, junk mail, old calendars, fancy paper, stickers, and other treasures. My head gravitated towards the travel pictures and the words WHERE TO GO IN 2025. 

I was also drawn to the sticker: BE HAPPY BE BRIGHT BE YOURSELF. That's something I have not felt like being for a long time. I often feel as if I'm too much and need to be kept smaller, or feel as if I'm not good enough. I forget to simply be happy, share brightness, and be myself.

The other sticker: TRUST THE TIMING OF YOUR LIFE is the advice I didn't realize I needed. As I sat with a small group of women listening to their stories, and listening to Marge fill them with exactly what they needed to hear to go from planning to quit to planning to fight I heard her tell me I had to leave my last job. It was toxic. I'm still healing. No one else has said that to me. I felt seen. I felt loved. I felt I could make a step towards healing and stop beating myself up.

While I included pictures of places I want to go. A hot springs. Greece. France. Austria. Budapest. Canada. I also included a picture of hands connecting and realized I want to connect with people again. A rainbow. I want to fight so gay marriage stays a right. A guitarist in Argentina. I want more music in my life, and I want to go to South America. The pyramids. I want to go to Africa. A garden gnome that reminds me of the gnome in "Amelie" that traveled the world. The puffins clearly in love to remind me of my love.

I wonder if the pink background over last year's blue is a sign I'm ready to be happy and bright again.

The board is still without a vision for paid work. The paid opportunities in the past two years have found me. They've been enough financially and emotionally. More than enough.

I'll try to revisit this in a few months and let you know if it becomes as prophetic as the first one did.

Downtown Trenton Walking Club

Over a year ago, and fifty walks ago, Becky Taylor and Tim Brill started Trenton Walks! lunchtime walks to learn more about Trenton, and to share the capital city with others. They estimate that together they have walked from Trenton to Florida. They aiming for Key West. I'm sure after that they will aim for even further away.

Last week's walk was from City Hall to the State House. Though Thomas was our guide, he often graciously ceded the floor to local experts who just happen to be on the tour. While talking about the history of the1689 grist mill in Mill Hill, someone chimes in they remember when the river was uncovered and how wildlife has since returned to the area.

As we passed ArtWorks one man proudly states that he just received a call about a grant to revitalize the area. Then shares with us really exciting news about plans to bring Trenton back to life (including building The American Graffiti museum (TAG)). Don has lived in the area for six decades, and I've been here since 1988, so we are both cautiously optimistic about the news. If only a portion of what is planned to happen really happens Trenton will transform before our eyes. 

We took the path along the Assunpink to the Italian marble statue of George Washington behind Passage Theater (where Ashley was working at that moment), across the street from where one of her childhood best friends used to live. We heard the statue was made for the 1867 Centennial in Philadelphia. It was moved to Cadwallader Park where it was graffitied, and since restored, then tucked away in this park. 

We paused in the shade at the top of the War Memorial where we could see an empty grassy area that had once been part of Trenton's Stacy Park. The city has received a grant to revitalize the space.

As we walked back to the start Thomas pointed across Warren and State streets to where the second Masonic Temple once stood and said that was the home of the first professional basketball game in 1896.

It is also where the Constitution was signed. As we gear up for the sesquicentennial of our nation's founding, we'll be learning more about what happened here during the Revolutionary War.

Trenton has a lot of history.

The following Wednesday Don and I returned for walk #51. We walked from the canal parking lot up to the new pedestrian path on the Scudders Falls Bridge. This talk was led by members of the Delaware River Basin Commission (DRBC) -- a group of 37 people who keep an eye on the water safety for the entire Delaware River, which stretches from Hastings, NY to Delaware. They work with people from the governments of Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and the federal government. 

During the Industrial Revolution era, the Delaware (the longest undammed river in America) provided the hydromechanical power located by what is now Waterfront Park. Ships traveled from Philadelphia to New York City along the canals. They went uphill, and back downhill through a series of locks. Seven from Trenton to New Brunswick. Seven from Trenton to Bordentown.

In the 1840s the Delaware River was an open sewer. Today we drink the water thanks to the work of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) that began in 1972. Today the DRPC maintains it so it does not return to that fate.

The Delaware River is unique in that parts of it are freshwater and parts are saltwater. This unique attribute is why the shad thrive near Lambertville.

The next walks will be on August 24th and September 6th.

Christmas in August 2025

When telling Ashley about how much we enjoyed Ocean Grove's beach nativity she seemed interested in going with us. As I said in 2024 much as changed in the past year. In this case, the big change is that Ashley moved out and is living with her girlfriend, Anna. Anna was out of the country so we took advantage of the rare opportunity to have Ashley to ourselves.

The text I wrote last year is the same. Two churches work together to put on this annual tradition. The two-person camels often led by the smallest participants (under the guidance of a responsible adult) steal the show. Mary "giving birth" behind a blanket held up by Joseph is a close second. The entire tableau takes place in 30 minutes. We conclude by singing familiar carols that somehow don't feel out of place on a New Jersey beach in August.

Looking at the pictures, I very nearly wore the same t-shirt a third year in a row. The green is perfect for the Christmas-themed outing.

The line at Day's stretched down the block so we returned after the pageant.

It was really nice being able to spend the evening with our grown-up daughter.

Return to Musikfest 2025

For the first time in decades (?) Don and made a second trip to MusikFest. With ten days of sunshine, they really lucked out with the weather this year. They later reported that they had record crowds. As most venues are free, I don't know how they determine attendance, but I'm happy for them. (Last Monday)

This post will be brief. I want to share the great musicians. We made it to the South Side by the Steel Stacks for the first time. There is a shuttle bus that crisscrosses MusikFest (and one that Ashley used the day before), but we walked the 35-minutes from one side to the other an back again over the train tracks.

The weather was warmer than on Monday, a nice day to be outside but an even nicer day to enjoy air conditioning.

We listed to Corinne previewing her new album, Stories in Pink. Wearing my pink sundress I felt in the know even though it was a complete accident. I learned a few days later Cousin Martin plans to hear her album preview this weekend. 

We are seeing Martin next week on the Jersey leg of his vacation. I look forward to hearing his thoughts about her album. He has been a fan for a while.

After dinner we went to hear Grace Kelly perform. Not THE Grace Kelly, but a saxophonist by the same name. She played outdoors in Stadtplatz, but by then it was a lot cooler. The next day we learned Ashley heard her play the day before us and really enjoyed her music, too. Ashley's performance had ASL interpreters even though much of her music is instrumental. Our favorite piece (one Ashley did not hear) was about meeting her now husband and is often used as a wedding or engagement song, much to her happiness called Feels Like Home.

Even though Don and I went alone, through the music of these two women I felt a connection to family.