Things that Unite Us

I feel like we are living in very divisive times. Times where no matter what I say, someone disagrees with me. I mean ADAMENTLY disagrees with me. The divisions make it hard to have a conversation with a new person. 

Here is my list of topics we can all agree on:

1) Dolly Parton was inspirational

2) Eclipses are cool

3) Betty White was sweet

4) We need to cocoon elderly icons, such as Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke so they can live longer

I'm not sure where to go with this list. We need to learn to listen to each other and have real conversations without screaming. 

It is hard.

While at a protest I spoke with a woman who shared a recent experience she had while traveling. She and her husband were overseas. They met another American couple about their age (I'm guessing in their 70s). The other couple was from Texas and the opposite of them politically. They had a debate. The other couple was willing to listen to views that were completely at odds with theirs. In the end, the Texas couple paid for the New Jersey couple's meal as they left. The staff commented they had never seen a dialogue like that and were in awe. I'm in awe each side could calmly share their views with the other. 

No matter where you stand on issues, I hope you can agree the nation is a mess. We need to come together to rebuild. It won't be quick, and it certainly won't be easy, but we owe it to ourselves to try.

Please list more uniting thoughts in the comments -- things we can all agree on.

Paramus Disney Store

Back in May Debbi told us Paramus would be getting a Disney Store. After college in early 1990's, Debbi worked for the Quaker Bridge Disney Store. She worked at Walt Disney World, too. Her favorite character is Figment.

The announcement about the Paramus store opening in the fall added that a store would be opening in Pittsburgh in May. Though we would be in Pittsburgh in May, we were leaving the day before the store opened. We did drive to the mall to see the outside for ourselves. 

There weren't any holes giving us a glimpse at the magic. The CBS news story said a child would be chosen to put the key in to unlock the the magic at 10 am. They also said there will be QR codes to book a time to enter the store. I'm happy to say the Paramus store did not involve that hoop for entering.

Fast forward to the fall. I learned the Paramus Disney Store would be opening on September 3. I read it would only be open for three weeks. Not sure where I read that, since other reports said it would be open through the holiday season, which makes much more sense. On our drive north, Debbi said the store won't open until 4 pm, or about 15 minutes after Mapquest said we would arrive.

The Paramus store is located inside Garden State Plaza, a far larger mall than the Ross Park Mall on the outskirts of Pittsburgh. I didn't give this plan much thought. After going to Frank's funeral the night before, seeing Don's busy work schedule, and knowing I potentially have jury duty the following week, I just made plans to drive up after having brunch with a different friend. Nothing like cramming too much into a day.

Debbi and Don were good sports about the drive. They also graciously accepted I was too tired for much more than driving to Paramus and back.

The wait was long and not well organized. In front of the store was a grid designed to resemble a theme park switchback line. The lines were too tight and narrow for strollers, and too flat to keep us from simply moving forward. Unnumbered blue wrist bracelets were handed out to prove you were in line. The line stretched past Macy's. I felt they were unprepared for the crowd since the line ended at Macy's, where two more lines formed to join the back of the official line. Perhaps we should have been given different colored wrist wraps, or something with numbers on them. 

We gave up on the chaos and merged into a hole in the official line while the cast member kept shrugging and saying "what do you expect me to do, I'm all alone." He had mall security with him to figure out the best way to organize a line. Finally they moved the line up to the second level and had it continue so they were not blocking the entrance to stores. I'll assume the line will not be this long again, though the Paramus malls did get super crowded in the holiday seasons of my youth.

While the grand opening ceremony was taking place, Debbi and I stood across the hall to watch. I did not notice a child with a large key, but other bloggers captured the moment a mini-Sleeping Beauty opened the store. Evidently, a child will be given this task every day. I'm glad to be past that stage in life where I drive my child to the mall in the hopes she is chosen.

Opening took place a few minutes after four. They kept the line moving fairly quickly. The line for the register also grew pretty quickly.

Now for the store. This write up from Disney Parks Blog is a lot more comprehensive and upbeat than I could ever be. We enjoyed the New Jersey theming attempts, even if we feel there is more to the Garden State than pizza and bagels. 

I did not appreciate the limited edition merchandise that was unveiled at D23. Evidently that and the Halloween merchandise were hot stuff. 

I saw the New Jersey themed t-shirts ($29.99) and flat tote bag ($24.99) and left them behind. The quality did not justify the prices. The Alice in Wonderland merchandise was harder to resist, but I did. The three of us, who 15 years ago I would have described as diehard Disney fans, all left empty-handed and a little sad. We were glad to see the store, but missed plush mountain and the Disney stores of the 1990s and early 2000s. According to this blog there are still 20 stores in the United States, mostly outlet stores, including one in Elizabeth, NJ at the Jersey Fresh Outlets. I thought all but the flagship location in New York City were closed.

We left happy that we made the trip. In true Disney fashion, as we waited Cast Members tried to make the line experience fun. They handed out green headbands with eyes on them from a movie I did not recognize, postcards, and Celebrating stickers. I was happy with the postcard. 

The spin through the store was a brief step back in time. That said, none of us plan on returning.

Another Funeral

Why do funerals begin with the letters F-U-N? They are not fun. Yes, it is nice to see people we have not seen in years. Though seeing them is a reminder we need to get together under happier situations more often.

Frank brought us together. 

The priest reminded us a person dies twice. The first is when they leave their physical body. The second is the last time someone says their name.

Frank

Carina Hope

Peter

Xavier

Charlie

Children of friends who died much sooner than they should have. They leave behind giant holes.

The priest added we will all be changed by Frank's death. Maybe we'll take life a little slower. Maybe we'll push someone to vote (Frank was a Poli Sci student at our alma mater who wanted to become Chief of Staff). I know I've reminded people stressing about a typo or something trivial to put it in perspective. I try to say it gently. I'm sure one day I'll snap.

After the service a bunch of us gathered at a restaurant. I was at a table with Kappas Dave, Pete, Marc, and Steve, plus spouses Don, Tammy, and Michelle. Since graduating from college in 1992, I only remember seeing Dave and Pete each once, and I have never seen Steve and Tammy. I do keep in touch with Marc and Michelle. 

The people still married to their college sweethearts brought them to the funeral. The others didn't. I would have enjoyed meeting them.

Five founders, including me, Steve, Marc, Chris Smith, and Pete. Some Alphas, Betas, Gammas, Deltas, and Espilons. The largest gathering of Kappas (probably) ever. I was struck by how much we still looked like we did in 1992. I was also struck by how we fell into easy conversations. 

Politics were left off the table. I didn't want to know.

No old fights were brought up or even any old grudges.

We learned about the time Steve was held up at gunpoint. He shared his story in such a practiced voice I suspect he has shared it over the years. Down to the teenage thieves stealing the beer along with his wallet and wedding ring. A call to the police quickly brought the SWAT team who was in training a couple of miles away. They caught the kids. Steve got everything back, except for two beers that broke during the chase.

Dave shared a little about his grandchildren. Sheesh! Grandchildren? 

Pete's daughter is at the college Ashley attended. She mentioned Ashley's name and it was recognized by an upper classman. It is sweet they remembered the college Ashley attended.

Marc and Michelle I keep in touch with more often, but they still shared some top secret news.

Many congratulations over Ashley and Anna's news.

It was nice to see everyone. It was an awful reason to gather.

Frank's parents, Darrel and Karin, lost their only child. They are at different stages of grief. I pray they don't lose each other, too. 

Other Kappas I remember seeing:

Sandip

Kathy and Scott

Theresa

Gail

Jeff

George

Maybe not quite the 25-30, but maybe in the past week I've forgetting some names. In the moment, it felt like quite the Kappa reunion. If anyone reading this wants to add names, I would be most grateful.

Wednesday night when we came home from North Jersey I had more thoughts. These are the ones that stayed with me.

Hug your children tighter. Take time to listen to them and be with them, especially when life feels too busy.