Broadway!

At the end of June we celebrated Ashley's new job, and the end of sophomore year of college, with seeing two Broadway shows. The next day I won the lottery to see a third show. I wish it was just a little more convenient to go into NYC, if so, I would see even more shows.

Ashley and I saw the matinee for Paradise Square, an extremely under appreciated musical about the time in New York City's Paradise Square when the freed blacks got along with the Irish immigrants, even marrying each other. The tensions between the groups grew when Abraham Lincoln declared all able-bodied men must be part of the draft, however blacks were not allowed to participate. The Irish resented fighting for the blacks while the blacks were taking their jobs. The emotions were raw. It was told through singing, dancing, and a three-story set that rotated on stage. It had everything a Broadway show should have, except an audience. It closed a couple of weeks after we saw it. 

That evening the three of us saw Don's favorite play, Into the Woods. The Stephen Sondheim classic is enjoying a revival with top performers including Phillipa Sou (Cinderella), Sara Bareillis (The Baker's Wife), and Brian D'Arcy James (The Baker). It was more a staged reading than a full production, which means the set was minimal, but that talent is top notch. They just announced their original 8-week run is being extended through mid-October. They don't know if it will be the same cast.

The next day I won the Plaza Suite lottery. I had been debating about seeing Plaza Suite. I knew Don and Ashley didn't want to go with me, I knew I didn't want to spend a lot on the ticket, but I also knew I wanted to see Sara Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick on stage playing the lead characters in each of the three scenes. The bring me back to my youth (a theme may be detected if you read enough of my blog posts). As the show was closing soon, and our lives were becoming increasingly busy, I left it to fate: if I won the lottery I would go, if not, I wouldn't.

I won! Don dropped me off at the Princeton Junction train station. I dashed up to the theater, pausing at The Counter to eat dinner the second night in a row. I felt like a regular when Mike, my server, put an iced tea at my place while I went to the bathroom. Big smiles when I explained I won the lottery and was seeing another show.

The last day of the Broadway mask mandate.

Tired, but so happy.

Trying to decide what to see next. Great options out there.

Niagara Falls

Niagara Falls was not on my Top 10 list of places to visit this year, but when a friend you haven't seen in over 30 years, and who lives on the other side of the globe, says he'll be in Niagara Falls for two days and would love to catch up, priorities shift. It also helped the trip was a few days after Yoran, our exchange student, left leaving me feeling nostalgic for my year abroad. Yoran doesn't realize how easy he has it to stay in touch -- between social media and free ways to text and send emails, there barriers are eliminated for keeping in touch.

Don and I drove to Niagara Falls. It was our first international trip since COVID. A hoop has been added since then -- we have to download the ArriveCAN app and declare in advance which border we plan to cross at, and specify the time. I reality, you can enter this information while you are in line at the border (spoiler alert). It does help if you enter the information beforehand, including pictures of your passport and COVID vaccine card. I will add it feels like an extra burden for people who do not have smart phones, though they do say you can go to the website to enter the information, which means it is still a burden to someone like Don's mom or aunt who did not have a smart phone, a computer, or even an email address. Feeling that was not my battle, and being a rule follower, I pressed forward and did as told.

We crossed the border in about 15 minutes. Absolutely no hurdles. The information was magically linked to my passport. We drove past the AAA stadium in Buffalo, NY where the Buffalo Bisons play (last year they played in Trenton). While it is undeniably a gorgeous stadium, it is RIGHT on the highway. 

From the border we drove to our hotel, the Sterling Inn and Spa. As it is likely the fanciest hotel I will ever stay in, I'm sharing pictures.

A treat, yet also a frustration, was that (due to the restaurant still being closed due to COVID) breakfast was included in the room. It was a frustration because we planned to meet up with Andrew and his daughter, Emma, in the restaurant to talk about the day. Instead, we met after breakfast and sat in chairs in the hallway.

As we arrived the night before Andrew and Emma, Don and I walked around Niagara Falls. The big attraction is, of course, the falls. Each night at 10 they have a 5-minute fireworks show. I was able to put my camera on a fence post and take a bunch of pictures while enjoying the show.

After a lot of walking around, we went back to the hotel.

The next day we met up with Andrew and Emma, and made vague plans to meet up again later in the day. Vague plans don't work that well when you are both wandering around without cell data.

After a lot of walking, Don and I had lunch, and used the restaurant's WiFi to text Andrew (who it turns out was dining at the restaurant next to ours, but not using their WiFi). We suggested meeting in Niagara Falls, NY at 7:30 to cross back into Canada. He went to the hotel (with WiFi) and sent us a message to say he was available to get together now that Emma was with her friends. By then we were touring the Niagara Parks Power Station.

The Niagara Parks Power Station was pretty neat. We upgraded for the guided tour because I knew I would get very little out of the tour without a guide. The power plant was in use for over 100 years (1905-2006). When they opened the agreement was they would rent the land for a small fee and provided electricity, but when they left everything was to stay -- especially all of the equipment. Last year it was turned into a museum, and on July 1, 2022 the 2,200 foot tunnel built 180 feet underground was opened to the public (I think this was the biggest selling point).

Here are some pictures:

FIVE men would fit in this elevator
 to go to the floors below. Claustrophobic
just thinking about it. 

Views from the end of the tunnel

One of the telephones used to communicate on the noisy floor.

From there we walked to the United States. Having been warned by Laura that you must have your passport and sign up on ArriveCAN to let Canada know you plan to return, we had what we needed.

The walk across the Peace Bridge was lovely. Crossing into the United States was easy. Perhaps the best part of being in the States was that our data plan worked and we could text Ashley to see how her new job was going (yes, we left our 20 year old home in charge of the pets and the house while we played). We also reached out to Andrew, who was also in Niagara Falls, NY. I don't know how we missed each other! We said we were by the Hard Rock Cafe in Niagara Falls, NY, so he crossed back into Canada to wait for us by the Hard Rock Cafe in Niagara Falls, Ontario (not realizing there was one in New York). We walked around a little long, studying the view of the falls from this side of the river. The biggest difference was in the United States there was a fence protecting people from falling in -- a safety
precaution lacking on the Canadian side. Somehow I missed the fence in the picture, so I'll add the other big difference was the view -- the Canadian side is much more built up than the American side. 

The trip back was not hard, but the wait was much longer. Seemed most people did not realize you needed to download the ArriveCAN before talking to immigration officials. Instead they would enter the room and argue why they did not need to do this, and hold up the line for everyone else. It took us 45 minutes to wait in a line less than 20 groups deep, and 30 seconds to explain we are coming to Canada because our car is at the hotel in Niagara Falls. 

On the other side of the border was Andrew waiting for us at Hard Rock Cafe. As a nod to our teen selves, we ate at Hard Rock. While the restaurant seemed empty, we had a 20-minute wait for a table due to labor shortages. This led to a lively discussion about life in Australia vs. life in the United States vs. the limited knowledge of what we know about Canada.

We saw the fireworks again, and showed Andrew the falls at night. In the morning we had another quick visit before he headed to the Toronto airport, and we started the long drive to Columbus, Ohio to visit family and friends.

It was a good trip. After being so hot in New Jersey, it was a treat to wear jeans and long sleeves again.

Catching up After a Few Decades

Our trip to Niagara Falls was both a reminder of how old I am while also a chance to feel 18 again. The feelings were an odd juxtaposition.

The reason we traveled to Canada was because Andrew, I friend I made in Belgium in 1988 and who lives in Australia had a two-day layover in Toronto. He decided to spend the layover in Niagara Falls. Catching up with Andrew made me feel 18 again, while at the same time it hit me we met 34 years ago. Since meeting as exchange students we went home, went to college, met the loves of our lives, began careers, had children, and bounced back to each other.

During our visit we talked as if no time had passed, while also catching up on what has happened since 1988. 

When we were 18 Andrew from Australia and Becky from Chicago became quite the item. In my mind I thought they married and had children. I wondered where they were living -- here or there.  How did they make their relationship last? I pondered these questions while in Israel and an American woman (Kathryn??) started dating an Englishman named Jake. In their case, though, she already had plans to spend the following semester in Cambridge, so they stood a chance. In Andrew and Becky's case, they were younger and living in the time before texting and cheap means of communicating over international borders.

Through the magic of Facebook I've bonded with his wife, Jo. She was not on this trip, but I look forward to meeting her when we do make it to Australia. I did have the chance to meet his daughter, Emma, who is about the same age as our daughter, who was not on the trip with us. Emma is charming.

It warmed my hear to reconnect after all this time, both as if no time had passed and wanting to continue the connection.

God Moment

Today was one of those days I clearly saw God's handiwork. It happened in church, but it was the type of situation that could happen anywhere.

Sara F. was staying with her sister in Newtown, PA. Her sis suggested she spend the night at their parent's house in Lawrenceville. Sarah instantly got excited and asked her parents if they could go to church in the morning. See before Sara moved to Colorado she was very involved with our church, including singing at both worship services. Lo and behold Bo's band (which has several different names depending on who is singing with Bo that day) was playing in church today (a rare occurrence, and completely unbeknownst to Sara or her parents). Sara and her family did wake up in time for church. Bo took one look at her and invited her to sing a solo on one of the versus of "I'll Fly Away." Not knowing which version they were planning to sing, or in what key, Sara gladly accepted the invitation.

The result was those of us in the church this morning were able to feel the electricity we used to feel when Sara and Bo's band led worship. 

I saw God's hand in action to make all of the seemingly small pieces fit together like magic.

Time Warp

This month we had the opportunity to time travel -- back to the era of no cell phones.

The first time was planned. We spent a couple of days in Canada visiting Andrew, a friend I met when I was 18 and living in Belgium, who lives in Australia and was on an around-the-world trip with a layover in Niagara Falls. We were barely in Niagara Falls for 36 hours. Surely we could live without a cell phone for that length of time! After all, we did have access to WiFi in the hotel.

Andrew arrived after we went to sleep that first night. We agreed to meet in the lobby as we were staying in the same hotel. Then made vague plans that normally work in 2022 -- we'll figure out where to meet up later in the day.

We texted with WiFi at lunch. Later we learned he was at the restaurant next door at the same time.

Andrew was tired, so he went back to the hotel. We went on a tour of the Niagara Falls Power Plant.

Andrew walked over the Peace Bridge to Niagara Falls, NY. We did, too, maybe 30 minutes after he did. 

Once back in the USA we texted Andrew, who by this point walked back to Niagara Falls, Ontario. We said we are at the Hard Rock Cafe (meaning the one in New York) he went to the Hard Rock Cafe (meaning the one in Ontario). 

It so reminded us of what life used to be like before we had cell phones.

The story had a happy ending as we ate dinner at Hard Rock Cafe in Ontario (continuing our step back in time where Hard Rock Cafes rocked) and walked along the falls. We met again in the morning for a chance to say goodbye. Hopefully 35 years don't pass again before we meet up.

The second time-warp experience was unexpected. We met up with Don's cousins at Wildflowers in Pennington, NJ for pizza and a chance to visit. While there we learned we were in a room where data plans could not penetrate. I actually had to leave the room and step outside to text Ashley to let her know where we were. It was crazy! It also meant our conversations were not interrupted by pinging or other phone distractions. 

We are all so dependent on our phones. Those who say they are not, are often ones who expect others to make the plans and do the coordinating.

 

Random Thoughts -- a stray one

It has been a tiring week. We said goodbye to Aunt Elva twice -- Monday in Boston and Thursday in New Jersey. Spent time with Don's cousins on Wednesday. Moved my office home on Tuesday. Saw a friend's daughter perform in Carnegie Hall on Thursday. Dinner with Ashley's girlfriend on Friday. I'm tired of talking to people, yet want to hear from someone (just about anyone) I have not heard from in a while and jump start a friendship. I just don't have the energy to be the spark needed to make that happen.

I recently lamented to a friend I am tired of being the one to reach out first. Some tell me they really appreciate it, but hitting 50 made me realize I don't want to reach out first every. single. time. And yet, I want to feel as if I belong. I think everyone wants to feel as if they belong.

I am not being productive today. I'm going to try to shift gears and blog. 

 

Our Farewell Tour of Boston

Last weekend we traveled to Boston for perhaps our last time. After a decade of quick weekend trips to see Aunt Elva, we traveled to the Sherrill House to say goodbye to her in a meaningful service. The chaplain, Lindsey, knew Aunt Elva for six years. They first bonded over Lindsey's black and white companion cat -- Aunt Elva's favorite cat was a tuxedo cat named Duchess. Lindsey's cat has been replaced by a small white and black dog who visits Sherrill house and has warmed her way into everyone's heart, including mine.

Lindsey charged us with healing. People spoke so kindly about Aunt Elva. There were repeats of stories I knew, and a couple of new ones -- including one of her smoking. Martin divided her life into chapters: The Farm Girl, Thoroughoughly Modern Elva, etc. Elva graduated from Rider College in 1937, at a time when most women did not go to college. She was born in New York State, lived many years in Trenton and Ewing, and moved in her 90s to Massachusetts. Each time becoming stronger. 

Aunt Elva Pillsbury passed away at age 105-years young, only 8 days shy of her 106th birthday. Over the weekend we thought of our nearly annual visits (see below) where she would share family history, her life before becoming a Pillsbury, and anything else on her mind. It was a privilege to know her, she was easy to love. 

I know after death, people are suddenly afraid to say anything negative about the person, not to "speak ill of the dead." This tradition annoys me. If you complain about the person during their life, they do not suddenly turn into a saint in death. I'm sure Aunt Elva had her faults, but whining about her lot in life was not one of them. Nearly a decade ago she suffered a stroke which left her bedridden. Yes, that means until her late 90s she was living on her own. She moved to Boston in her 90s to be closer to Martin and Helen (Nancy lives in Colorado). It always struck me as odd that they moved her and her beloved cat, Duchess, into an apartment on the second floor of a house -- which means well into her 90s she was able to go up and down stairs. The night of her stroke she had family over for dinner -- yes, she was cooking and entertaining into her 90s. Helen called her soon after she came home to ask a question. When her mom did not answer, she went to her house and found her. Elva had a medical alert necklace, but took it off that evening because it didn't match her outfit. Fortunately Helen called her and worried. I think of the times we called Don's mom who was notorious for not answering if she had nothing to say and shudder. 

A few days before her death Martin called to let us know the end was in sight. Though she was 105, somehow I felt she would live forever. We took a last trip on a rare quiet weekend in February. Her hearing was gone, and she had taken out her hearing aids because they were uncomfortable. When we arrived wearing masks, Elva went through the list of who we might be before Don took off his mask, and I wrote Bob's son, Don on her white board. It was our hardest visit because she couldn't hear, was having troubles reading what we wrote on the write board, and repeated questions about Ashley (she remembered where she was going to college, but not if she comes home every weekend). In past visits we could go three hours without repeating a conversation. This time we couldn't go a few minutes. When lunch came for her, we took our leave and walked around Boston looking for lunch for ourselves. When we came back she was asleep. We were tired, so we sat and napped with her for about an hour. 

It was peaceful.

Sometimes all you can give another person is your presence.

In the past we brought her a new book. She was an avid reader -- her favorite genres were history and strong women. By her last visit we had heard her eyesight deteriorated too much to read. She had already lost the ability to watch TV. With COVID visits were more restricted. She had lost what interested her the most.

Other Aunt Elva Posts:

February 2022  

April 2021 (post COVID)

October 2018

October 2015

July 2015 (100th birthday)

September 2014

Summer 2011 (95th birthday)

Our Boston trips often included seeing other people important to us, including NCB ("New Cousin Barbara"), someone who found us through ancestry.com. Her family adopted my great-great grandmother, Dora, actually I am very murky on the connection other than it turns out we are not technically related (to which my sister, Rebecca, changed the acronym to mean NOT Cousin Barbara), but we have much in common including having children born a month apart. NCB grew up a couple of miles away from me in Ridgewood. It is actually odd how much we have connected.

We also connected with Don's cousins, Martin, Helen, and Paul, who live in Boston. 

For the past nearly 7 years each trip included a stop at a 99 Restaurant because NCB recommended we go to 99 to celebrate Aunt Elva's 99th birthday. 99 Restaurants are a fairly small chain of McPub style restaurants. Prices are reasonable. Ambiance is comfortable. Each location is a little different, all focusing on local sports teams plus the Red Sox. They have tin ceilings and booths. We found we preferred the Danbury location because it is about half-way. A couple of times we had the same server, a nurse who enjoyed hearing about our trips to see Aunt Elva. Sadly that location closed and we were not able to tell her she finally passed away.

We'll miss the stories. We'll miss the connection to the past, the present, and the future.

On this trip we only took one picture -- of us in a U-shaped bench at the Olmsted Park in Jamaica Plains. Taken to show Ashley it still exists.

Random Thoughts -- end of July edition

There are so many ideas cluttering up my brain I don't even know where to start. I do know I need to do a brain dump more often so the bad ones can be released and the good ones have a chance to grow.

This weekend in 39 hours we spent 11 of them driving. Fortunately Don picked up  "Outlander" from the library before we left for Niagara Falls and Ohio -- two more trips I want to blog about so the memories don't fade away. The 28 CD set has kept us entertained during a lot of driving the past three weeks. We have made it to CD 24. Each CD is about an hour. We do not want to get back in the car for any more long car rides. Tonight Don said he is done with Outlander -- it was a great distraction, but it is too much of a soap opera where the heroine (Claire) jumps from one crisis to another with hardly a breath in-between (well, except for the bodice ripping experiences she has -- the poor woman keeps going through dresses in an era when you couldn't just order a new one on-line). I'll likely read the last bit then decide if I want to read the 8 other equally long books already written (plus one the author promises to finish once the characters tell her what is happening in their lives). 

Oddly I have writers block after saying all that.

Another topic...Today I finished reading Delia Ephron's book "Left on Tenth: a second chance at life." Despite the happy ending, I feel sad. The autobiography is about finding love again following the death of her husband, and contracting lymphoma -- the same disease the killed her famous sister, Nora Ephron. Her first husband died from cancer, which somehow led her to reconnecting with someone she dated when she was 18. That part was sweet. He seems too good to be true, but perhaps she made him seem even more amazing because she knew he would read this book of her feelings. She treats just about everyone else in the book the same way -- they were all amazing to her during her treatments, no friend was ever mean. There was only one doctor she did not like, and she changed his name so she would not hurt his feelings. It was a bit overwhelming to read about everyone being wonderful and how wide a cast of friends she has (she never had any children of her own, but has several women she considers surrogate daughters / mothers). I couldn't write a book listing that many people who are unfailingly kind, and willing to drop everything at the drop of a hat to help me, who never complain, never say an unkind word, never hurt me with a slight (real or imagined). The only people she spoke negatively about (besides that one doctor) were her parents and her husband's father -- all of whom are likely dead. It was more than that, though, her battle with lymphoma reminded me of Carin's journey. Their battles were about at the same time. They both had bone marrow transplants, Carin's through her sister, and Delia through a donation bank. They both had the best of care -- Carin in Philadelphia, Delia in NYC. They both battled in 2017. Carin died. Delia lived. What if Carin's doctors tried the approach Delia's doctors did? There were likely other differences in their diseases. In their doctor's approach. The patients' tolerances. I still wish Carin was still here. Next month will be four years since her passing. Still think of her daily.

Another topic...I love the way my new office is turning out, but I'm stumped on the next step. After Yoran moved out (hard to believe it has been a month already) I started to convert his room into my new office -- not too soon as today I began working from home while construction begins at work. I love the periwinkle walls, which Don finally agreed is not too dark a color for the room with the freshly painted white trim and furniture. I adore the trundle bed (even though we don't have a second mattress for it). I'm stumped how to proceed. I left two decades of photo albums in my old office (a.k.a. Don's office) as they won't fit in here. I should start converting them to the readers digest version of each -- which people still won't look at, but I don't want to get rid of all of those memories. It is a lot of work, but in the long run would be more practical. I don't know what to put on the walls. Don doesn't know what to do with my old office (the one he decided he preferred because it faces the front of the house and is larger). Frankly we haven't been home long enough to make sense of it.

I'm hungry. Don is on his way home. I hope to return to share more thoughts -- about Niagara Falls, about connecting with a friend in person after three decades, about Ohio, about whether to job hunt or sign my contract and stay another year, about Aunt Elva's passing, about seeing shows again, about making sense in this crazy world.

For now, eating and enjoying temperatures hovering around 80 instead of in the upper 90s.