And Now We Say Good-bye

This has been the strangest paced year of my life. There were certainly times over the past ten months since we welcomed Yoran into our home that the time would never end -- akin to being a child and summer vacation seems to float languidly in front of you, only in reverse since we started at the end of summer.

Fast forward through swim and tennis seasons, a trip to Valhalla, NY to meet other exchange students, and the cultural festival and suddenly his mom, dad, and brother were arriving in New Jersey to spend two days seeing his life.

How did that happen? One moment it was Easter, then Ashley came home from college, then they both celebrated birthdays, we had going away party #1 with friends, followed by going away party #2 with his parents.

We loved the visit with his family. After meeting them, and spending two days with them, I feel every exchange family should have a chance to meet the home family (not sure how to phrase that, but you know what I mean). They were most gracious and appreciative about how we made his year possible. They were concerned about sending their son to the USA in light of the gun violence issues -- rightfully so since in the first week of school a student was caught bringing a gun to the high school. Deep breaths. They put a lot of faith in us complete strangers.

They loved our house -- felt it, and our neighborhood, was a typical American home. Been so long since we've had people over for the first time it was nice to see our house in a different light. 

For his last couple of days the family saw the high school (could not wander the halls -- but we did see the front lobby and the pool), including the football field and tennis courts. They walked around the park -- marveling at the wild life I take for granted, and went to the local Starbucks -- where he hung out on Sunday afternoons. We took two trips into Princeton to taste test Thomas Sweet vs. the bent spoon. The time together was too brief.

I felt completely at ease with them and wished they lived closer so we could spend more time together. Conversations were easy and plentiful. I think Yoran and his brother, Ilyas, convinced Ashley to fly from Florence, Italy to Belgium next year so they can show her around. His dad, Kerim, asked me to send the addresses where I lived so he could drive Ashley around and show her where I lived when I was an exchange student.

Tonight we are empty nesters as Ashley is staying over a friend's house. We've started transforming the "back bedroom" from Yoran's room to my office. I am looking forward to moving my laptop from the couch into an office and having a space of my own again. That, and playing taxi, were the hardest parts of hosting. He was a dream -- laid back, near-perfect English, no mood swings, no blatantly breaking of rules (bending... testing...). It was a great year, but I'm still looking forward to this next chapter.

This Week's Random Thoughts

 This might be quick because Yoran's parents are set to arrive in about 15 minutes.

1) We saw "A Kid Like Jake" last night about a 4-year old boy showing signs of being transgendered. The play also tackled the competitive field of pre-school admissions in Manhattan, miscarriage, and how even liberal parents can be upset when their son starts to show signs he would rather be a girl. In other words -- A LOT! This year Don and I signed up for the Wednesday night series. Not because we like going to see a show on a Wednesday night (though with him stage managing this year it worked out best) but because the Wednesday shows include a talk back. Last night's talk back turned into a therapy session when an older man asked one of the actresses how she cried real tears while on stage. She started to talk about a student in her school district (our school district) who killed himself last week. I don' know the details, but it happened in the park by our house and had something to do with him being gay. (Not sure if he came out to his parents and they rejected him, or if he was afraid to come out to them.) Then I started crying. 

There are so many problems in this country.

2) The Supreme Court decided to overthrow New York's law making it easier for people to carry weapons in public. This only a couple of weeks after a mass shooting in a grocery store in Buffalo, NY and a school shooting in Uvalde, TX. Why are we making it easier for people to have guns? I don't get it.

3) Graduation was hard for me to sit through. Possibly because I knew it would be (self-fulfilling prophecy). It hurt to hear the speeches saying how great it was they could have a real graduation again, and a real end to senior year. I get that they suffered as underclassmen, but it will always ache I didn't sit in the same stadium and hear Ashley's friends graduate. See them bounce the beach ball as names were called. See them laugh and pose for selfies together. College graduation will be that much sweeter.

4) Jayne's husband tested positive for COVID. Thank goodness Jayne wore her mask all week because she tested positive today. I know it seems inevitable that I get it, but I really don't want it right now. We have tickets to see two shows next Wednesday and plans to go to Canada in 11 days. I am excited about being able to paint the office.

I think they are here. 

This Week's Random Thoughts

Two big topics come to mind for this week's edition of Random Thoughts. 

The first:

Don and I went out last night with of his friends. It was the first time in years I have encountered someone whose filter is completely missing, and has absolutely no ability to talk at less than a mile a minute. It was quite entertaining. I learned more about her parenting style, her frustration with moving south, her disregard for her husband's feelings (he was also in the room), her disability to follow social rules, her fabulous severance package despite moving out of state, and more in about 20 minutes. I left shocked I did not learn about their sex life since literally everything was fair topic (except, of course, anything about me -- though she did criticize me for asking my husband if it was okay to invade his party with friends). Fortunately I did enjoy socializing with everyone else at an easier pace.

The second is less amusing:

I learned I really have to look for a new job. Though the writing has been on the wall, and everyone's advice has been I need to look for someplace new, it because abundantly clear when I was told I am not to socialize with my co-workers at the end of the year staff party or holiday party, or any other non-during work hours event. The only two people not included (staff size 26) are myself and the person who writes the paychecks and handles HR issues (among many other hats). The reason cited was because it would make the rest of the staff too uncomfortable around me -- they'd have to stay professional when they'd rather kick back and relax. 

Yet, the principal, school secretary, and nurse are all included.

Do they do Jell-o shots and play strip poker? I only wanted to go to the party to be a good team player (it happens on my day off). Now I feel extremely uncomfortable around any of them. Who said they didn't want me there? The principal is the one who ultimately told me, but said staff members (who are afraid of me?) spoke with her.

I really hate looking for a new job, but the job market is strong and I have a 3 1/2 year track record of being a development officer who had to keep pivoting during a pandemic. I've got a great story to tell.

Oh, but I really don't want to work full-time.

Pray the right job comes along. This one was the right job at the time, but stopped being the right one about six months ago. I don't see a way to change that.

How to job hunt when you are FaceBook friends with co-workers, a parent, and a board member? I landed the last job through networking on social media. I don't feel comfortable (yet) doing this. 

Go Thunder!

Opening Day for Trenton Thunder finally arrived!

Last year opening day was May 4 -- the latest in history. Through many twists and turns, Trenton Thunder hosted both the newly formed Draft League and the AAA Buffalo Bisons. Click on the link to read about the complicated system.

Late last summer there was much hope we would open the 2022 season affiliated once again with a AA team. That was not to be. Instead, we have a 40-game home season as part of the Draft League. The Draft League is designed to give players exposure, and allow scouts a chance to see a lot of decent players in one place. Overall the goals revolve around player development and not around wins and losses.

Listening to the post-game the announcers put a positive spin on the Draft League saying in the end fans come out to see what happens "between the white lines." There will always be good innings and bad innings. They proceeded to describe great plays and remind the fans last year eight players moved closer to their dreams.

Most players are in college. At least one just graduated from high school. Many in college have to commit to staying with their school for at least three years. At least one player returned from last year. Because they are playing college ball, the Draft League starts later. The World Series of college ball is happening this week, which means most college teams have recently ended their season. I told Yoran if he found a uniform he could slip onto the field and they might not even notice -- mostly kidding since he has never played baseball and doesn't even know the rules, but he is young enough and tall enough to blend in with the team. 

Yoran and I arrived a half an hour early. Somehow we managed to score magnetic schedules (yay!). I think the only reason we got one was because we went in Walt's Gate with the season ticket holders (and not many non-season ticket holders) and there spares. I'm happy.

We were there early enough to see the pre-game stuff -- first pitches by little kids, the National Anthem (and more little kids on the field), announcing the line ups, etc. Because it was opening day Boomer wore a tux. Cloudman does not seem to have a wardrobe.

The Thunder marketing team did a great job reminding groups just how much they enjoy going to baseball games. Over 6,000 people bought tickets to the game (the stadium seats 6,440 people -- so nearly sold out). The concession line was extremely long (and slow). The seats were filled -- a sharp contrast to most opening days when they sell about 2,000 seats and we are freezing under blankets sipping hot chocolate in early April. This time it felt like baseball weather (at least until it rained).

Ashley joined us by the second inning -- and posed for a selfie.

A highlight of coming early is seeing the bat dog at work -- he (so far they have all been male dogs) works the first inning retrieving bats. Chase was the original bat dog. After his retirement his son, Derby, took over. Then Rookie. Now Dash (a dog cousin) is being trained. Dash worked the first inning. Rookie was brought out for the second inning, and to show Dash how it is done. Dash looked like he was mentally taking notes. Fortunately Rookie didn't do what he did to make international news last season -- interrupt the game! Sometimes (well, more than sometimes) he picks up the ball instead of the bat.

Ashley and Yoran stayed through the seventh inning stretch. We showed Yoran the Boomer Race and the Dizzy Bat Race and explained the between innings antics are just as much fun as the actual game, but when Ashley said she was going home, he took the opportunity to leave with her.

I stayed. Within a few minutes the skies opened up. Play continued. The Williamsport team loaded the bases, pitching changes took place, and still it rained. At first it was a mist. Then a drizzle. Then is stopped. Then it really came down. Thunder's pitcher, Ashe, was able to get them out of the jam and retain the lead. The tarp was put on the field in the middle of the 8th inning.

We speculated whether or not they would return. The Draft League rule is it is up to the coaches to decide if they want to continue. This is the same rule that applies in case of a tie at the end of 9 innings, which is why Draft League games can end in a tie.

Carmine, one of the ushers, convinced me to go home. I walked over to the announcers and saw the game is broadcast on 920 AM. I hopped in my convertible and tuned the radio to the game. Before I was past the stadium (must make a giant U-turn out of the stadium) they were calling the game. You could tell the announcers were stretching for something to say when the one talked about how his barber retired and he now goes to his wife's hair salon, which means having to make an appointment. The hair dresser comes in early so he doesn't have to hang out with the women. It was memorable.

Before talking about his hair cut, the announcers reminded us it is nice to have baseball back. That is the true takeaway.

Go Thunder!

The Traveling Diary Tour: a sisterhood of stories

At some random point in the past year I read about The Traveling Diary Tour: a sisterhood of stories and immediately signed up to join the tour. The basic premise is a diary travels from woman to woman. When it makes it way to us, we have three days to write as much or as little as we want. The stories run the gambit. You have no idea when the diary will arrive in your mailbox (though the host does give you a warning it is coming soon). Reading this, you can imagine it will likely appear when you are your busiest, most stressed out self. Not only do you have to block out time to write something, you have to bring it to the post office (when it is open) and send it to the next person using a tracking method.

No pressure!

Of course after waiting for so long, you want to read the entrees before you and

think of something memorable to say.

A quick spoiler...there is more than one diary floating around the world. When mine made its way to me there were about a half a dozen entrees. The organizer every so often puts out a pitch to be one of the first few writers -- she is the very first one -- women enjoy reading the stories before their own, otherwise we could just create a blog and write our thoughts (umm...the saying "when you point a finger at someone, three point back at you" comes to mind as I type this).

As I said, it was a busy week. Work was in gala prep mode. I had a board meeting. My colonoscopy was that week. I used my pages to vent about how frustrated I am with how long COVID is lasting, and how many life experiences it has robbed from me (and everyone else, of course, but this was my moment to vent). I then packaged it and mailed it back to the coordinator (I was supposed to send it to someone else, but that message was in an email and not in the envelope). 

Honestly, it felt good. It is a fairly anonymous experience. The coordinator lives in Montclair, NJ, so there is a chance we will gather to meet.

After returning the book I learned I was one of the early people to sign up and am now part of a select group that receives special emails. I don't know if it is true, but the thought does make me smile. A sense of belonging to a special group of women.

Perhaps as life seems to be getting calmer I'll put my name back on the list. I did enjoy reading about the other women. We'll see.

Mrs. Doubtfire on Broadway

Sometimes life works out. It is wonderful when that happens.

Last month was our 29th wedding anniversary. Don and I both tried for "Mrs. Doubtfire" lottery tickets. Though we both did it at the same moment, somehow he was faster and won the $35 tickets (cheapest regular tickets were about twice that).

We left Yoran at home and celebrated our anniversary.

Allow me to take a step back and start from the beginning. A month before the pandemic I bought tickets to three shows: "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Diana," and "Little Shop of Horrors." A few weeks after the lights went out on Broadway, the theaters issued refunds. 

That was April 2020. 

The theaters stayed closed until the fall of 2021. That's a long time. Many shows returned, but not all. "Diana" filmed in a locked down bubble -- no one was allowed to come in or leave. I don't know the details about how they received food and other supplies, but they did whatever it took to keep COVID on the other side of their locked doors. It was filmed without an audience, and everyone was subjected to regular COVID tests. It worked. The musical debuted on Netflix before debuting on Broadway in November 2021. That gave us a chance to see it and realize (in our opinion) it was not worth buying tickets to it.

"Little Shop of Horrors" returned to off-Broadway. The role of Seymore has changed. We still hope to see this.

That left "Mrs. Doubtfire." Rob McClure received a Tony nomination, but that was their only nomination. They announced they would close on May 29th. Rats! We wanted to see it and were running out of time. When Don won the lottery (with a maximum of two tickets) we hopped in the car and went into NYC.

Our seats ended up being next to the parents of the woman who plays the oldest daughter. The next day she was graduating from college a year early (and summa cum laude), so her parents planned a surprise for her (a giant bouquet of flowers and an announcement from the stage). It was extra magical seeing it through the eyes of her mom -- which would not have happened had we bought the nosebleed seats. Oh, I forgot to mention -- we were in Orchestra Row H! 

It was a beautiful day, so we walked around Central Park, and back down to Times Square. In Times Square they have an exhibit of GIANT Playbills -- amazing just how many shows we have seen. Post-pandemic, Don and I have seen five shows: "Pass Over," "Six," "Harry Potter," "Music Man," and now "Mrs. Doubtfire." We have plans to see "Into the Woods" and "Paradise Square" in a few weeks.

In a weird twist of fate ... if we see "Little Shop of Horrors" this summer, we'll likely see it with Rob McClure as Seymour making it the second time I see him perform the lead.

Following are a sampling of pictures from our day in NYC.

We never did figure out the significance of this memorial.

With the accordion player serenading us,
for a moment I was transported to Paris.

Now I know how those carts disappear at night.

A must-stop for Don: a dollar slice of pizza.

Random Thoughts

I'm toying with setting a new goal for the second half of the year: blogging about something random that happened that week. It would be much more feelings based than photo-based.

Some recent topics I have thought about writing a blogpost on, but then time passes and the details of the feelings pass with them:

1) Our cleaning lady fired us.

Last last year I was tired of cleaning up after Don and Yoran in the rare moments when they both left the house. Cleaning with them in the house means tripping over them. Yes, I could put my foot down and insist they do more cleaning (especially cleaning the bathrooms they use), but I've come to accept their levels of cleanliness are not the same as mine -- case in point, Yoran has only changed his sheets once in the 10 months he has lived with us (and that was near the half-way point), and his towels collect in his closet until I tell him the rest of us are running out of towels.

So, we hired a friend who has a cleaning business. This meant Don trusted her, and once a month she came over and provided social interaction for him. Once a month he put his laundry away so she didn't see the pile, and weekly he cleaned the upstairs toilet so she didn't see it getting dirty. He also emptied the trash.

What happened? One week she insisted we did not hang a sparkly bow that had been hanging on our front door on the banister because it would drop glitter and be a mess to clean. I liked the bow and hung it there anyway (after shaking it and noting no sparkles came off). Don took the bow off and HID it from me. I was too furious to yell at him, so I texted her (remember, this relationship began as a friendship). At first she thought I was joking, then realized I wasn't. She took me out for tea to talk about it. She told me stories about her marriage and seemed to sympathize. She pointed out it wasn't about the bow, she doesn't really care (umm..I beg to differ, she had a hissy fit over the bow in the first place -- which I felt was overstepping her boundaries). When we parted she asked if I still wanted her to come clean. I said "of course." A week later she wrote and said she wouldn't come back because she has never been in the middle of a couple's fight and felt uncomfortable being in our house. 

So, no more cleaning lady. She did say we were still friends, but we didn't do much together before this so I don't see that increasing now. I finally told Don she wasn't coming back (as I was scrubbing the house before company came over). He is sorry, but I think he is sorry about her not coming back and her feelings being hurt and not because my feelings are still hurt. Meanwhile, still no bow (he actually hid it on me), nor a replacement bow. He is interested in having a new cleaning lady, but not enough to do the research of pay for one.

Hmm... I guess I had more than I thought on that topic.

2) Virtual Mommy and Me classes seem like a huge waste of time.

This thought came to me while I was hanging out with Laura and Nancy (moms I met through Mommy and Me classes nearly two decades ago). A friend of Laura's was there because her dryer died and Laura invited her over to do laundry. The friend has a kindergartener and a younger one. During the conversation she raved about the online Mommy and Me class because her kid still had some socialization without having to drive him anywhere. She did a similar class pre-pandemic when her daughter was the same age, so she had something to compare it to. 

After she left I looked at Laura and Nancy and lamented we would not have met without those Mommy and Me classes. I treasure their friendship which has lasted longer than the friendships of our children.

3) I've got a secret.

I'm not going to divulge the secrets, only say I'm tired of keeping track of who knows what and who is allowed to know what. The topics span both work and family.

4) I feel like I know more people with COVID now than I have at any other time in the pandemic -- many are vaccinated, boosted, and even double boosted. Yet, I continue to lead my life as if there is no pandemic. Yes, I should be wearing a mask in public, but I don't unless required.

Let's see what happens. In two weeks our exchange student will be leaving. I'm looking forward to turning his room into my new office. I'm hoping to paint the builder's grade white walls periwinkle blue. Don has decided he likes my old office better. Since he is still working from home, it seems only fair he gets first choice. I can't wait to have a space to call my own again.